I quirk my lip. “Yeah.”
“Yeah,” she says slowly, her eyes reverting to her drink. “I’m really sorry about all that. I shouldn’t have allowed my insecurities to cloud my decision on your play.”
“But you were right in the end, and I’m man enough to admit that.”
“I know. But still, it was shitty of me. I’m just terrified of you.”
“Shit, same here,” I admit, moving my fingers around in the condensation on the bar from the glasses. Our eyes meet, and heat passes through us. I take a deep breath. “We’ve got ourselves in a pickle, Posey Adler.”
“I’d say we do.”
“Yeah,” I say on an exhale. “For one, there are three shots and two of us. How can we split these equally?”
Her lips curve as she meets my gaze. I can tell I’ve caught her off guard. I like doing that. “Well, I could just match you. Three for three.”
I nod. “That’s a damn good plan.”
So, she does, and when her shots are placed next to mine, our eyes meet. She asks, “What’s ‘for two’?”
“Funny you should ask. I was getting there,” I say, leaning my elbow on the bar. “I think with each shot, we should admit something to the other.”
“That’s the ‘for two’?”
“No, but we’ll get there.” I love the way she looks at me, her eyes so intent on mine. I want so badly to close the distance between us and smush my lips to hers. I hold up my first shot, and she does the same. I clear my throat. I don’t know if she’s nervous; I am, but she is just watching me. Giving me nothing to go off. “My ex said I don’t show feelings and that’s why she cheated on me. I do have feelings. A lot of them, actually, but I don’t always express them right. I never meant for you to feel like I’d used you. I think I’ve wanted you for as long as I’ve known you, and I don’t know how to express that.”
Her breathing picks up, and she lets out a shaky breath as her eyes hold mine. In a low voice, she says, “My whole life, guys didn’t want me—they wanted Shelli. It’s given me a complex where I feel like I’m not ever good enough. I second-guess myself at every turn, and I want so desperately to believe that I am enough. I just don’t know how.”
Because no one has ever made her feel that way.
“Okay. So we jump right into the deep shit?”
She grins. “It’s been a deep day.”
I nod as I tap my glass to hers, and we both shoot back the bitter liquid. I slam down the glass, and she pushes hers away before grabbing the next, making a hissing noise. She holds it up, and I do the same, our eyes meeting once more. The heat is insane between us. I can feel it coming off her, and it slams into me like a tidal wave. She’s just so gorgeous.
I want to tell her so, but before I can, she admits, “I’m terrified I suck as a coach. That I’m making the wrong calls and that I don’t belong in the organization.”
Wow, I’m kind of struggling here. She seems to bleed confidence, but this is all very eye-opening. “I get nervous on the power play. I want so badly to be calm and cool like Aiden and Wes, like how you want, but I worry that what happened tonight will always happen to me.”
She licks her lips, and I want so much to devour them. She taps her glass to mine before we both shoot it. When we both slam the glasses on the bar, we share a smile. When she reaches for her final glass, she holds it up, and I can see her eyes filling with tears. I don’t understand it, nor am I prepared. Emotion just takes over.
“I know this between us was just getting started, but I don’t want it to end,” I whisper, and she nods slowly, causing my heart to almost explode in my chest.
“I don’t want that either.”
I hold my shot out to her, but she shakes her head. “That’s not my truth.”
“It isn’t?”
“No,” she says, and then a single tear slides down her sweet face. I don’t know why. With her voice low, almost so low I can’t hear her, she whispers, “I was a virgin when I woke up this morning.”
She holds her shot to mine, but I don’t move. I feel a lump in my throat as I stare into her eyes. And it’s as if it all comes together at once. The blood, how tight she was, how much pain she seemed to be in… But surely not. She’s like twenty-one, right? Or she has to be at least that since she’s drinking. Or maybe she has a fake ID?