A Million Different Ways (Horn Duet 1)

I stared into his expectant eyes and searched for words to make him understand that this was moving too quickly for me. I needed time to think, to sort out my feelings… to measure the costs. Inexorably, he was pulling me into waters I had no idea how to navigate. So I did the only thing I knew was right. Taking his beautiful face into my hands, I told him how I felt.

“I love you––”

“Which part?”

His voice was so quiet it took me a while to realize what he was asking. Something soft and vulnerable flashed in his eyes. He waited patiently for me to answer, the value of which was apparent in his expression.

“I love the part that’s kind, and gentle, and selfless. The part that’s cool, and commanding, and capable. The part that’s burning with intelligence. The part that’s thoughtful and funny. I also love the part that’s rash, and high handed, and rude some times. I love every part of you…in a million different ways.”

A dark flush stretched across his high cheekbones.

“So much has changed so quickly,” I added, forging ahead. “I need some time to adjust. Please, Sebastian.”

Even though the water coming down in buckets from the pan shaped shower head was steaming hot, my entire body trembled uncontrollably. The sight of me wrapping my arms around myself snapped him out of deep thought. He turned the water off and pulled me out of the shower. His love filled eyes didn’t leave mine for a second while he covered me in a soft, white robe that was much too big.

“Okay––” he replied in that raspy timbre that had become an addiction.

I exhaled a major sigh of relief. This was progress. He rarely conceded anything. He rubbed my back, my arms, while he stood before me dripping wet and looking absurdly sexy.

“I’ll give you a week to come to terms with it.”

Well––baby steps. It was four more days than I had gotten last time.

* * *

The rest of the staff was already treating me differently and it rankled––everyone except Mrs. Arnaud, Charlotte, and Bentifourt, who particularly never missed an opportunity to dispense a heavy dose of condescension and snobbery. Things were changing quickly and it seemed that there wasn’t anything I could do to slow it down to a speed I was comfortable with. There was still so much unsettled, so much at stake.

I was in the middle of scrubbing a particularly stubborn scuff mark on the walnut floors when the image of Sebastian in the shower skipped through my mind. I schooled the grin that seemed to spread easily on my face lately. Coupled with the stars in my eyes, I looked like I was suffering from either a concussion or a bad case of idiocy.

The possessiveness in Sebastian’s expression wasn’t about ego. It was born out of fear. He guarded me as he would guard his own heart. I couldn’t blame him; love made me feel vulnerable, too. It was no mystery that his insecurities were a result of being raised by a woman that did worse than neglect her only child. She was around just long enough to teach him that love was painful and nothing good came out of trusting women.

However, I still couldn’t figure out his relationship with his dead wife. His confession about never having been in love before had shocked me. I was still grappling with it. So why did he marry her? Sebastian was not a social creature by nature. Like the tiger he resembled, he was solitary, self-contained. Something about it bothered me, though I was too much of a coward to ask him about it. I was afraid of what I might discover.

By early afternoon he had texted, informing me that he had arranged for Gideon to drive me in so he could take me shopping, adding in the text not to waste his time objecting or I would get spanked for it later. I was sitting in the Mercedes, outside his building, when Gideon received a phone call. “What do you have for me?” he asked in French, his clipped voice indicating it was important. “Is he willing to deal? …I can send a man to Lyon first thing tomorrow.”

Sebastian opened the door, and for a brief moment a flicker of something that resembled doubt appeared on his face, a peculiar distrust of what he witnessed with his own eyes. I love you desperately… you sweet, beautiful man. He slid in next to me and my body succumbed to the gravitational pull of his much larger one. A moment later I was being kissed senseless. Any embarrassment I had about Gideon’s presence was easily forgotten.

“I just heard from my contact.” Gideon’s unique accent pierced the lust filled bubble surrounding us. Sebastian’s eyes narrowed as they connected with Gideon’s in the rear view mirror. “We have a lead,” Gideon continued.