I hear him lean on the counter. “Didn’t you have someone over last night? When I went for my run, the lights were on, and I saw her.”
Finally, I trust myself to respond. “Yeah.”
I peel the helmet off and lay it in my lap, though Chandler has seen me naked plenty. Neither of us cares. “Are you okay?”
I swallow past the lump in my throat. “She just left.”
“Who?”
“Aviva.”
“Aviva? That’s a really cool name.”
It is. She is a cool chick. When she’s not fucking leaving without a word or a note! “She just left. No note. No number. Nothing. Gone.”
I look up at him as his eyes widen. “This is a first.”
“It is.”
He nods and then shrugs. “Dude, it happens. Sometimes it’s good for you but not her—”
“No!” I roar, standing up and throwing down my helmet. “It was fucking good for both of us. We had a damn good time, and we clicked. For the first time in almost a year, I felt like I could click with someone else other than Shelli.”
Chandler holds his palms up at me. “Whoa, dude. I didn’t fuck you and leave. Don’t take this out on me.”
I grip the counter and take in a deep breath. My heart is jackhammering in my chest, and I hate this feeling. What did I do wrong? Nothing. I did nothing wrong. “I was honest, I was up front, and I told her what I did and didn’t like.”
“Good, but that doesn’t mean that’s why she left. Did she have something to do?”
“Probably, but why didn’t she leave a note?”
“Couldn’t find a pen?”
“Or she thought I was fucking crazy!” I yell, shaking my head and feeling stupid. “This is why I keep shit to myself—”
“But you don’t. You try, but then things get messy and you freak.”
He’s right, but still. “Whatever. I just don’t understand. I told her I didn’t like bars, and that’s how we ended up here—”
“Was it a line to get her here?”
I mush my brows together. “What?”
“Did she think it was a hookup?”
“No,” I say, but then I’m unsure. “Well, I don’t know. I mean, it wasn’t a line for me. It wasn’t a hookup for me.”
“Did you tell her that? Did you two talk about it?”
I give him a dry look. “No, Chandler, we were too busy fucking!”
He rolls his eyes. “Then what do you expect?”
“Dude, you don’t get it!” I yell, heading to my bedroom since my cock keeps slapping my thighs. I reach for a pair of shorts. “She shared shit with me, and I thought I meant something to her.”
“What shit?”
“Personal shit. I’m not telling you!”
I walk back out, and he’s staring at me. “Why, thank you so much. I know you think that thing is too big to contain, but it’s not.”
“Shut up,” I grumble at him as I run my fingers through my hair. “I just don’t get it.”
“Why are you so upset? So, she left. Go find someone else. You’re not hurting for females.”
“No, it was different. She’s different. Fuck.” I inhale sharply as I crouch down, cradling my head. “I actually feel something when I’m with her. Like, I want to be myself. Damn it. What if she isn’t into me? What if this was all a joke? But it doesn’t seem like that.”
I feel him staring at me. “Nico.” I glance up, but I don’t want to look in his eyes. “What in the hell is going on?”
I shrug, and I feel so small. I’m bigger than Chandler in every way, but right now, I feel like I come to his waist. “It’s the same shit, different girl.”
“What?”
“Shelli didn’t want me and left me. Dumped me because I wasn’t Aiden Fucking Cuntbasket Brooks. I thought maybe Aviva wanted me, that I was good enough. I mean, I’m not saying it was love at first sight, let’s get married and have babies, but shit, I wanted her to like me.”
I know this surprises my best friend and probably confuses him. I don’t share feelings with him much. He’s the touchy-feely one. I don’t know how many times I listened to how much he loved Amelia and blah, blah, blah. Now it’s me. Now I’m blah, blah, blah.
“Nico, who says she doesn’t? Maybe she had somewhere to be?”
“Where is the note? The phone number? Dude, I mean, it’s not that hard.”
Chandler shrugs. “I’m giving her the benefit of doubt that maybe she got overwhelmed and bounced. Figured she’d see you sooner rather than later.”
I didn’t think of that. Probably because that’s not how she rolls. When Aviva wants something, she goes for it. That’s why I feel as if she may not have wanted me. Maybe I wasn’t good enough, just like with Shelli. Whoa, am I a scorned man? Did Shelli give me a complex? Damn it.