And then what about Lilly? I know he’s upset with her, and for good reason. But even with her being overseas, she still sent all kinds of hell his way. What will happen if she’s involved in Celeste’s life? The thought of sharing Celeste gives me such a headache. I don’t want Lilly teaching her bad habits or talking about Kirby and me in a negative way. I don’t want the constant pull of what we know is right and her wanting to play mommy. Her actions speak volumes, and I don’t want to deal with her.
But the alternative terrifies me.
All these reasons for not being with him don’t change the fact that I am completely in love with him. I am head over heels for him and Celeste. I don’t know how to have a life outside of them. I don’t want that life. But it’s all so complicated now. It was easy before—we were in love, we were happy. But now that Lilly is here, I know she will cause nothing but problems. Put us through pure hell, and I worry what that will do to us.
Once the doctor leaves, after telling us things are progressing perfectly, I go back to my spot before grabbing Aviva some ice chips to feed her. She opens her mouth and smiles a thanks as she chews and sucks on the ice. “I don’t know how you chew ice. Makes my teeth hurt,” I say, trying anything to distract her.
She laughs lightly. “I love it, and I’m currently imagining that it’s a big juicy cheeseburger.”
Nico smiles at her. “I got you after this. I’ll buy you all the cheeseburgers.”
“That’s why I’m marrying you.”
They share an adoring look, and I love it. I love them. I wanted so much to have what they have, and I found it. Maybe even something better. “When is this wedding of Nico and Aviva?”
He leans in, kissing her jaw before she looks over at me. “We’re thinking New Year’s Day.”
“Wow,” I say, grinning at her. “That will be fun.”
“Yeah, we’ll see,” she says, letting out a long breath, and then she cringes. Nico and I have become a little team, and together we help Aviva get through this contraction. I’m super thankful that I went to some of her birthing classes. Otherwise, I would be lost. As the pain subsides, she exhales hard and says, “The baby will be okay.”
“It’s fine,” I promise, and Nico nods.
“They’ll be perfect.”
She nods, but I don’t think she’s convinced. She seems so scared, so unsure. I can’t imagine what she is thinking. I’m scared for her, and it isn’t even my body going through all this. It’s not my child. Because if it were, I would be just as much of a mess as Aviva is. But she’s so strong, and that makes me stay positive.
But then she looks at me, her knowing eyes burning into mine. “What’s going on? You’ve been quiet and weird since you got here.”
“What? I have not.”
“You have,” she accuses, holding my gaze. “Tell me. Distract me, please.” I hold her gaze, and she gives me a very stern look. “I can tell something is up. Please. I got like three minutes before another one hits. Come on, spill.”
I glance at Nico, and he’s watching me. I feel a little on the spot, but when have I ever held back when Aviva asks? “I was going to stay with Kirby tonight, had a bag packed and everything—”
“Oh! I’m so sorry—”
“No,” I say, stopping her. “It wasn’t you who ruined it. Lilly showed up.”
Nico gawks at me as Aviva blinks. “No way,” she says, and I nod.
“What the hell did she want?”
I shrug. “To see Celeste? I don’t know. It was crazy. She just assumed she was staying with Kirby and even brought up getting back together with him.”
Aviva is speechless as Nico says, “What a dumb bitch! Kirby would never.”
I clear my throat. “But maybe shouldn’t he, for Celeste?”
He shakes his head quickly. “Fuck no. That woman is shit. She doesn’t deserve Kirby or Celeste.”
“What he said,” Aviva says, hooking her thumb toward her future husband. “Wait. Did you suggest that he should try?”
She knows me so well. “I did,” I say, and when she lets out a scream, I’m glad I’m confident in the fact that she’s having a contraction and not getting pissed at me.
Though, she may also be mad at me since she is squeezing my hand harder than ever. I cringe with her, trying to soothe her and ignore the pain in my fingers. When the contraction ends, she sets me with a look. “Jaylin Renee, that is absolutely insane. You know good and well he loves you and only you. He wants to be with you. He wants to build a family with you. Do not get in your feelings, in your head, and start trying to ruin this because you’re scared.”