Buttons and Lace (Buttons 1)

My stomach clenched like I’d been stabbed. I remembered the greasy man who came to the apartment looking for Jacob. He said Jacob owed him money. I brushed it off at the time, assuming it was just a mistake or Jacob lost a hundred bucks in a round of poker. But now it made sense. Everything started adding up, justifying the story Crow told me.

I crossed my arms over my chest and felt the humiliation stick to me like humidity. This entire time, I battled my guilt for my relationship with Crow. I agreed to our arrangement just so I could go home and return to my life. But now I understood there was no life waiting for me at home. Jacob never got another job. He used the money he’d been paid to take me to the Bahamas with the intention of leaving me there.

Oh, god.

I covered my mouth as tears burned deep in my heart. They didn’t start in the back of my eyes like they usually did. They seeped from my broken soul.

Crow watched me. His anger faded and sadness replaced it. “I didn’t want to tell you.”

I didn’t want his pity. It was written all over his face. To him, I was a stupid girl who believed stupid things. My own boyfriend betrayed me for some cash. When he was at his lowest point, I stood beside him. But when he hit hard times, he immediately turned on me. He sold me to a group of traffickers, knowing exactly what would happen to me.

And he did it anyway.

Heartbreak couldn’t describe what I felt.

Betrayal couldn’t describe it either.

There was nothing in any human language that could describe the agony ripping me apart from the inside out. To any onlooker, I just looked quiet. But inside, I was crumbling apart. All my strength to survive and return home had vanished. Jacob was the only family I had. Now there was no reason to go home. There was nothing waiting for me.

I turned to the door because I needed to get out of there. I couldn’t handle Crow’s pity a second longer. I hated the reflection of my pain in his eyes. All I wanted to do was leave—and never come back.

“Button.” His gentle voice steadied me, but only for a second.

I left the bedroom without looking back. My feet carried me to the entrance and out the front doors. My body couldn’t handle the pain deep in my gut. I didn’t know how to digest this kind of agony. It was worse than everything I experienced with Bones. I’d gladly take imprisonment over this.

I couldn’t see well in the dark, so I stumbled through the night. I knew I reached the vineyards when I felt the leaves brush against me. I followed the dirt path down the rows, walking in a straight line. When I was away from the house and finally alone, I felt the tears slip from my eyes.

I fell to my knees in the middle of the fields and sobbed where no one could hear me. I gave in to my broken heart and let everything pour out. I thought I hit rock bottom when I became a slave. But I knew I really hit rock bottom when there was nothing waiting for me back at home. My parents were too busy with drugs and alcohol to care about the police taking me away. My own boyfriend who I lived with sold me for a paycheck. I had nobody.

I was nobody.

***

The sprinklers turned on and splashed my face with frigid water. My eyes immediately opened as my hair and clothes became drenched. I sat up and felt the drops slide down the bridge of my nose.

The sun just peeked over the hills, basking the valley with an orange sun. The night had passed, but the darkness stayed behind. I cried myself to sleep and felt my eyes go dry while the agony still settled in my heart.

I’d never broken down before, not quite like that. When I woke up, I hoped last night was just a nightmare. But seeing the fields surrounding me told me it was nothing but the harsh truth.

I rose to my feet and walked along the row, still wet from the sprinklers. My clothes were soaked and sticking to my body. My hair clung to the back of my neck. My feet were bare, so the soil got stuck between my toes.

I walked back to the house, knowing Crow would have left for work by now. I wouldn’t have to deal with him or his pathetic looks of pity. Lars would probably eye me with disdain as I tracked mud all over the house.

But I couldn’t care less right now.

I walked to my bedroom on the second floor and flinched when I saw Crow sitting there. He wasn’t dressed in a suit, and his hair wasn’t combed. He wore the same thing he’d worn the night before. He clearly hadn’t moved all night.