“What happened to you baby? Open your eyes and talk to me.” I’ve been saying that same thing or a variation for the last few hours with no luck.
Whatever they’d had her on had taken it all out of her. Who knows how long it had been since she’d last had a good night’s sleep.
She seemed so still lying there that I kept checking to make sure she was still breathing. Scared out of my mind that something might go wrong and I’d lose her forever.
I didn’t know that having her back would be like this. That the real fear would start now. I’d expected to be happy, grateful.
I felt both those things, but there was a new underlying fear in my gut that I was afraid won’t be going away anytime soon.
What if it happens again? What if whoever had taken her comes back? And how can I prevent such a thing from happening again? How can you defend yourself from an unknown enemy?
I spent the next hour or so making plans in my head. Plans to protect her and keep her safe. I’ll have to rearrange my life but she’s more than worth it. Even if I have to keep her with me twenty-four seven for the next fifty damn years so be it.
No way in hell was anyone getting that close to her again. I’d give up my life to keep her safe from harm. And no matter what it takes, I’m going to find the ones responsible and make them pay.
Now that she was back and relatively safe I could let myself think of all the things I’d pushed aside for the last two years. All the things I wouldn’t let myself face. The fears that had haunted me until I wanted to eat a bullet.
Now I could accept the blame for not taking better care of her. As a man of means I shouldn’t have let her be as free with her movements as I had back then.
But how was I to know that my money would endanger her life? There were other wealthy people in the city and I’d never heard of such a thing happening to any of them.
Sure there’ve been kidnapping attempts on other people in the past, but that usually stemmed from some personal vendetta or something of the sort.
I didn’t live my life that way, never crossed anyone without a cause and tried to be fair in all my dealings. So why had we been dealt this hand?
Who could hate me this much that they’d tried to destroy our lives like this? I’m almost certain this wasn’t done because of her or anything she’d done. So that left only me!
I played around with the idea that maybe it really was a baby snatch, but that made no sense. She wasn’t even showing the day she was taken. No one knew she was carrying my child.
So no one would’ve taken her for that reason. Besides, don’t they usually do that shit when the woman is nearing her due date? Sick fucks!
From the research I did while sitting here I knew that was usually done by an acquaintance and she didn’t know anyone that I didn’t. No one twisted enough to pull some shit like this.
No matter how I looked at it, nothing was coming together for me. Nothing made any sense, not least of all the fact that she was here now. How had she escaped? Was someone even now looking for her? And how can I keep her safe?
I always come back to that same question. That and what had happened to my kid? The latter I’m trying hard not to dwell on too much because the pain was unbearable.
Until I have more information and can get started on my search, thoughts of him or her and where they are is like pouring lava on my soul. It’s only making me nuts.
Sitting here twiddling my thumbs while I wait is about the hardest thing in the world to do. It’s like being dragged back to the beginning of my own personal hell all over again.
But no matter how I shied away from thoughts of my child for my own peace of mind, my mind and heart kept taking me back there. I finally have my woman back but this shit is far from over.
As to keeping her safe I have a few ideas about that. The free spirited girl I know would kick up a fuss at what I plan to do, but there was no help for it. Besides, for all I know this experience could’ve changed her in ways I don’t know yet.
How can it not? She must be terrified. Does she blame me as much as I blame myself? In those two years while she was trapped in whatever nightmare this is, did she regret loving me?