Am I standing in the way of that?
“Leave her out of this,” Kirby demands, his voice full of emotion. “You didn’t want me or Celeste. But really, Lil, none of this matters.”
Why does it bother me that he called her Lil? It’s a nickname. Who cares? But it seems intimate to me. I look down at Celeste as she falls asleep, thankfully unaware of the fact that her parents are arguing over her.
“It does matter. It’s bullshit. We could be a family!”
My shoulders fall as I close my eyes, pressing my nose against Celeste’s forehead, taking in her sweet smell. Kirby is outraged as he yells, “Lilly, no. You’re being insane, and I don’t get it. You have a life somewhere else. You don’t belong in this home with me and my family. Go. We have nothing else to discuss here. I’ll see you next Thursday in court.”
“No. I want to try again!”
Really? What. The. Fuck.
“Absolutely not. Where is your boyfriend? Did he dump you? Or wait, did you cheat on him? Because if you thought you could come back and live here, you’ve got another thing coming!”
“Where am I supposed to stay?”
“Don’t know, don’t care. Just not here.”
“You told me you’d put me up.”
“No. I said I would pay your way here. That’s it.”
“That’s not fair.”
“No. What’s not fair is that you’ve put me through hell with court fees and lawyer retainers. What’s not fair is that you haven’t been there for Celeste! That you cheated on me over and over again and made me feel worthless. That’s what’s not fair. So please, go fuck yourself and get the hell off my property.”
When I hear the door slam, my heart starts to kick up in speed. Celeste somehow fell asleep in the middle of Kirby’s yelling, so I lift her and carefully carry her to the crib. I place the bottle on the side of the bed and lay her on her back. When she becomes a bit restless, I put her pacifier in her mouth, and she settles quickly. I make sure she is free of toys, pushing them to the end of the bed before turning to find Kirby in the doorway.
“Is she okay?”
I nod. “Fine.”
He moves out of the way as I step out, shutting the door behind me. I walk past him, feeling his gaze on me as I head into the kitchen, grabbing my wine. My heart is still beating uncontrollably in my chest, and I am so confused.
“Sorry about that.”
I shrug. “It’s not like you knew she was coming.”
I turn to face him, and he looks like he just came out of a battle. “I hate dealing with her.”
“I can tell.”
“You’re acting weird,” he says, calling it as he sees it. “What’s wrong?”
“I don’t know,” I say, waving my hands around. “I mean, her saying she wants to be back in your life and wants Celeste really rocked me. I thought we didn’t have to deal with her.”
“Who’re you telling? I can’t stand her, and I don’t know who she thinks she is, wanting to come back.”
Our gazes lock, and I don’t see this going well. It’s one thing to be with someone who doesn’t have baby mama drama. But now that he does, can we survive her? She sounds pretty crazy.
He tilts his head. “What’s wrong?”
Of course we would survive; look how tuned in he is to me. “Do you think maybe you should give her another chance? For Celeste’s sake?” I ask, even though it physically hurts me to do so. I don’t want him to, but I don’t want to stand in the way of a family being together.
“The fuck? No, Jaylin. I do not. I tried that, and it didn’t work. I refuse to be unhappy so my daughter can have both parents in her daily life. I don’t like that woman, not even a bit. I can’t even find it in me to find love for her because she gave me Celeste.”
I take his words and think them over. I was pretty sure he would say something like that.
“Wait. Are you trying to get out of this?”
I look up at him, appalled by what I think he just said. “Excuse me?”
“Using Lilly as a way out of this relationship with me.”
“Excuse me again, but what the fuck? Why would I do that?”
“I don’t know,” he says, his voice getting louder, emotion clouding his features. “I thought we were good, I thought we were solid. I love you, but you asking me if I want another chance with her—what is that? I don’t want her. I want you. So, what are you playing at?”
“I’m not playing at fucking anything, Kirby. I don’t want to stand in the way of a family being together!”
“You are my fucking family!” he yells back, his eyes wild.