“So good. He is awesome. He’s a little upset I got an apartment, though.”
“Really?”
“Yeah, he wanted me to live with him.”
She snorts. “He lives with a roommate. That would be awkward.”
I wasn’t even worried about Wes. “That, and it’s all so new. I don’t want to rush it.”
“Eh, I mean, you guys spend every waking moment together.”
I make a face. “We do not. I’m here, and he’s at his place.”
“Because your parents don’t know you’re dating him. If they did, he would be over helping you.”
I don’t acknowledge her correctness.
“And what do you mean, rush it? Y’all seriously have an undeniable connection. I’ve seen it. It’s insane.”
I think we do too, but I don’t want to jinx it. “I know. But I don’t know, I get nervous.”
“Nervous?”
“Yeah. What if he gets tired of me?”
I’m answered with silence for a beat. “I’m sorry. I don’t follow.”
“You know,” I say, digging my toe into my carpet as I look at the ceiling. “I was never enough for Maxim. What if I’m just all new and exciting now, but Boon gets tired of it?”
More silence and then, “Do you truly feel like that?”
I swallow thickly. “I do. I feel like things are so damn good, and I’m scared if I really give myself over to him, he’s gonna drop me.”
“Posey,” she says softly. “He worships you. And let’s remember, he was dropped. He knows what that feels like. I’m sure he’d let you know if something was off. I really think you have a solid relationship.”
“We do,” I say quickly. “We get along great, he’s amazing, and the sex is awesome. But then I get scared. Should I go and fuck some more people?”
She snorts. “Do you want to?”
“Not at all,” I say, shaking my head forcefully.
“Then why are you even thinking that?”
I fall back on my bed. “I don’t know. He scares the hell out of me,” I whisper. “I like him so much. Really, I do. But—” I stop as I close my eyes. I shouldn’t be thinking like this. “I’m just worried I’m not enough, which I know is ridiculous. I’m badass, but he could do so much better.”
“What? Who is better than you? I’ve never met them.”
My face breaks into a grin. “You love me—you have to say that.”
“And he adores you. Only you, Posey. Do you ever feel like he wants anyone else?”
I smile bigger. “Never.”
“Then tell your brain to shut up, and listen to your heart. Do you love him?”
Whoa. My heart stops, my eyes fly open, and I’m stunned into silence. The answer is there, it is, but I refuse to acknowledge it. Not yet. We’re still so new. “Ally, come on. It’s only been six weeks.”
“You know I fell in love with Taco a week in. Shelli was in love with Aiden after she saw him in a shirt of an artist she liked. Hello, Nick Jonas got engaged to Priyanka Chopra in two months. I mean, love is not controllable. When you feel it, you feel it, and it’s awesome. Own it, girl, because I know you love him, and he loves you.”
I pause to think over what she said. I know how I feel, and I expect her to read me well, but how does she know how he feels? “How do you know that?”
“Posey, seriously. He looks at you like… I don’t even know how to describe it. Almost like nothing else in the world exists. It’s you, and that’s it. It’s awesome. I want a man to look at me like that.” She laughs. “I know we always say we want to be with someone who looks at us how our dads look at our moms. But I swear to you, Posey, it’s as if he looks at you with more intensity, respect, and love than even they do. It’s awesome. Even Asher was like ‘Whoa, he’s really into Posey.’ We’re so happy for you. We want this for you.”
I take a deep breath. Can I believe what she says? Is it true? When Boon looks at me, I feel special. But then I think I feel that way because no one ever looks at me like he does. I worry that I don’t give him the same and that could lead to him not wanting to be with me. It did for his ex. He wasn’t attentive, and she cheated. Am I doing something wrong? “How about me?”
Why did I ask that?
“About you?”
“Yeah, how do you know I feel that way for him?”
She snickers. “The words you’re looking for are ‘love him,’ Posey. Stop tiptoeing around it and own it,” she scolds, but I refuse. Not yet. “I know because of how your whole face lights up around him.”
I cover my face. “Do you think he knows?”
She sighs. “Oh, Posey, how could he not?”