“What is it, what’s happened, is that...”
“Yes it is.” I kept going because now was not the time for introductions. I’d brought her here for protection, with my enemies upping the stakes it would be stupid of me not to.
I laid her across my bed and sat next to her. She was gone away in her head, somewhere far from me. “Open your eyes malysh, please, for me.” I whispered the words urgently as she laid still as a stone.
Mom came in with a tray but I didn’t pay any attention, my eyes were focused on her for any sign. She looked so still and small, vulnerable.
The memory of Mina being that close to her made my blood run cold. I’d been working so hard ever since I brought her home to avoid just that happening, though I knew it was a chance I’d have to take.
Just a few more days and this would’ve all been over. I closed my eyes, begging for a brief moment of peace.
She made a sound of distress in her sleep, but still she did not stir. As my mother left the room, it gave me a chance to reflect, to go back in my mind to where this all started, before either of us were even born.
The memories were too much as always, and I walked across the room to the tray where I was sure mom had left her cure all. I was a tad surprised to see the amber colored liquid instead of clear.
I threw back the scotch and placed the glass gently back on the bedside table, because I wanted to fling it into the fireplace until it shattered into a thousand pieces.
Moving back to the bed I touched her, the way I always need to whether she’s near or far. I’ve tried so hard to protect her, to spare her this. My poor baby, her life...
Now she has remembered, but not in the way I wanted. Now she had only the darker side of it and I must wait until she awakens before I can tell her all of it.
Her heart, that organ that beat in her chest, but that I can map with my own, was hurting. This for me was unacceptable.
She had known enough pain, I can’t...”Wake up Jasmine, open your eyes and look at me.” Nothing.
“Son what can we do?” My mother had returned without my notice and the sun, what little there had been of it, was now gone completely.
“There’s nothing, she’s not ill, her body just refuses to awaken because her mind remembers. Her heart is hurt, because for her she’s three years old again and has awakened to horror, and I wasn’t there.”
“But you were a boy, surely she can’t blame you for that, how could she?”
“Because I promised.”
“Oh come on, I’m sure she’ll understand that there was nothing you could’ve done...”
“How is it mother that you know our history and you cannot understand this? Jasmine and I are not like others; had I not left her they would never have dared.”
“But you were so young, and you didn’t even know of your strengths then. I’m sure when she wakes up, and you’ve had a chance to talk, she will be very understanding.
I looked down at her on my bed, the place where I’ve imagined her a thousand times. Even now, with her in that state, my body still reacted.
It was no use telling it not to, she’s the one woman that can overpower all my training, and that, without any effort on her part. She only has but to breathe and I am hers.
There was a lot to be done now, not least of all was telling her father this fantastical story of our lives and why our paths had crossed, but I wanted to tell her first. I also had to go hunt my enemies, but how could I leave her like this?
I wanted to be here when she first opens her eyes, so that I can answer all her questions, hold her as she relives the horror of her childhood.
She stirred and I sat on the bed next to her, willing her to come back to me. The silent tears that fell from beneath her closed lids tore at my heart, and I bit into the flesh of my hand so as not to cry out.
“You may go now mother.” I waited until she left the room, to lie down beside Jasmine and draw her into my arms.
Her body was still and cold, so cold. I tried rubbing warmth back into her arms and back as I held her as close to my heart as possible.
With all that I am, the one thing I cannot do, is take away her pain. I would gladly give up all I have, all that I am, to carry her pain in myself so that she never has to.