Vandal (Ashes & Embers 2)

He bends his knee up and leans his arm on it. “Yeah. I rammed you pretty hard last night.”

My pussy immediately quivers at his words. Sweet Jesus. Who asks questions like that?

“Um, a little bit, but it’s all right.”

He stares at me intently and chews on a toothpick he’s got hanging out of his mouth. “I’m not good at slow and easy.”

“Maybe you just need to practice.” The words come out before I consider that he’ll take that as a challenge.

An evil but sexy smile spreads across his lips and I know that’s exactly what he’s thinking.

“Soon your gifts will be here, and I’ll have a lot in store for you.”

“More ramming, I assume?”

He throws his head back and laughs. “You’re such a little smart-ass, ya know that? I’m starting to like it. And yeah, there will be some ramming, but a lot more than that.”

I’m not sure if I should be worried about this or not. I’m definitely intrigued.

“I’ll have some rules,” he says.

“Such as?”

“For starters, you should kiss me good morning every day and thank me.”

“Thank you for what?”

“Ramming you the night before,” he half teases, quirking one eyebrow up.

I can’t not giggle at him. I’m starting to like our little sarcastic talks and the way he makes me laugh even when it’s the last thing I want to do.

“I see,” I say. “Should I start now?”

He leans into my neck. “You want to kiss me, don’t you?” he whispers in my ear, his breath hot against me.

I turn my face towards his. “I do,” I whisper back, my heart beating faster. The way he makes me feel when he is near me is indescribable and beyond the usual butterflies I have felt in the past when I met someone new and exciting. I feel as if I have known him so much longer than just two days, as if there is some kind of timeless connection between us.

He touches my cheek and runs his thumb across my bottom lip. “Kiss me then. Make me feel like you mean it.”

Swallowing nervously, I tilt my head and kiss his lips. I don’t want it to mean anything, but it’s starting to. I just don’t know exactly what that meaning is yet.

“What are you doing to me?” I ask him softly, looking into his dark eyes, our noses touching.

His hand tightens at the back of my neck. “Everything.”

I’m tumbling fast and hard into the web he’s weaving, clinging to the hope that he really is bringing me out of my depression, making me want to feel and live again. What’s scaring me is he’s making me want him so much. My lips meet his again and I kiss him the only way I can right now—soft, questioning, searching. His breathing grows heavier and he wraps an arm around me, holding me against him. I move my lips down to kiss and gently suck his neck and he groans, his hand sliding down to squeeze my ass. Kissing my way back up to his lips, I pause and peek up into his hooded eyes.

“Fuck, darlin’. You’re killing me.” He sighs.

I touch his stubbled cheek and kiss him again. “How so?”

“Your touch is so soft. No one’s ever kissed me like that.”

“Oh.” My voice drops with disappointment. I guess he’s used to something better, something sexier.

“Hey,” he says. “That’s a compliment. Don’t get down.”

I shake my head a little. “I’m just not good at this.”

“Cut it out. You don’t want to start the day with a spanking, do you?”

I giggle. “No.”

“Then don’t stop kissing me.”

We spend the entire morning on the dock, kissing and stopping for him to play some songs for me, then kissing again. Once I started kissing him, I felt as if I couldn’t stop, as if he were my anchor to keep me from drifting back to Nick’s memories, the depression, and the suicidal thoughts. Maybe if I hang on to him long enough, I really will be okay.

“I’m gonna go for a ride,” he says abruptly, grabbing his bass and standing up. “I won’t be gone too long.”

“Okay …” I’m taken aback that he wants to leave and wonder if I did something wrong. I follow him into the house. “I could go with you?” I suggest, standing in the doorway of the second bedroom, watching him put his bass in its carry case and then into the closet.

“I kinda want to be alone.”

Ouch.

“Oh.”

“Can you cook?”

“Cook?” I repeat.

He winds a hair-tie around his hair that he’s pulled into a ponytail. “Yeah, as in dinner?”

“Yes. I think I can manage that.”

He ruffles my hair like I’m a little dog or a small child. “Good. I’ll be back in about two hours. I’d like it if you have dinner ready when I get back. That’s something I’d like to happen a lot, actually, as part of our arrangement, so if you need any cookbooks or groceries, let me know and I’ll get what you need.”

“Okay. Can you get me a charger for my cell phone?”

“Sure. Anything you need, just let me know.” He takes a few more steps towards the door that leads to the garage and then turns back. “Part of this is me giving you things to do so you don’t fall into a rut. You understand that, right? I’m not just trying to be a dick.”

“Yes. I understand that.”

“And I’m glad you’re interested enough to do some research on a D/s relationship. That means a lot to me. I know we haven’t really talked much about all of it, and that’s my fault. I just want you to be careful about what you read online. Like I said, people have their own reasons for getting involved in this kind of relationship, and I don’t judge what they do if it’s something I’m not into, but a lot of what you see and read could be …” He looks up, as if he’s searching for the right words “… scary for you, for lack of a better word. I don’t want you to get freaked out thinking I’m going to hang you from the rafters for days, or share you with other men.”

My stomach lurches. “Wait, what?”

“No, I’m not into that. Relax. I’m more into the submission, worship, restraints, spanking, emotional bonding and boundaries, power, orgasm control, trust … just to quickly rattle off some of it.” He closes the distance between us and puts his hand on the side of my neck, under my hair. The warmth of his fingers feels comforting to me, and eases my fears. “I want us to explore it all together and find what works for us. If you read about something that you want to try, tell me. Or, if you read about something that is a definite no fucking way for you, make a list of those too. How’s that?”

Nodding, I try to dredge up my voice. “Yes … that would be good I think.”

He gives my neck a gentle squeeze. “I guess I wanted to make sure you were going to stick around for a while before we really talked about everything, which is ass-backwards, right?”

Letting out a little laugh, I agree. “Yes,

but I understand. This whole situation has been a little unconventional.”

“Do you regret coming here?” A shadow of worry shrouds his face, and it’s becoming increasingly obvious that whatever this is between us is important to him. But why? Surely he has no shortage of women, with his looks and sexual talents. What the hell is he after?

I don’t answer right away because I want him to sweat it out a little. “No, not yet,” I finally say.

“Well here’s a warning, baby. My goal is to make sure you never regret it. So if you’re gonna run, you better run now.” He pulls me to him, forcing me to stand on my tiptoes to kiss him, then he lets me go and walks away.

“Don’t forget dinner and don’t go through my things,” he reminds me. “And feed the furry, sightless one.”

I’m still standing in the hallway when his motorcycle starts and then roars off out of the driveway, the sound fading as he drives further down the mountain road.

My first impulse is to go to sleep until he comes back, and then a little light bulb goes off in my brain. That’s what I’ve been doing for months: sleeping my life away. Waiting for Nick to come back when he never will. Waiting for my own life to just end. Wishing hateful thoughts on the person who caused the accident. But first I wander around the house. I’ve been in such a fog that I haven’t noticed how gorgeous and unique this place is. It’s small, but modern, with an open-concept layout, vaulted ceilings with exposed raw wooden beams like I saw in the bedroom, skylights, and floor-to-ceiling windows in the living room, dining room and master bedroom. Everything is clean and in its place, hinting at his control-freak nature. Native American decor fills almost every room with wolf statues, Indian pottery, dream catchers, wall paintings, and the focal point of the living room—a huge colorful headdress mounted above the fireplace. I’m sure it’s authentic, and I wonder where he got it and if it’s a family heirloom. A huge tapestry hangs from the wall in the foyer with an image of an Indian family on it, real feathers hanging from the corners of the frame. The wraparound couch and accent chair are deep chocolate brown suede with cream throw pillows. A white, thick faux-fur blanket is folded along the back of the couch. I wish I had noticed that when I was napping the other day because it looks extremely cozy.