And all those things he said last night, will he still mean them in the cold light of day? Or will they fade now that things were back to normal?
I had all these questions and uncertainties plaguing me as I realized that we were going back to reality. Those few days with just the two of us had been magic, now it was over and I wasn’t sure if I was ready to face whatever comes next.
"Did you sleep well lyubof?" He took my bag and my hand as he walked me to his waiting car. My hand tingled where his palm met mine, but I didn’t have time to ponder the strange phenomena. There were eyes on us this morning after all.
Dad stood in the doorway watching us, suspiciously I bet, but after a gruff ‘good morning’ the two hadn’t said much more to each other.
"Yes thank you and you?"
I was extremely nervous for some unknown reason, which made no sense at all. We'd spent the last few days practically in each other's pockets and now I felt out of my depth again.
Even when he’d been being all- mysterious, and I hardly knew him, I don’t recall being this nervous in his presence.
I think this level of uncertainty stemmed from what happened in that bathtub. Not so much our dalliances in my dreams, those could be written off as fantasy, but the bath had been all too real.
My whole body went up in flames at the memory and I had to clear my suddenly dry throat.
"I missed being with you, I’ve grown accustomed to having you near these last few days, so I didn't get much sleep." He let me go long enough to open my door for me, and seat me, even going so far as to buckle me in.
That somehow warmed me all over and I started to relax with the biggest cheesiest grin on my face.
"Good." I teased him as he slid into the driver’s seat.
"It's good that I had a restless night?" He teased back as he ran his hand down my hair before giving it a gentle tug.
"No, it's good you missed me, I missed you too.” He made as if to kiss me but pulled himself back at the last second. I felt the disappointment in my soul.
He reached for my hand with his instead and I felt that zing again. It was almost like an electrical charge that ran from the place where we touched, up my arm and down through the rest of my body.
A peek at him out the corner of my eye didn’t show any change in his demeanor, so I didn’t know if he felt the same thing.
I fretted for a moment about what the day might hold. I could not put a name to it, but there was definitely something different between us this morning.
I took comfort from his hand on mine, and the feeling of security it gave. Just as quickly as the feeling of comfort came, it was taken away.
In its place was a darkness that was seen out the windows of the car. He felt it too because his hand moved in mine before his jaw tightened and he took his hand from mine so that he could steer the car with both of his.
I felt the fear from my dreams here, felt them rising up inside me, “be still Milaya, all is well.” Another look at his face showed him to be angry but trying to hide it.
“What’s going on?” I felt hunted, the sound of wings beat outside the window, but when I looked, expecting some great bird, there was nothing but darkness and a strong wind.
“It’s nothing baby, just the wind.” He took my hand again as the wind beat against the car, battering it as though it weighed nothing.
But his words calmed me and when he lifted my hand to his lips everything else disappeared.
My heart still raced with some unknown fear but his nearness and reassurance seemed to have a very calming affect on me and I was able to release the breath I’d been holding.
Outside there was still a menacing dark cloud above the car, but the wind no longer seemed so, threatening.
It was then I remembered where I’d heard that wind before, at night, outside my bedroom window. That wind has been blowing in just that way since I came here.
That can’t be normal can it? How could the wind make the exact same sounds like that?
I came out of my reverie when I felt his lips on mine. It was brief, he was driving after all, but it was enough to clear every thought from my head. So that by the time we pulled onto the school grounds I had all but forgotten what had spooked me in the first place.