Asher (Ashes & Embers 6)

“She had to know this was gonna go down like this, Tor. She was at the club, and I didn’t even recognize her. Then I meet her for what I thought was a romantic night after not seeing her for two months, and she shows up looking like a totally different person. Do you know what kind of mindfuck this is?”

“I do. I get it. But she’s been mind-fucked since she woke up. You don’t recognize her? How do you think she felt with all of us? She’s got you calling her your wife, she’s got Kenzi calling her Mom. She didn’t even recognize herself in a mirror. I don’t blame her for wanting to level the field.”

My jaw twitches. “What the hell? Whose side are you on?”

“I’m not on any side. I love you both, and I can see both sides of this. You two are in a totally jacked-up position. I’m surprised things didn’t blow up long before this.”

“She changed her face, Tor. Do you understand that? That was the last part of Ember I had.” I choke on the lump in my throat. “She shouldn’t have done that. Now she’s gone. I just keep losing her over and over and over again. I can’t take it anymore.” A sob rushes out of me, and I don’t even try to hold it back.

“Ash.” He softens his voice. “C’mon, man. You haven’t lost her. She’s alive. You’ve been happy. You talk about her all the time. Maybe she’s not the same, but sometimes change is good, right?”

I light up my sixth cigarette. But who’s counting? “I honestly don’t even know anymore. My head is so messed up.”

“I can see that.”

“I don’t know what to do.”

“You either take the second chance you were given and move forward, or you end it. If it were me? I wouldn’t give a shit what Kenzi looked like as long as I could be with her. I always thought you were the same way. Was I wrong?”

“No. You know I’m not like that. I don’t care about her looks. This goes way beyond that.”

“Do you still love her?”

“Fuck yeah, I do. That’s never changed.”

“Then what the hell’s your problem? Your wife just surprised you with a smaller nose, a bangin’ body, and a bunch of tattoos. Big fucking deal. People do this shit every day. There’s worse things in life, ya know.”

I can feel myself turning green with jealousy over the body comment, and I know he’s purposely pushing my buttons.

It’s working.

I clear my throat. “You saw her?”

“She sent Kenzi a picture, and then she sent it to me. And, yeah, I saw her in the back of the club. I didn’t know it was her until I pieced it together. I think she looks great—like if she had a younger sister with dark hair. She had her nose done to look like Kenzi’s, so they’d look related. That’s gotta mean something, right?”

I don’t remember seeing that at all. Everything was a blur. The hair. The face. The tattoos. The body. Right now, I’m so angry and upset, I can’t even bring a vision of the new her up in my mind.

Scrubbing my hand across my face, I wonder if the shock made me overreact, and the changes she made really aren’t that drastic.

Tor keeps talking. “She wants her own identity, Ash. According to what Kenzi said, she wants to feel loved and wanted. You gotta remember, she’s falling in love with you now. She wants to feel loved now. To her, there is no before. I think that’s where you guys are bumping heads. You’re stuck on a past that doesn’t exist in her mind, and she’s tired of competing with it. And you’re stuck on her being who she used to be. It’s not gonna work like that.”

Groaning, I suck smoke out of the cigarette like it’s a lifeline. “I’m not stuck.”

“Wanna bet?”

Hard to admit, but a part of me knows he’s right. I just don’t know how to get unstuck.

“I guess I’m a little stuck,” I finally say, flicking ashes to the damp asphalt. “You just have no idea what this is like. Any of it.”

“You’re right. But I’m trying to help.”

“I know.”

“I’ll send you a bill next week.”

I laugh. “I’m sure you will.”

“What’re you gonna do? You coming home?”

A rat squeaks and scurries down the alley toward a dumpster, reminding me I don’t belong here.

“Not sure yet. I just want to think for a few minutes. I need time to calm down.”

“Alright. Call me if you need anything, and let us know if you plan to stay there so Kenzi doesn’t worry. And stop smoking.”

“You got it. Thanks, Tor.”

I end the call, and more text messages from Ember light up my screen.

I scroll past them and send a text to Kenzi: