I felt growing amazement that I could actually see her, feel her and smell her again when there were times when I thought that all hope was lost. It’s going to take me a minute for it to really sink in.
I wasn’t ashamed of the fresh tears that gathered in my eyes, or the way my heart finally felt whole and at peace now that I’d seen her beautiful face again in this lifetime.
I could feel the sun, could see color all around me when I couldn’t before, and hadn’t for a long time. And I was glad, so glad that I’d never given up hope, never stopped believing in her, in us.
Many had urged me to move on, to forget her and the special love we shared. After the first year I was the only one with any hope left. Now I’m glad that I had never given up on that hope. Thank fuck my mind and heart never once let go of her.
Her breath rattled in her lungs and scared the shit out of me. Life couldn’t be this fucking unfair could it? To bring her back to me only to take her away again.
Please don’t let her die. Not now that I’ve finally got her back. With renewed fear burning a hole in my gut I told myself that whatever this is, whoever was behind it I will deal with for sure, but right now nothing was more important than saving her life.
I raced the last few miles to the hospital with my heart in my throat as the elation I felt was now mixed with fear. I only relaxed when her breathing evened out again, holding my breath so I could hear hers over the beating of my heart.
I kept taking sneak peaks at her face as she laid still back there. Just to be able to look at her beautiful face again made me feel at peace for the first time in way too long.
As fear receded my mind was once again plagued by a million questions. Where had she been all this time? What the fuck had she been doing? Who had she been with?
That last one left me cold. If she’d been alive all this time, how had she been living? I never let myself imagine her in the arms of someone else while she was gone.
But now that she was here whole and alive I couldn’t help but wonder. My hands tightened on the wheel and I gritted my teeth to hold back the roar of rage as it built in my chest.
I fought back the anger before it could engulf me. Shouldn’t I just be happy that she was back? It’s what I’d wanted all along, what I’d hoped against hope for.
Sure I’m happy, but with that happiness comes anger at the unanswered questions. That was only fair. After all it hadn’t only been her life that had been affected by her disappearance.
We’d had a perfectly good life together, were planning to have a baby after one year of marriage. I’d been so in love with her it was stupid.
After years of never believing in happily ever after, after seeing the demise of one too many relationships, I’d found myself caught in that trap.
With her though, I’d put aside all of my prejudices. I’d fallen hard and fast and never looked back. I gave her my heart without question. It’s not like I had a choice.
Cade
From the first moment I laid eyes on her I was hers. For someone who never believed in happily ever after, or in love at first sight, it was like being struck by lightning.
And when we exchanged vows I knew down to my soul that they meant as much to her as they did me. I never doubted her love for me. Never doubted that we were one in the most perfect sense.
Our life together was damn near dreamlike. We spent every spare moment together, something that I would’ve thought would make me nuts, but truth be told, I was the one who needed her with me every second of every day.
We spent as much time making love as we did breathing. She could walk into a room, just minding her business and in the blink of an eye I’d be on her.
Her laughter is one of the things I loved most. That, and seeing her smile. I’d spent hours just wrapped up in her, blocking out the rest of the world, not giving a damn about anything or anyone else but my baby.
Then I came home one day to find her gone. I had no idea at first that anything was amiss, until she didn’t come home after dark and she wasn’t answering her phone. That was my first indication that something was very wrong. I could always reach her.