Then he did that thing he does to my neck that makes me lose consciousness once.
***
In the morning, I awoke feeling, well rested, refreshed and...confused? I could still smell him.
It was as if his scent had permeated my skin somehow. The smell made me light headed and tingly, especially between my thighs and my nipples.
I was almost afraid to wash because I didn’t want it to go away. In the end I gave in and took a shower and washed my hair, but was pleasantly surprised to find that his scent was still there.
“You look flushed Jazz you sure you feeling okay? You’re not coming down with something are you?”
Dad looked at me with a worried frown as I sat at the breakfast table. I ducked my head quickly so he couldn’t read anything on my face.
I’m sure it was all written there for the world to see. Not to mention the fact that I had a new little gift from last night hidden beneath my ear.
It wasn’t as easy to find that one, but some compulsion had led me to run my fingers over the spot and I knew it was there, because of the way my body reacted when the tip of my finger grazed it.
“I’m fine dad, I think I made my shower a little too hot this morning that’s all.”
He seemed happy enough with that answer and changed the subject to school and how I was fitting in.
I tried to relax as I sat there, but the whole time I kept expecting him to say ‘what’s that smell’? He never said a word about it though, and I was soon out the door, sweaty palms, racing heart and all.
I caught a few glimpses of him that day, but there was no contact. It left me feeling empty and sad. Why was he toying with me?
How could he leave me in such a state of confusion and go about his business as if he hadn’t disrupted my very existence?
Even his sister seemed to be keeping her distance, and I even missed her weird little interludes. Somehow they made me feel closer to him.
I was getting just a little ticked off by end of day Wednesday. I’m not usually the most assertive being on the planet, but somehow I felt like I needed to take a stand.
He was toying with me somehow and I didn’t like it one bit. I refuse to be a pushover any longer. With that thought set firmly in my mind I decided I was going to put him and everything to do with him out of my mind.
I had a quiet evening home alone while dad worked the overnight shift. I was too mad to pay much attention to the moaning of the house or the wind in the trees outside.
Every time I was tempted to go look out the window to see if he was there, I’d occupy myself with something else.
I might be a novice when it comes to matters of the heart, but I knew that this constant turmoil couldn’t be good for me.
If he were truly interested he would’ve said something by now wouldn’t he? And what did I have to go on so far anyway?
A cryptic phone-call, a few run-ins in the hallway at school and him following me home to make sure I was safe? What did all of that really tell me anyway?
I still had no answers when I headed up to bed that night. I was almost tempted to stay awake so that he wouldn’t follow me into my dreams, but that was easier said than done.
The lure was too great; if I could only feel his touch, his nearness in my dreams, then I was willing to settle for that, for one last night at least.
He was there almost as soon as I had fallen asleep. Tonight things were a little different though. He laid down beside me, drawing me into his arms, holding me close so I could feel the beat of his heart.
“My little Jazzy.” Something opened inside me then, but just as I reached for it, it closed.
“Kiss me Thorn.” I don’t know where I got the nerve to say that, but it’s almost as if I had a point to prove.
When he avoided my mouth and instead kissed just the corners of my lips, I tried to stifle the disappointment that rose up inside me.
I couldn’t quite hold back the tears though, or maybe he was just so in tuned with me somehow that he sensed them in the dark.
“No Lyubov moya, don’t.” He kissed my tears away, licking them with his tongue, before drawing me in closer and covering my head with his hand as he held it against his chest. “It’s going to be okay baby, just give me some time.”