Asher (Ashes & Embers 6)

Every single situation Ember talked about in the dreams turned out to be true, but I’ve never told Kenzi and Tor that it was Ember who convinced me to accept them being together.

“Ash?” Tor’s voice pulls me back to the conversation. “What happened in the dream?”

“She kept turning away from me. She was nervous and distracted. She said she felt weird and her head hurt, and she was scared. She said she couldn’t be there anymore—”

“Be where?” Kenzi interrupts.

“I’m not sure. In the dream place, I think. And then she said she couldn’t talk to me anymore because she doesn’t know me.” I gulp my coffee. “Then she disappeared, and I woke up with my heart pounding, covered in sweat, feeling like something is really wrong.”

Kenzi touches my arm. “Daddy, I think that was just a bad dream. You’re worried about the new treatment. That’s all.”

Shaking my head, I place my coffee cup on the end table. “I don’t think that’s it. It felt real. Something was different about her this time. Usually she seems...peaceful. Happy. Confident. She always holds my hand, makes eye contact. We kiss. But not last night. She was distant and agitated. Lost.”

Tor glances over at Kenzi with that SOS look that couples share when something’s going down.

He clears his throat. “I think Kenzi’s right. It makes total sense because you’re worried one minute and getting your hopes up the next. When you’re sleeping, everything just mangles together in your head.”

As much as I want to believe that, I don’t think it’s true. “I don’t know... I feel like something’s different. Like maybe something is happening.”

“What kind of happening?” Tor asks.

“Maybe she isn’t going to wake up at all, but now whatever that thing was that let her visit my dreams is gone. If that’s true, I’ll be wrecked. The dreams are all I have. I’ll completely lose her.”

Their dog rests his head on my thigh, his big, black soulful eyes peering up at me. Running my fingers through his thick, plushy fur is comforting and distracting. I’m not embarrassed to cry in front of Tor and Kenzi. I’m just tired of falling apart.

“Dad, we don’t know exactly what those dreams are. Maybe they really are some kind of visit from Mom, or maybe they’re just dreams. Maybe it’s something your mind is doing all on its own, to give you some kind of coping mechanism.”

Nodding, I continue to pet Diogee as my daughter tries to talk me off the mental ledge. She’s had years of practice, so she’s a pro at it now.

“This is why Tor and I were worried about any experimental treatment and how it would affect you. If it works, and she wakes up, it’ll be a miracle. But if it doesn’t, then she’s going to be exactly where she is. Dreams or not, Daddy, she’s probably going to stay unresponsive. Forever. Maybe, in the dream last night, she was trying to tell you she’s letting you go, so you’ll let her go. For her and for you.”

My daughter speaks so honestly, yet so carefully. Everyone says she gets that from me, but at times like this, I both love it and hate it.

Let go. Let go. Let go.

I’ve heard those words a million times since Ember fell off that cliff. The irony is she’s in a coma because I let go. She slipped and fell into a never-ending abyss.

Because I let her go.

I’ll never forgive myself for it, and I’ll never do it again. In any way.

“The house across the street is for sale,” I say, needing to change the subject.

Kenzi’s eyes widen, and she looks over at Tor, then to me. “Across from your house? The one with the gray stone front and the cherry blossom tree?”

I nod. “Yup. It would be great for you guys.”

“It would! I love that house! Tor, can we go look at it?”

My best friend pales. “That house is huge, Angel. I think it’s a bit out of our budget.”

Kenzi’s face falls into a pout, the light diminishing in her eyes. She’s my little girl. I could never stand to see her disappointed.

I still can’t.

“If you want it, I’ll buy it for you. Consider it a belated wedding gift.”

“Oh my God!” Kenzi squeals.

Tor chokes on his coffee and glares at me. “Ash, I’m not letting you buy us a house.”

“Why not?”

“It’s a fucking house, not a plate set.”

“So?”

He squirms under Kenzi’s expectant stare. “I’d rather provide for my wife and family myself.”

Kenzi swallows and bites her lip, then plasters on a smile. “He’s right, Daddy. I love the house, and it would be amazing, but we couldn’t let you do that.”

The more I think about it, the more I’d love to have Kenzi and Tor living right across the street. Tor’s been working his ass off for years at his motorcycle shop, and I’ve hated watching him struggle financially even though he never complains about it. While Kenzi’s never acted spoiled or asked for anything, I know she’d love a big, pretty house to decorate. It’s not like I can’t afford to buy my daughter a house. Other than paying for Ember’s care, I hardly spend any money at all.