She rolls her eyes but lets go of me so I can sit up.
I look up at her and shrug. “I’m just scared.”
Shelli shrugs back. “I get it, but what was it Uncle James would always say?”
I furrow my brow. “What?”
“Always run face first into fear, for it doesn’t control you, you control it.”
I blink as my heart jumps into my throat. He used to tell me that every time I got on the beam. I hated the beam—it was my kryptonite—but my dad loved watching me on it. He said that was my event and I was born to be on that beam. I was always so scared of it until finally I just threw my flight of three back handsprings on it with no fear whatsoever.
Well, a bit of fear, but I did it.
“I don’t know.”
Shelli is annoyed with me, but she doesn’t understand. She’s younger; she has a great life, doing things in New York with no one to answer to. She hasn’t been hurt—hell, she doesn’t even know what real love is. She’s carefree and has fun. To her, I should let go of the past and move on, and that’s that. But it’s not that easy for me.
When I hear the sliding door, I look over to see Shelli going outside. “What are you doing?”
“I need air. You’re annoying me.”
I scoff. “I’m annoying you?”
She flips me off as she leans on the railing. I lay my head on the back of my couch and close my eyes when I feel the sea air come rushing in. It relaxes me so. My mom texted earlier, asking when I’d be ready to come home, and it’s put a bit of pressure on me. I don’t know if I want to. I love it here. I feel good here. Would I love to work in Sofia’s gym? Of course, but Nashville doesn’t have the beach.
It doesn’t have Chandler.
Jesus, what am I thinking?
“Dude, you’re a stalker!” I open my eyes to find Shelli throwing her head back as she laughs. “Whatever.”
“Who are you talking to?” I call to her, and she points down to the beach.
“Chandler. He’s walking his dog.”
I go to get up, maybe a tad too quickly because my legs are tangled together, and the next thing I know, I’m falling on the floor. I let out a groan of pain as I scramble to get up.
“She’s lying on the floor. I think she fell trying to get out here.”
“Oh my God, I hate you,” I say to her as I get to my feet and head outside. When I lean over the railing with Shelli, Chandler is looking up, his hand shielding his eyes from the sun as Sadie jumps around him.
“Hey,” I call down, and he grins, his face bright and happy. It’s hard to believe I put that grin on his face, but I think I may have. “What are you up to?”
“Just walking my dog. I had morning skate, and now I’m just chilling.”
“You should come with us,” Shelli suggests, and I give her a confused look.
“Okay,” he answers, but he doesn’t even know where we’re going.
I shake my head. “You don’t want to go. We’re going dress shopping for Ryan’s wedding.”
“And we’re getting lunch!”
With no hesitation whatsoever, Chandler says, “Yeah, I’ll go.”
“I still feel I should have been able to see the final product.”
I give Chandler a sideways glance as I hold back my grin. “I haven’t gotten the approval from Sofia, so I don’t know if I’ll be wearing it.”
“So? You could wear it for a date. With me.”
When he winks, I giggle. “I’d want to surprise you then.”
He shrugs, and I love the playfulness in his eyes. “Fine. Real question, though.”
Shelli and I look over at him as we walk down Fourth Street, which is where the best dress shops are. It’s more of a boutique kind of setup, each storefront decorated with Halloween décor and fun fall stuff. It’s almost ninety degrees, so it’s odd but fun nonetheless.
“Where are we eating?”
Shelli shrugs as she holds her stomach. “I don’t know if I want to eat.”
I glance over at her, surprised. She was all about food an hour ago. “What’s wrong?”
“My gut hurts. I think I’m cramping.”
“Man, I hate when that happens,” Chandler adds, and I snort with laughter as I look at him. “You want to head back?”
I want to scream No, I wanted to go to lunch, but that would be rude. Shelli is my cousin. I should want to make sure she feels better instead of wanting to hang with Chandler. I’m such a bad cousin.
Shelli waves him off. “No, it’s fine. I’ll get an Uber home, and you two go have lunch.”
“Shelli—”
“Seriously,” she says, looking at me. “I’m so over being the third wheel and watching you two flirt. I gotta get out of here. You two are probably the reason my gut hurts.”