Asher (Ashes & Embers 6)

And holy moly his body is bonkers naked. He and Tor work out every morning before school and they don’t look like high school boys. At all! I can still smell his cologne on me and I don’t even want to shower because I love having part of him all over me. Every time I think of his voice and him kissing and touching me my insides quiver. I wonder if he’s thinking of me the same way? I hope so.

We said we wouldn’t do it again after this. Not until we’re older. We love each other so we can wait. But all I can think about is his lips, how his muscles felt when I touched him, his hair in my face, how amazing it felt to be one with him, the look in his eyes when he says he loves me. Asher Valentine is a damn God of love.

My eyebrow tilts up at all this cute yet sexy detail, and my insides are now quivering thinking about how it felt when he kissed me—slow, sweet, and sensual—last night under the stars. Yes, it was amazing, but way too much for a fifteen-year-old to be feeling. Seems like Asher has always been quite the romantic—even as a teen. At least my first time sounds like it was good and not some jabbing quickie hit-and-run situation. But seriously, fifteen? That’s just way too young to be having sex. How dumb could we be? Where were my parents?

Sighing, I turn the page.

Dear Diary,

I’ve been afraid to write but it always makes me feel better so here goes.

I’m pregnant.

I gasp and almost drop the journal. Pregnant already! I want to crawl through these pages back in time and slap Ember. And Asher while I’m at it. How could they do this?

That was so hard to write. :(

I’m scared and disappointed but I can’t lie…I’m also happy. We love our tiny baby so much already because she’s part of us. I don’t even know how it happened. We made love just once and we really thought we were being careful enough. We thought he could just pull out. :(

It’s not like we weren’t trying to be careful. We really were. Now I’m not sure what’s going to happen. We want to keep the baby no matter what. We know it’s gonna be hard but we know we can do it. My parents are going to go mental. I’m afraid to tell them but I know I have to. Soon.

We already talked to Asher’s parents and they were very nice and understanding. They were surprised and a little disappointed because we’re so young, but they didn’t yell or scream or go psycho. They said they’ll do anything to help us. They even said they’d come with me to tell my parents. They actually seemed happy about having a baby in the family.

Why can’t my parents be like that? We know they’re going to be the total opposite and act like the gates of hell have opened and swallowed me up to burn forever. Not that having a baby while I’m in high school is a good thing but it doesn’t have to be the apocalypse either.

Jesus, Ember! You’re in high school! Why on earth do you want a baby? I grab my glass of orange juice, shaking my head between sips. They barely knew each other. They’ve only slept together once. They’re too young to be making all these decisions.

We.

Me.

I got pregnant and had a baby at fifteen years old.

No wonder my brain has forgotten all this.

Dear Diary,

I haven’t written in weeks because so much has been going on. I told my parents I’m pregnant and they went crazy. My dad put his fist through the dining room wall and my mom screamed and cried about rape and whores. I felt so awful and dirty. I didn’t mean to hurt them and I wish they would just try to understand that Asher and I love each other and we want our baby and we’re going to get married when we can.

My parents want to send me to a relative in CA who I only met once in my whole life! They want me to have my baby and then give it up for adoption then come back home and pretend it never happened. No. I will NEVER EVER EVER do that. Asher and I want our baby. I’m not going to give our baby to strangers just because we’re young. We’re going to love her and take care of her no matter what.

Yes, it’s a little girl! For now I’m living with Asher’s parents and his family. My parents didn’t even care, they just gave their permission for me to go live with someone else. They haven’t called me and they don’t even want me to visit them because they said it makes them sick to see me pregnant by that “hippy scumbag.”