A very uncomfortable feeling descends upon me as they both watch me. Standing before all that perfect DNA makes me, for the first time in my life, feel like a troll. I smile tightly even though every cell in my body screams for me to leave the room.
“Calvin Reginald Shaw, are you gonna just stand there and stare, or are you gonna introduce us?” She has a heavy southern accent, which only adds to her hotness…naturally.
Reginald?
Reginald smiles at me warmly. “Camilla, this is my pain in the rear end little sister, Amanda.”
The goofy smile he shines on me when he says this produces a clump of God knows what that lodges itself in my throat. Meanwhile, she beams adoration at him. There’s so much love between these two. That’s clear. A strange pang of jealousy hits me…maybe not jealousy, envy then?
“Nice to meet you,” I say while I place the pan I was about to wash in the sink. “Can I offer you anything to drink, or eat? We were just finishing up lunch.”
“Just water, thanks,” she says with her eyes glued to Sam’s back. I hide my face in the SubZero and grab a small bottle of Fiji for her.
“Sam, aren’t you going to say hi to your mom?” Calvin’s voice is gentle, thoughtful…and I’m pretty sure that I just fell deeper into love with him. Sam finishes the last bite of pasta and wipes his mouth on his paper napkin.
“May I please be excused?” He’s looking straight at me.
Oh crap. Quickly, I glance at Cal and he nods. Smiling, I say, “You’re excused.” Without a backward glance, Sam goes straight up the stairs. With a pained expression, my gaze meets Amanda’s, her’s wavering between concern and guilt.
“This is normal,” I offer, breaching the uncomfortable silence. “He just needs time to adjust…somebody should go talk to him.” Both Shaws stare back at me with matching blank expressions.
“You should,” Cal eventually says. I notice Amanda doesn’t object. Her gaze falls to the floor.
“Okay.” A second later I’m up the stairs and walking into the playroom. Sam is busy working on a new Lego creation. I plop down next to him and start separating pieces. We work for an hour in complete silence.
“Sam––” He looks up at me with nearly the same expression he wore when I first met him. This kid is every reason I want to be a parent. He’s stolen a huge chunk of my heart and because of this I can feel his pain as if it were my own. “I know it hurt when your mom had to go to the hospital and leave you. I know how scary that is…but remember what the doctor said? About her having an illness?”
He nods. “I know she’s sick.”
“She can’t help it. She doesn’t want to leave you, either.”
“How do you know?” He’s staring at a car he just put together, spinning the tiny rubber wheels over and over again.
“Because I know that everyone that gets to know you loves you very much, and it’s impossible not to miss someone you love.” My voice cracks on the last two words and Sam’s eyes connect with mine. “I know because I love you, and I’m going to miss you terribly when you go home…and I’ve only known you a short time. Imagine how your mom felt when she had to go away.” He stops spinning the wheels of the Lego car, his expression turning thoughtful. “She feels bad about it. Do you think you can try and talk to her, make her feel welcome?”
Sam nods and what’s left of my heart is pulverized into dust. My time here is done. The realization comes crashing down on my head. In a couple of days, these people that I love very much will no longer be part of my life. Another brutal loss. Never in a million years could I have predicted this happening to me again. Except this time, it may break me for good. At the very least, it’s going to hurt for a long, long time. Then again, this is my life, a regular barrel of laughs.
“She’s gorgeous,” I murmur into my cell phone. After we all had a very silent dinner together, I withdrew to my bedroom while Amanda helped Sam get ready for bed. It wouldn’t do to coddle him too much; he’s going to be leaving with his mother by the end of the week whether he’s ready or not. And he didn’t object when Amanda offered to do it. I guess that’s good…I’m sulking. I know I’m sulking.
“Like Shana level gorgeous?” Shana, an ex-friend who models. Ex because she dropped me like a bad habit while I was being investigated.
“Yeah, if Shana was ten times hotter. She’s like Cindy Crawford in her prime gorgeous, Angelina in Mr. and Mrs. Smith level gorgeous.”