Chapter One
Shelli
I can’t seem to catch my breath. Every single fiber of my being is vibrating with nerves. I feel the tension everywhere. My chest, my arms, my legs—I’m pretty sure my ass is shaking with excitement. I can’t believe I’m here. I’m really here.
In Aiden Brooks’s apartment building.
When Chris, my buddy, passes me a bottle of tequila, I take a long pull before passing it back, shuddering from the bitter liquid. I need it, though. I need the liquid courage to get me into this building. I run my hand down the long platinum blond braid of my wig. I didn’t want to wear my wig from the show, but Chris was in a rush to get here. We came straight from the theatre after our last performance. I washed my face free of the dramatic stage makeup, but I wish I’d had time to take this damn wig off. Chris convinced me it didn’t matter one way or another.
Being here, though, I find that it does matter to me. With each step I take, I regret my decision not to change. To be me, instead of the character I’ve played for the last six months. Not anymore, though, and as much as I want to be sad that my part in our show is over, I’m not. I had every opportunity to re-sign for another six months, but I decided not to. I’m done. I’m going home, and I am so damn excited.
I haven’t lived with my parents full time since I was sixteen. I know most girls wouldn’t be complaining, but I really do love my mom and dad. My siblings are okay on a good day, and I enjoy being with them. I miss them constantly, and I’m finally ready to go home. I need the distance from New York, I need to figure out who I am, what I want, and what my future holds. I am done with Broadway.
I know my mom is sad I’m quitting, but I don’t like who I am becoming here. I don’t feel happy, and I’m not living my life to my fullest. I feel like I’m just going with the flow, doing whatever my castmates do, and I don’t want that. I don’t want to develop a drug habit. I don’t want to sleep around or get drunk every night. I don’t need that stuff. I was good with who I was before I was exposed to this world. Don’t get me wrong. It’s been great, and I’ve made wonderful memories. The standing ovations have been intoxicating and the money has been awesome, but this doesn’t feel like my path anymore.
I want something more. I just have no clue what that is yet.
Tonight, though, I don’t have to worry yet about what the future holds. It’s my last night as a New Yorker, so I’m going to make it the best night ever. Because tomorrow, I head back home to my new reality. I want to say I’m scared, but I’m not. I’m stoked.
I bite my lip as I climb the stairs to the entrance with Chris. As animated as always, he is talking with his hands. “Are you sure you’ve gotta go?”
I don’t even look at him as I nod. He’s taller than me, way taller, and good-looking to some. I knew the moment I met him, though, that he would only be a friend. He didn’t get that memo, and he has begged me daily to date him. I don’t see him as boyfriend material. Even with his blond hair, green eyes, and beautiful jawline, he isn’t who I want. He isn’t the one I’ve been crushing on for most of my life. Which is probably why every guy I’ve ever met has not been boyfriend material. But now is not the time to evaluate that.
“Yeah, I’m ready for a change.”
“You’re turning your back on your art. You were made for the stage. You’re Elli Fisher’s daughter, for fuck’s sake.”
I smile at the use of my mom’s maiden name. I’m not sure anyone really remembers Elli Fisher. Even though she was one of the most amazing performers of her time, I don’t even think my mom misses her. Not once Elli Adler made her mark on the world as one of the best owners and general managers for the Nashville Assassins. My mom started making a name for herself when she was the youngest owner in NHL history. She’s always been ruthless and makes bold moves. She was one of the first owners to sign a woman and play her on the ice. She makes trades like no other, and she loves her players as if they were her kids. She’s absolutely phenomenal, and if I can be half the woman my mom is, I’m winning.
“I hear you, but I want more.”