Asher (Ashes & Embers 6)

Tor blinks with a mix of excitement and confusion as he processes what I just suggested.

“What about Finn?” Mikah asks. “He replaced Talon.”

“He didn’t fuckin’ replace me,” Talon interjects. “He’s just a tool of convenience.”

“Don’t be a bitch, Tal,” Finn shoots back, crushing his empty beer can in his hand and hurling it at Talon’s head. My brother ducks, catches it, and pelts it back at Finn.

“Hey.” I narrow my eyes at them. “Can you two cut the shit? You’re like two little kids fighting in the damn sandbox.”

“Me and Ash already talked about it,” Finn replies, still glaring at Talon. “I’ll be touring with EverLust when he wants to do this. But I’ll still be playing in A&E in the future, depending on where we end up with tour schedules for each band. Lotsa musicians do it.”

“I hoped you’d play with us for this reunion tour,” I say to Tor, who still looks exactly like I thought he’d look—in a state of shock. But I also see the glimmer of elation in his eyes. The lust to get his fingers back on the strings.

“Me?” he says. “I haven’t played professionally in years. I have a wife and a kid now. And a business. I can’t just hop on a tour bus.”

“Why not? I did it for years with a wife and a kid. Your brothers can run the shop without you for a while. It’ll only be for a few weeks. Two months, tops, to play in our favorite cities. It’ll fly by.”

“I don’t know, man. I mean, it sounds fuckin’ great, but there’s a lot to think about. I have to talk to Kenzi first.”

My daughter is either going to love me or hate me for giving Tor the chance to live the dream he gave up years ago to take care of his family.

“Talk to her and let me know. Are the rest of you guys okay with all this?” My brothers all nod in agreement. As do my cousins Vandal and Lukas.

“What about Ember?” Storm asks. “We thought you were putting the band on hiatus so you could be here for her.”

I stare at the dancing flames of the bonfire, which mimic the incessant burning deep in my gut.

“Yeah.” I stand and dust my hands on my pants. “I did too. There’s been a change of plans.”

Later, after everyone’s gone home and I’ve cleaned up the yard and taken a shower, I stop in front of the guest room door on my way to the master bedroom suite.

Sighing, I knock lightly on the door. “Can I come in?”

Five seconds pass before she answers. “Okay.”

She’s sitting in bed reading a book, wearing her purple-rimmed glasses that make her look adorably nerdy and sexy. Teddy is curled up at her side.

“How’s the book?” I cross the room and sit on the edge of the bed. She smiles, and my breath catches at how young she appears. She could easily pass as Kenzi’s sister rather than her mother. It’s as if she didn’t age at all while she was in the limbo between life and death.

“It’s good,” she says.

“What’s it about?”

“A young girl who lives alone on an island. With her dog.”

I frown. “That sounds lonely.”

“She’s very lonely, but she adapts and survives. She’s lost, even though she’s home. It’s sad but hopeful too.” She closes the book, but her eyes linger on the cover. “I sort of feel like this girl.”

“I don’t want you to ever feel lonely, sad, or lost, Em.” I reach out to touch her cheek.

“How about hopeful?” Her voice is melancholy tonight, her demeanor less confident than she’s been since she came back from Maine last week. I wonder if she’s having second thoughts about wanting us to have time apart. Maybe she’s worried it’ll make things worse, rather than better, between us.

I have that same worry.

“Yes. Always. I want you to feel hopeful every minute of every day and never stop. Okay?”

Her eyes light up a little as they gaze into mine. “Okay,” she whispers. “I want you to be hopeful too.”

Closing my eyes, I lean forward and kiss her forehead, aching and wishing for more than just hope.

“Hope dies last, baby,” I say softly. “I’ve got a whole lot left in me.”

I go to my room and lie in bed, wide awake, for hours. Insomnia has become my new bedside companion. Instead of counting sheep, I count fears and wishes.

Ember may be slowly giving up on ever getting all her memories back, but I haven’t. I have this dream, that someday she’s going to wake up, and she’s going to remember her past. All of it. Everything that’s happened since she woke up will merge with her memories, seamlessly, and Ember Valentine, the light and love of my life, will never feel lost or lonely again.