“We’ve been together for over a year, Graham. A fucking year, and that bastard is married. Fucking married! Do you want to know the worst part?”
“I think it’s obvious.”
“It’s not.” She held his gaze. “I don’t even care.”
“Does that mean you’re going back to him?” Graham was confused. If she hadn’t cared he was married, why was he taking her to the middle of nowhere?
“What? No, never. I thought I would be heartbroken . . . devastated. I thought I was in love with him, but I think I was in love with the idea of being in love. I don’t even miss him.”
“You’re angry,” Graham pointed out. “The hurt will come. The stages of grief, remember?”
She shook her head and remained calm. “I don’t think so, Graham. I could’ve texted Brooklyn to come and get me, but I texted you because deep down, I know I’d rather spend time with you over anyone else. Do you want to know what I was thinking about on the way back from Canada?”
Graham sighed. “How many ways can I ignore Graham?”
Rennie laughed. “I was thinking about the drive up and how I didn’t want to be there, and how this past month, the only time I’ve been truly happy was when I was in Cape Harbor. He wanted to take that away from me, and I almost let him. And I was thinking about his poor wife, Angela; her friend must’ve called her and told her. What must she think of me? I can’t even imagine, nor do I really want to. I don’t want her to think I set out to ruin her marriage. Theo did that. From the day I met him, he’s been lying to both of us.”
“You should probably talk to him, Ren.”
“Why the hell should I?”
“Closure?” Graham suggested. “If I’ve learned anything over the past few months, it’s that talking brings closure.”
Rennie scoffed. “The only thing I want from him is an answer to why he did this—nothing else. I’m going to be fine, Graham. I really am. I’m relieved, really. He wasn’t the guy for me. He was the type of guy everyone expected me to be with, and that’s not what I want out of life.”
“What do you want?” Not that he’d be able to give her anything on her list, but knowing what she looked for was important to him.
“I want someone who is going to put me first, who cares about me, my thoughts and ideas. I want someone who makes me laugh, even when I’m tired or upset, who can be there with some funny joke or story to cheer me up. The guy for me will accept my independence and encourage my personal growth. He won’t order for me or tell me what I’m eating isn’t good for me or remind me about the gym membership I pay for but never use. He’ll love my family and friends and want a beach house so I can be close to Brooklyn.”
He listened as she listed off what she was looking for in a partner. He could give her everything. “What about financial independence?”
“Well, that’s a given, right? You gotta be able to support yourself, pay your way. I don’t care about lavish vacations, because honestly, I’d rather travel alone. And, I don’t want kids.”
There it was—the kicker. Graham had enough money to live; that was it. He had cashed out his investments after he left California, bought his houseboat, and put the rest in the bar. He wasn’t raking in the cash being a part-time bar owner, even though he was the only one to run the place, and he didn’t have the funds to expand or invest in anything that would make him more money. “Sounds like you need a man who is already retired.”
Rennie quieted for a moment. “Yeah, you’re probably right. At least if he had kids, they should be grown up, and he wouldn’t want any more.”
Her words hurt only because he’d given himself a sliver of hope she would say, “I want what we never had” or something similar. He was foolish to think they’d ever cross the line from friends to lovers again. They were past that stage in their lives, and honestly, Graham was ready to settle down. He wanted kids and the laid-back life Cape Harbor provided.
Graham leaned back and put his arm around Rennie to give her a one-armed hug. She snuggled into him, gripping his shirt with her fist. “I don’t know what I ever did to deserve a friend like you, Graham Cracker.”
“I feel the same way, Ren. You’re my best girl. Always have been.”
And she would always be.
TWENTY-ONE
Graham held true to his word. After they docked, he took a shower while Rennie got ready for dinner. Most of the clothes she had packed were for lounging around the lodge, but they would suffice for now. Thankfully, the fleece-lined pants she had bought online would still come in handy, because it was a bit chilly on the island. Rennie waited for Graham in the upper salon, and when he came up the stairs, he was dressed in a white button-down and a pair of medium-wash jeans. It wasn’t what he was wearing that caught her attention. It was the way he smelled. Earlier, when she had showered at his house, she used his soap, hoping to smell like him, but the scent she craved was his cologne. He was old fashioned and wore Old Spice, just like her grandfather had. It comforted her, especially when she wore his sweatshirt.