Buttons and Pain (Buttons 3)

“I need to ask you something.”

“Okay.” I met his look.

“Did you sleep with him out of obligation?”

The assumption stung. “Of course not. I did it because I wanted to.” That wasn’t the answer he wanted to hear but I wouldn’t lie to make him feel better. “Two months is a long time to go without some physical contact.”

Crow looked away, clearly annoyed by the answer.

“You have no right to feel jealous. If you slept with someone it wouldn’t bother me.”

He closed his eyes in the form of a cringe. “Not even a little?”

“No.”

“Not after everything we’ve been through together? You wouldn’t feel a damn thing?”

I cocked my head to the side and examined him with new eyes. “I told you I loved you.” The emotion entered my voice without any warning. I felt the words burn all the way out. My eyes watered with tears that emerged from nowhere and I felt the excruciating pain all over again. “And you said you didn’t feel the same way. That was when I understood you were never mine. That’s when I understood the true nature of our relationship. So, no. Crow, I don’t give a damn if you sleep with anyone.”

***

I grabbed my bag from the couch. “I’m going back to my apartment.”

He leaned against the wall with his arms across his chest. “Why?”

“There’s no point in me staying here.”

He slowly walked to me and pulled the backpack out of my hand. “I disagree.”

I extended my hand. “I don’t care.”

He set the backpack on the other couch. I could only get to it if I moved through him.

“Fine. One button.” I wasn’t working for free. If he wanted something from me, he had to work for it.

His eyebrows narrowed at my request. “No.”

“Then I’m leaving.” He could keep the bag if he wanted it so badly. I had other stuff at my apartment.

Crow realized he had to play the game or forfeit. “One button.”

“Deal.” I extended my open palm. I wanted those buttons as soon as possible so this could end. I had to guard my heart tightly this time. Last time, he stole it without me even realizing it. I was in a better state of mind but I wanted to keep it that way.

He fished the button out of his pocket and dropped it into my hand.

Once I had the token of payment I walked to my backpack and placed it in one of the pockets. One down and twenty-nine more to go. We couldn’t have sex so I wasn’t sure why he wanted me to spend the night. If he planned on seducing me into sleeping with him anyway, he was going to be disappointed.

“Have dinner with me.” He came up behind me and pressed his chest into my back. “There’s this nice place just down the block.”

Once I felt him against me, my breathing hitched. With every breath his chest expanded against me. I started to count the number of times he took a breath. I used to do the same thing when he was asleep. I’d stare at his handsome face and count his heartbeats. “I don’t have anything to wear.”

He wrapped his arm around my waist and pressed a kiss to the back of my neck. “I have something for you.”

***

Crow ordered the wine and our entrees before he handed the menus over. He wore a black suit with a teal tie. The color of his tie always concentrated against the other dark colors he wore. It was his signature move, making him stand out more than he already did.

I couldn’t believe I was sitting across from him.

Two months without a single conversation was a long time. When I first came to the city I felt alone. Living in his beautiful house with a care in the world was the most freeing experience of my life. Falling in love with a man who fixed me after I’d been broken was the only thing that put me back together. Without him, I would have been screwed up for the rest of my life.

But I would never admit that to him.

Weakness wasn’t my strong point and it was a side of myself I rarely showed. The last time I allowed it to happen, Crow broke my heart. I opened myself to him completely and said three little words I wish I could take back. It was one of the most humiliating moments of my life.

“You look beautiful tonight.” He stared at me with a gaze that was both intense and frozen. His eye contact never broke, and he stared at me with both hostility and interest. It was his form of intimidation—and it always worked. I noticed both he and Cane did it anytime they walked into a room. Perhaps it was a Barestti thing.

“Thank you.” I didn’t give him a compliment in return because he already knew he was beautiful—and deadly. And he knew exactly how attracted to him I was. “How’s Lars?”