The whispers were starting to penetrate as I made my way, but no one approached for which I was eternally grateful.
For all my bravado, I wasn’t quite ready to jump right in at the starting gate. It usually takes me some time to warm up.
I guess it stems from never being sure from one town to the next if this was it. If this was the place we were finally going to settle down in.
The counselor was nice enough and helpful, if a little chatty. But I guess that’s to be expected from an elderly lady who’ve spent her whole life in the same small town, knew everyone including my parents and could share stories about their misguided youth.
“Well now, Pete and Anna went and produced themselves a right beauty now didn’t they?”
I was back to hiding behind my hair again as I was sure she was just being nice. No one has ever accused me of being beautiful before and I knew for a fact that it wasn’t true.
Except maybe to a seventy-year old grandmotherly type who obviously needed the glasses she wore and could probably do with a new prescription. However, good manners called for an acknowledgement of the compliment misguided though it was.
“Thank you ma’am.” She beamed at my answer as she passed my class schedule and timesheet over the desk.
“And fine manners too, that ought to be a change around here.” She studied me for the longest while as if measuring her next words.
“It was a real shame what happened to your family, the news hit us hard here. They were good people your grandma and grandpa…” She broke off, maybe at the look on my face.
“My grandparents?” There was a rushing sound in my ears and my head grew light.
I felt sick to my stomach, like I was about to keel over, and something foul crept up my throat as darkness threatened to overtake me.
“Oh I’m so sorry, you didn’t know. Never mind me dear just my mouth running away with me.” She took my hand and that seemed to pull me back from the abyss. Her eyes were worried as she studied my pale face and drawn look.
“Are you okay dear should I call someone? I didn’t mean to give you a scare.”
“No it’s okay I’m okay.” I felt strange and a million questions were rolling through my head.
As far as I know I had no grandparents. Dad’s parents had died back in the Soviet Union years ago when he was a little boy and he’d been adopted by a family in the U.S. Mom never mentioned hers and I don’t think I’d ever bothered to ask after I got older.
She sniffed as she went back to her papers and I sidled out of the office more than a little confused. With my usual knack for putting things out of my mind I pushed it away for now. I’ll have to remember to ask dad at some point though.
By the time I reached my classroom door I’d already forgotten about it, I had more important things to deal with this morning. Like how I was going to get through yet another first day as the new girl.
The first class of the day was algebra. Whoever thought it was a good idea to tackle quadratic equations at eight in the morning had to be seriously twisted.
Of course I’m an ace at algebra, in fact I’m what you might call a nerd. But I’ve learned from years of experience during the lean years, when Anna moved us from state to state looking for the next sure thing, uprooting me from the new school that I’d just barely got used to; that the natives didn’t take kindly to the new girl showing off her skills.
I found a seat near the window and prayed that no one saw me, that the teacher wasn’t one of those stand up and introduce yourself types.
My heart was beating uncontrollably fast as I waited for the others to file in so I could get that first experience out of the way until the next class, where I’d have to do it all over again.
The need to bite into my fingers was strong but I’d kicked that habit just lately and didn’t wish to start again. Instead I bit into the corner of my bottom lip nervously.
I got the usual stares that were to be expected, some longer than others, but of course I kept my head stuck in my book, which I’d opened on my desk.
There were a few murmurs as people passed, but no one said anything directly to me.
I heard the whispers but ignored them; until and unless someone spoke directly to me I was going to pretend to be invisible.
Maybe I ought to work on my social skills; hiding behind a book was no way to meet new people. But I’d have to work on that another day; I had enough on my plate for now.