“Can’t tell at all.” He folds his arms and leans his hip into the counter. “I can’t believe you’re here.”
“I can’t believe you’re here. What are you doing here?” I ask, leaning into the counter and matching his stance.
“I live here. I play for the IceCats.”
“Oh, duh!” I laugh, feeling stupid. “I knew that. I’m surprised I haven’t seen you before.”
“I just moved to this side of town.”
“Oh, nice,” I say with a smile.
“Yeah. How long have you been here? Last I heard, you were in Pennsylvania.”
My heart speeds up a bit, and I swallow around the lump in my throat. “Yeah, I moved here about a year ago.”
“Well, since Drew isn’t on my team, I’m guessing that’s over?”
I inhale sharply, letting my breath out in a whoosh. “Very over.”
“I’m sorry to hear that,” he says, and I know he means it. His eyes are full of such beautiful compassion, and it makes my heart skip a beat. “I thought you’d go back home.”
So did I, but that wasn’t an option. “I needed some time to myself. You know how my family is.”
His face lights up. “Yeah, loud and crazy. I actually just had dinner with your family a few weeks ago when we played the Assassins.”
It is like being hit with a bucket of cold water. He’s still in contact with my family. They can’t know where I am. “Oh, that’s nice,” I say as I reach for the iPad to take their order. He must have taken the hint that talking about my family is forbidden, but before he can ask anything, I say, “So, did you want some coffee?”
“The holy shit is off the table, right?” When we both look at Chandler’s friend, he holds his hand up. “Sorry, I gotta get in where I fit in. You two apparently have a lot to talk about.”
“We do,” Chandler says then, meeting my gaze. “I was actually looking forward to seeing you at Ryan and Sofia’s wedding.”
I take in a quick breath, but I don’t say anything. My eyes stay locked with his. In another time, another world, I would jump at the chance to be excited to see him, but everything is just so messed up.
“Maybe you can join us. I’d love to catch up.”
Oh. No. “Um, I don’t know. I’m really busy.”
Chandler looks around and then laughs. “There is no one here.”
“No, I know, but I’ve got paperwork and stuff,” I say quickly. I tear my gaze from his and look to the iPad. “So, what can I get you?”
“Ha, she blew you off,” the friend says, and I pull my brows together.
“You have no filter, do you?”
The guy shakes his head with no shame at all. “None.”
“Good to know.”
He holds out his hand. “I’m Nico. Wanna go out with me?”
I laugh when Chandler pulls back and punches Nico in the arm. “Dude.”
“What? Just ’cause she doesn’t want you doesn’t mean she doesn’t want all this,” he says, running his hands down his body. He then leans on the counter. “I’m the starting goalie for the IceCats. I can show you a great time.”
“Er…no, thanks.”
He shrugs like my rejection is nothing to him. “Fine, can I get a mocha latte?”
“Sure can,” I say, pushing the buttons that need pushing to place the order. I glance at Chandler, but he’s looking at me and not the menu.
“I’ll take a cup of black coffee, and I’d love for you to join us. You sure?”
Oh, if only he had asked me that eons ago. Wait, he did. I chose Drew instead.
“I’m sure,” I say before looking at the total. “That’ll be $8.75.”
“I got it,” Nico says, handing me his card. “Since I’m loaded and all.”
He waggles his brows at me, and I laugh as I ring him up. In another world, a guy like Nico would be someone I would go for. I wanted Chandler, God I wanted him, but he was so off-limits. Plus, I always thought he was too good for me. He was too kind, too funny, and too loyal. He is probably still all those things, and I’m nothing but damaged goods. It’s best that I “blow him off,” in Nico’s words.
Even if I want to run into his arms again for another hug.
I feel Chandler’s gaze on me as I move around the coffee shop. I do my best to ignore him, but it’s really hard. Our eyes keep meeting, but I look away immediately. I don’t miss the little grin that sits on his face. I’ve missed that grin, and I hadn’t even realized it. The last five years haven’t been the best, but I’d be lying if I said I hadn’t thought think of Chandler here and there. Especially when I regretted going back to Drew. I should have stayed, seen what could have happened with Chandler—if Ryan had ever let something happen. Part of me wishes he had. Then I wouldn’t have ended up with Drew. I don’t know. I was just young. Stupid. Thought I knew it all. That was total shit. Even now, at twenty-three, I know I don’t know it all.