Her eyes are filling with tears, gutting me. “So what? You’re just gonna push me away?”
“I don’t want to, but I don’t know how to tell you what I am feeling.”
“It’s easy. You open your mouth and tell me the truth.”
“I feel like every time I do, I fuck up.”
She shakes her head. “No, you come at me with some other bullshit. Instead of just telling me what you’re feeling, you jump on the defensive. Push me away. If you’d told me it freaked you out that I touched your stuff and fixed this place up, I wouldn’t have gotten so upset.”
“It didn’t freak me out,” I say quickly. “It just felt very intimate. Like we were a couple.”
“Because I thought we were! Or at least heading that way.”
“I couldn’t think like that.”
“Why? Aiden, that’s insane. I get the whole never having a girlfriend thing and not understanding what you’re feeling, but don’t push me away. Talk to me.”
I look away, shaking my head. “It’s hard when I really don’t think this can happen.”
“Then why the hell are we standing here talking about this?” she yells, tearing her hand from mine. “Why touch me? Look at me like I’m important—”
“Because you fucking are important, and I can’t not touch you. I need to,” I say, snaking my arm around her waist and pulling her against me. She presses her hands into my chest. “I do want you. I want you so bad. More than a fuck, so much more.”
Her brows are almost touching as she gazes up at me. “Aiden, you’re making no fucking sense.”
“You deserve someone better—”
“Oh, for the love of Pete, I know what I deserve. I am well aware, so please tell me the fucking truth.”
I swallow hard as I gaze down into her beautiful face. “No matter how much I want you, crave you, I know your parents won’t let this happen.”
“Why?” she asks incredulously. “Yes, my dad has the angina, but it’s all dramatics. They love you. I think they would be happy.”
“No, Shelli.”
“Why?”
My grip on her waist tightens. “Because of the fucking allegations against me.”
Her shoulders fall along with her hands as her eyes fill with compassion. “Aiden, you know that none of us believe that, right?”
“It doesn’t matter, Shelli. They know that I was accused of basically abusing that girl—”
“But you didn’t do it.”
Her faith in me is surprising but refreshing. “I didn’t. But they saw the bite marks on her, they saw the handprints on her throat—”
“And they’ve seen the ones you had, Aiden. It was rough sex gone wrong. She wanted more. She wanted to trap you. I know this, and so do my mom and dad.”
“But that’s not what Elli said. Your mom told me I had to keep my nose clean, trust the woman I’m with—”
“So you don’t get fucking screwed. Aiden, she wants to help you. No one believes you did those things. That girl said you peed on her. Bless, you shut the door when you go to the bathroom. Pretty sure you wouldn’t just piss on someone,” she stresses, and then she grabs my face. “Aiden, I know you didn’t do it. I get it. My parents make you nervous, but don’t let all that, the fact that you can’t deal with your feelings and your general fight-or-flight sense, ruin a good thing. We can be real good together if you give me a chance.”
I scoff. “I don’t have to give you a chance. You gotta give me one.” I cover her hands with mine. “I fucked up. I was a dick. But I promise, I’ll never hurt you again.”
She licks her lips as she gazes into my eyes. “I should say no.”
“You should.”
“But I don’t want to.”
“I don’t want you to either, but you have reasons.”
“I do,” she agrees, her eyes burning into mine. “But I know you. I know how you were raised. I know that you’ve never had a girlfriend, that you’ve never made time for one. I feel like you want to make time for me, you just don’t know how.”
“I don’t, but I want to. For you.”
“I know you do, Aiden. I also know you’ve had a rough year. It hasn’t been easy, and then I came into your life. With how amazing and hot I am, it’s easy to say I turned your world upside down.”
I take a deep breath in and nod. “Completely.” I cup her jaw. “Seeing you with him made me crazy.”
“I know.”
“I don’t have a clue what I’m doing here with you.”
She shrugs. “Just do what you feel.”
I nod. “I feel if I don’t kiss you, I might fucking die.”
Her lips curve. “I guess a kiss wouldn’t be too bad.”
“So you forgive my dumb ass?”
“I do because you’re not dumb. You’re scared, and I get it. If you’ve never done this before, I can understand the fear.”