The Returned

We haven’t even so much as held hands and the girl has rebuffed me at every turn, and yet, I didn’t feel like I could give up on her, on us. Not just yet.

It was strange feeling this way, even stranger being the one doing the chasing. Maybe that was part of the appeal. It was a completely different experience being the hunter instead of the hunted.

Somehow I didn’t think she was stringing me along as part of some kind of game. She didn’t have an ounce of artifice in her spectacular little body, and some days I was even tempted to think she was an innocent.

Near as I can tell she’s never had a real serious relationship. She had friends, some who wanted to be more than that and I was keeping a close eye on them, the little shit stains.

But from all indications the girl was serious about her education and saw relationships as an unnecessary distraction at this time in her life.

If she’d ever been with anyone it would’ve been back in her hometown before she came here. And so far I couldn’t find any evidence of that.

I’d learned a lot of this by observing her, and some by asking the right questions of the right people. Most of what I learned only intrigued me all the more. While some of it made me want to take care of her; like the fact that she was alone in the world.

I come from a close, warm family, so the thought of my little orphan navigating the vagaries of life alone touches me deeply. If she’d give me a damn chance I could take care of that. But she refuses to bend.

She’s focused and driven. All traits a man like myself admire, especially in someone so young. When I was her age I was doing pretty much the same, but I wouldn’t swear that I had the same goal oriented focus back then.

I snapped out of my reverie when she reached me and glared at the men seated at the surrounding tables who were giving her rear end appreciative looks.

“Your club salad sir.” She slid the dish in front of me and stepped back to give me the usual spiel. “Is there anything else I can get you?”

“Yes, your number.” This time I got a slight smile with the headshake before she walked away. There is hope after all. Usually she just glares and makes a hasty retreat.

I ate the salad that I wasn’t really hungry for and sipped my water while keeping my eye on her. Not for the first time I noticed her coworkers eyeing me.

I’m sure I am the topic of many a conversation around here these days, since I didn’t go out of my way to hide my interest.

I watched her as she approached a new table, saw the way she smiled at the occupants and realized that it was no different to the one she gave me.

For some odd reason that realization gave me pause. Was it really worth making an ass of myself over this girl? I’d built her up in my head because of her refusal, but was she really worth it?

What am I really doing here? Why am I chasing after a woman that obviously doesn’t want to be caught? Had I become so full of myself that I couldn’t take no for an answer?

Was it so hard to believe that she really wasn’t interested? Maybe she really wanted nothing to do with me like she’s been saying.

Or maybe she’d heard of my reputation and was wary of getting hurt. She strikes me as the cautious type. My thoughts gave me pause and left a sour feeling in my gut.

I pushed the plate with the half eaten salad aside as I assessed my actions of the past month. It was sobering to realize that at no time had she ever given me any encouragement.

She laughed at something one of the men at the table said and I felt real anger at her. She’d never laughed with me like that. Never been that carefree in my presence.

Feeling sick of myself I threw a few bills down next to my plate and got up from the table and left. I didn’t look around to see if she had noticed my departure, I told myself I’d finally got the message.

I refused to acknowledge that it was jealousy fueling my anger as I strode towards my car promising myself never to step foot in that place again.

I was so damn mad I wanted to put my fist through something. Preferably the face of the man she’d been laughing with. How dare she?

I was halfway to my car when I heard running feet coming up behind me. I kept going until I reached my car and turned when the steps kept coming just behind me.