“I know Katherine wouldn’t do that. She’s always been fair and supportive.”
She gives me a weak, yet hopeful smile, and wipes her eyes. “I want you to do this tour. I think it will re-energize you. Help you get back to your old self too. I want to stay here and work on some new paintings, and if you’re okay with it, I’d love to redecorate a little, maybe paint the walls like we talked about. Make it feel a little more like my home. Change can be good. It can cast a whole new light on things.”
“You can do whatever’s going to make you feel better. I told you, we can move, tear walls down, get all new stuff. I don’t care about any of that, Ember. All I care about is us. Together, happy, healthy, and building a life together.”
“I want that too. Please don’t think of this as a breakup, because I’m not thinking of it that way. We’ve been apart in the past, right? You went on tour. I went on tour. According to the journals, we missed each other like crazy.” She quirks her eyebrow. “Maybe it’s what we need.”
I nod reluctantly. She’s right about us missing each other, but I’ve already done the absence makes the heart grow fonder tour for eight years, and it was agony. “I’ll do anything if it’ll make things right for us. I’d rather saw my arm off than be away from you, but if you think it’ll help, then that’s what we’ll do. I don’t want to suffocate you or force you. I want you to want to be with me.” I sigh with defeat. “I’ll do what I can to put the tour together. Just so you know, I’ll probably be on the road for about six weeks.”
She squints slightly, as if she’s calculating something in her head. “That should be good. I think it’s best if I stay in the guest room until then.”
Christ. Another knife plunged straight into my heart.
“Are you sure that’s what you want?”
She leans forward and plants a soft kiss on my cheek, hovering close while caressing my shoulder. “Just for a little while. I think a bit of space and change will be good for us. Try to trust me. Please.”
I’ve always trusted her. She’s always known what I need, even when I didn’t.
Hopefully now is one of those times.
Chapter Forty-One
I lean back in the lawn chair and put my feet up on the edge of one of the stone planters. Voices and laughter from my brothers, cousins, and friends fill the air around the bonfire. I can’t remember the last time just us guys have hung out in my yard on a Friday night grilling burgers, drinking a few beers, and shooting the shit.
“You look like you’ve got something on your mind, bro,” Storm says from the chair beside me. “You doing okay?”
I lift a bottle of water to my lips and take a gulp before nodding. “I’m good. Just wanted to talk to you guys about some band stuff.”
“We were wondering why you herded us all here.” He raises a pierced eyebrow. “Sans significant others.”
I clear my throat and put my water down on the freshly cut lawn.
“Hey,” I say loud enough for everyone to hear me over the talking and music piping through the outdoor speakers. “I got a cool idea to run by you guys.”
Everyone stops talking and looks in my direction.
It’s safe to say, for a while now, every one of these guys has been expecting me to call it quits and leave the band. To be honest, it’s crossed my mind a few times over the years. I guess I was waiting for a sign—something to lead me down the right path.
I have been waiting. To be remembered. Needed. Wanted.
Loved.
I glance toward the house just in time to catch her moving away from the second-story window, behind the pale, gauzy curtains of the guest room. The fucking guest room. I turn my attention back to the guys, who are still staring at me with apprehension.
“Remember a while back we talked about doing a short tour of only small bars and clubs? Just for fun, like old times? With no promotion, no tickets. We set it up with the managers and show up and play. If there’s fans there—great. If not, maybe we’ll make some new ones. The thing is, I want Talon to come back, but not on guitar.” I meet my youngest brother’s eyes over the blaze of the bonfire between us. “I want you to sing the songs you wrote way back when. And I want Tor back on guitar.” I shift my eyes to my best friend. “I want to resurrect some of our oldest songs—the ones you wrote but never got to play.”