The Wives

"Put the knife down Janine." She was going so fast I was afraid she'd hurt herself.

"Now!" I said it in such a way that she knew not to fuck with me.

Laying the knife down she spread her hands on either side of the cutting board head down.

"Look at me love."

She picked her head up, her face a storm cloud.

"Don't ever ask me that shit again, ever, now I repeat what is your problem?"

She huffed and folded her arms crossly.

"I didn't know when I agreed to this that it was going to be like this."

I held the bridge of my nose between my thumb and forefinger to try to ward off the headache I felt starting there.

"Like what?" Damn I didn't need this shit, I just wanted to come home spend a few hours with my kids, have dinner, fuck Marcy in the spa until she couldn't walk straight and get some sleep. I did not have time for this fuckery.

"You love them more than you do me."

Not this shit again, every once in a while Janine gets what I call the first wife blues, she starts thinking all kinds of crazy shit believing that I no longer love her, things that we've already been through over and over again; I don't know what else to do to reassure her to reassure them all that they each held a special place in my heart.

"Come here babe." She was being stubborn and took her time getting to me.

I pulled her in when she got close enough and kissed her hair; as much as I wanted to say fuck it I’m tired of going through this shit I couldn't take that route, I understood that each of these women had their moments, there were fears I'm sure, what if I woke up one day and decided this lifestyle wasn't for me after all? Marcy and Anna sometimes got pissed way the fuck off at the fact that Janine and I had an official marriage license while I simply exchanged vows with them. I'd conceded to take off the ring Janine had given me in favor of one they'd all chosen together. That had been a little rough going too but I saw the logic in it so that's that.

"Sweetie, you agreed to this yeah! Did I coerce you into doing something you didn't want to do?"

I squeezed her softly when she didn't answer me right away.

"I don't like feeling like a fifth wheel Brad, I didn't sign up for this."

"What are you talking about what fifth wheel?"

"I'm your wife I should know about these kind of things we have three kids to plan futures for if you're going to be spending that kind of money on her then I'd have to look out for their interests."

I had to take a minute to gather my thoughts together because as often as we'd been here before she'd never gone there. One because she knew I would never put up with shit talk like that and two because she was talking out of her ass.

I pushed her gently away from me, holding a tight reign on my temper, which was never a very pretty sight.

"You want to run that shit by me again?"

She couldn't or wouldn't look me in the eye and I didn't ask her to.

"I don't know if I want to do this anymore."

"What does that mean, do what?" Yeah this evening was turning out just dandy, that's what I get for having my mind on pussy all day long today.

"I want to go back to the way things were." She rung her hands as she looked up at me from beneath her lashes.

My heart didn't stop or anything that dramatic in fact quite the opposite happened; I have this strange phenomena that's been with me my whole life, when faced with certain things I go to a place of calm I get the sense that all will be well and I deal with whatever accordingly. That's what I was feeling right now, this was some sort of power play on her part and I didn't have to look too far to figure out where she got the gumption to say this shit to me. Her mother hated our lifestyle and though I'd never forbidden Janine to talk to her she wasn't allowed in my home around my kids. She'd had those privileges revoked the first time she'd spurned my son Jonathan because he was Marcy's; the fuck out of here, she must've lost her fucking mind.

"You want out I'll write you a check for five million, I'll have the funds ready by tomorrow morning." Her eyes flew open wide in fear as I made my way to the entrance between the kitchen and the rest of the house.

"That's it, that's all you have to say to me?"