“Why? You have had no contact, haven’t even asked how she is—”
“How is she?”
I try so hard to keep calm. “No, don’t do that. You don’t care. You’re being like this to take a hit on me.”
“Maybe so, but I don’t see what the rush is.”
“I want sole custody of my daughter.”
“Why? I’ll always be her mother.”
“I am aware, but you’ll also always be the mother who didn’t want her. Sign the papers—or hell, I’ll pay for you to fly in just to be done.”
She pauses, and I think I might have reached her, but then she says, “My mom doesn’t want me to.”
Fuck. My. Life. “No disrespect to her, but she hasn’t reached out either, Lilly. It’s obvious you guys don’t want anything to do with my child, and that’s fine. I will love her, and there are plenty of people who will love her more. Sign the papers.”
“Oh, so you have someone else?”
“What the hell? Why does that matter? You’re with someone, moved with him, so why does it matter if I am?”
“It’s the black lawyer, isn’t it? The one you were obsessed with and probably cheated on me with.”
“I didn’t. I’m not like you.”
“But it’s her.”
“It doesn’t matter. Sign the papers, or get on a plane.”
“No. I’m not ready.”
“Fine. We’re going to present all your emails and texts, so if you aren’t here to defend yourself or whatever you’re trying to do, I will win.”
“Then why are you calling me?”
“Lilly—”
“Because you know they won’t let you have custody. Why would they? No one ever wants you. You weren’t good enough for your parents or me, and you sure as hell aren’t good enough for Celeste.”
I freeze. I know what’s going on when she gets nasty like that. She feels trapped, and there is nothing else I can say. I hang up the phone, throwing it across the couch, and I cuddle Celeste in my chest. She strokes her fingers along my neck and jaw as I close my eyes, nuzzling my nose in her hair.
I know Lilly was just being hateful, I know what she said isn’t true, but it hurts. Her words feel as if they’re knives, stabbing me everywhere. I know I shouldn’t believe her or even think she is correct. I know she isn’t. But the problem is, I have those kinds of thoughts daily. And hearing them from someone else’s mouth, even it belongs to a cunt like my ex, really does a number on me.
So, I hold my daughter close, my eyes closed as she touches my jaw in such a loving way. I remember that she thinks I hung the moon, the stars, and probably the sun. I remind myself that I’m in a really incredible relationship with a bomb-ass chick who thinks highly of me. My teammates, who are my brothers, love me, and I’m helping a young man with the same issues I struggle with. Over and over again, I remind myself of those things and try so damn hard to convince myself what Lilly said isn’t true.
Chapter Twenty-Four
Jaylin
* * *
Feliciana is a gorgeous woman.
She is older than me, wiser, but she looks my age. She has dark skin that is flawless and stunning. Her hair is in tight braids that she has styled into a high bun. I’ve thought over and over again about wearing my hair like that, but I’ve gotten so used to doing my hair natural, and I’m really good at it. I also don’t have the time to sit for hours on end for braids. I have a lot of hair; it would take all day. Since my mom is the only one allowed to touch my hair and that’s a lot of time with my mom, I’m good with my natural hair. Even though the braids do look amazing on Feliciana. I could add extensions for longer hair. I’d look incredible with them. This is why I don’t like hanging with my boss. I start getting hair envy.
I watch as she takes a nice long sip of her wine, and I sit back with my glass leaning on my forearm. She usually doesn’t drink at lunch, but I’m ignoring the idea that she might be nervous about what she needs to say to me and have decided she just wants to cut loose with her favorite employee. It’s honestly the only reason I’m able to sit here still sipping my first glass.
I don’t want to get reprimanded for the whole episode with Willa. I also don’t want to talk about it. I’m embarrassed for how Willa acted and the things she said. I know Feliciana, and I know she’ll have an opinion about me dating someone Willa is representing. Problem is, I’m unsure if she’ll be upset or supportive. I may have worked for her for a while and I may know her well, but I’ve never been in a situation when I’m falling very hard and very fast for someone who is being represented by the firm.