Buttons & Hate (Buttons 2)

I would protect her at all costs.

I hadn’t slept because it was too difficult to close my eyes. I was afraid she might need something. What if she woke up but I wasn’t awake to comfort her? And I knew the nightmares would descend the second I closed my eyes. “Button, keep fighting.” I held her hand like always, wanting her to feel the warm of my skin against her ice fingers. “You’re going to pull through this. I know you are.”

***

It’d been four days since she was admitted to the hospital and there still wasn’t a sign of life. Her bruises hadn’t faded and she still looked like hell swallowed her then spit her back out.

What if she never woke up?

My phone rang in my pocket.

I answered it without looking at the name. “What?”

“It’s Lars, sir.”

“What?” I repeated. I didn’t have the ability to put on a face. I didn’t have the ability to be polite. Everything died within me.

“I just wanted to let you know that Cane just checked out of the hospital.”

He was alive? “Oh.”

“I thought you might like to know.”

If he came here I’d shoot him again—and this time I wouldn’t miss. “Thank you, Lars. How are things at the house?”

“Good. Everyone is okay. We just hope Miss Pearl comes home soon.”

Pearl. It was a beautiful name, one that I never used. “She will. She’ll pull through.” My thumb moved over her knuckles.

“Is there anything I can get you, sir?”

“No.”

“Okay. I’ll be on standby, sir.”

I hung up and shoved the phone into my pocket.

Cane would be stupid to fuck with me right now. I shot him in the arm so I meant business. If he crossed me again I’d make sure that bullet went into his head. Family or not, he shouldn’t have messed with me.

Button suddenly took a deep breath and her eyes opened. She stared straight ahead, the light from the window making her eyes wince. She took another deep breath and her pulse quickened under my fingertips.

Shocked that she was awake, I forgot to speak. “He’s gone. You’re safe.”

She turned to me and narrowed her eyes on my face. She stared at me for several heartbeats, processing her memories and reality at the same time. Her hand moved to her chest and she felt her skin, needing to make sure it wasn’t a dream.

She made it through.

“Crow?”

“Button, I’m here.” I held her hand in both of mine, thankful she was still on this earth. She was still beaten beyond recognition but I recognized her beautiful blue eyes. They looked into mine countless times.

My body reacted in a way I couldn’t anticipate. Tears sprang into my eyes, hot moisture that came from nowhere. They filled my eyes at the sight of her. My sister didn’t make it but she did. I couldn’t handle another corpse in my arms. I couldn’t handle burying another innocent woman. I couldn’t lose someone else...that I cared so much for. “I’m so fucking sorry.”

She didn’t hide her surprise at the tears in my eyes. Her hand reached up and touched my cheek. Her thumb slowly moved to the corner of my eye, the unfailing tear sticking to the pad of her thumb.

I wasn’t ashamed of my emotion. It was the first time I showed it. It reminded me that I was human, that I wasn’t made of solid stone. I had a heart that still worked. Just when I thought nothing was left she filled me with something new—she filled me with hope.

“I hate myself.” I kissed her hand then rested it against my cheek, needing to feel the distant pulse to remain calm. “I hate myself for letting this happen to you.” I kissed her hand again and closed my eyes, steeling my resolve and controlling my composure.

“It wasn’t your fault...” Her voice cracked from not speaking for days.

“Yes, it is.” There was no point in sugarcoating it. “I broke my promise to you.”

“Crow...” She was too weak to speak normally. Normally, her mouth went off a million miles a minute. But now it was slow and quiet. Her lips were chapped from sleeping for so long. “It’s okay.”

“It’ll never be okay.” I’ll never get over this. I’ll never forgive myself for letting this happen. I’ll never forgive my brother for doing this. He beat her so viciously, worse than Bones ever did to her.

“Is Cane dead?”

“No.” I was embarrassed to say otherwise. “I shot him but he just left the hospital.”

“Oh...” She couldn’t hide her disappointment.

“He won’t come near you again. Don’t worry about him.” It was hard to look her in the eye when her face was demolished with bruises. It physically pained me to see it. Not because she looked different—but because she was still in immense pain.

“Can I leave?”

I wasn’t going to make her stay with me. The buttons didn’t matter anymore. She’d been through enough. If she wanted to walk away I wouldn’t stop her. “You’re free to go whenever you wish.” I thought she was safe with me but I quickly learned how incompetent I was.