Chapter 29: Betrayed
Maybe I should have run the other way. But no one was holding me back now, and though his voice was cold and angry, Jared was calling to me. Melanie was even more eager than I was as I stepped carefully around the corner and into the blue light; I hesitated there.
Ian stood just a few feet ahead of me, poised on the balls of his feet, ready for whatever hostile movement Jared might make toward me.
Jared sat on the ground, on one of the mats Jamie and I had left here. He looked as weary as Ian, though his eyes, too, were more alert than the rest of his exhausted posture.
"At ease," Jared said to Ian. "I just want to talk to it. I promised the kid, and I'll stand by that promise. "
"Where's Kyle?" Ian demanded.
"Snoring. Your cave might shake apart from the vibrations. "
Ian didn't move.
"I'm not lying, Ian. And I'm not going to kill it. Jeb is right. No matter how messed up this stupid situation is, Jamie has as much say as I do, and he's been totally suckered, so I doubt he'll be giving me the go-ahead anytime soon. "
"No one's been suckered," Ian growled.
Jared waved his hand, dismissing the disagreement over terminology. "It's not in any danger from me, is my point. " For the first time he looked at me, evaluating the way I hugged the far wall, watching my hands tremble. "I won't hurt you again," he said to me.
I took a small step forward.
"You don't have to talk to him if you don't want to, Wanda," Ian said quickly. "This isn't a duty or a chore to be done. It's not mandatory. You have a choice. "
Jared's eyebrows pulled low over his eyes-Ian's words confused him.
"No," I whispered. "I'll talk to him. " I took another short step. Jared turned his hand palm up and curled his fingers twice, encouraging me forward.
I walked slowly, each step an individual movement followed by a pause, not part of a steady advance. I stopped a yard away from him. Ian shadowed each step, keeping close to my side.
"I'd like to talk to it alone, if you don't mind," Jared said to him.
Ian planted himself. "I do mind. "
"No, Ian, it's okay. Go get some sleep. I'll be fine. " I nudged his arm lightly.
Ian scrutinized my face, his expression dubious. "This isn't some death wish? Sparing the kid?" he demanded.
"No. Jared wouldn't lie to Jamie about this. "
Jared scowled when I said his name, the sound of it full of confidence.
"Please, Ian," I pleaded. "I want to talk to him. "
Ian looked at me for a long minute, then turned to scowl at Jared. He barked out each sentence like an order.
"Her name is Wanda, not it. You will not touch her. Any mark you leave on her, I will double on your worthless hide. "
I winced at the threat.
Ian turned abruptly and stalked into the darkness.
It was silent for a moment as we both watched the empty space where he had disappeared. I looked at Jared's face first, while he still stared after Ian. When he turned to meet my gaze, I dropped my eyes.
"Wow. He's not kidding, is he?" Jared said.
I treated that as a rhetorical question.
"Why don't you have a seat?" he asked me, patting the mat be-side him.
I deliberated for a moment, then went to sit against the same wall but close to the hole, putting the length of the mat between us. Melanie didn't like this; she wanted to be near him, for me to smell his scent and feel the warmth of his body beside me.
I did not want that-and it wasn't because I was afraid he would hurt me; he didn't look angry at the moment, only tired and wary. I just didn't want to be any closer to him. Something in my chest was hurting to have him so near-to have him hating me in such close proximity.
He watched me, his head tilted to the side; I could only meet his gaze fleetingly before I had to look away.
"I'm sorry about last night-about your face. I shouldn't have done that. "
I stared at my hands, knotted together in a double fist on my lap.
"You don't have to be afraid of me. "
I nodded, not looking at him.
He grunted. "Thought you said you would talk to me?"
I shrugged. I couldn't find my voice with the weight of his antagonism in the air between us.
I heard him move. He scooted down the mat until he sat right beside me-the way Melanie had hoped for. Too close-it was hard to think straight, hard to breathe right-but I couldn't bring myself to scoot away. Oddly, for this was what she'd wanted in the first place, Melanie was suddenly irritated.
What? I asked, startled by the intensity of her emotion.
I don't like him next to you. It doesn't feel right. I don't like the way you want him there. For the first time since we'd abandoned civilization together, I felt waves of hostility emanating from her. I was shocked. That was hardly fair.
"I just have one question," Jared said, interrupting us.
I met his gaze and then shied away-recoiling both from his hard eyes and from Melanie's resentment.
"You can probably guess what it is. Jeb and Jamie spent all night jabbering at me. . . "
I waited for the question, staring across the dark hall at the rice bag-last night's pillow. In my peripheral vision, I saw his hand come up, and I cringed into the wall.
"I'm not going to hurt you," he said again, impatient, and cupped my chin in his rough hand, pulling my face around so I had to look at him.
My heart stuttered when he touched me, and there was suddenly too much moisture in my eyes. I blinked, trying to clear them.
"Wanda. " He said my name slowly-unwillingly, I could tell, though his voice was even and toneless. "Is Melanie still alive-still part of you? Tell me the truth. "
Melanie attacked with the brute strength of a wrecking ball. It was physically painful, like the sudden stab of a migraine headache, where she tried to force her way out.
Stop it! Can't you see?
It was so obvious in the set of his lips, the tight lines under his eyes. It didn't matter what I said or what she said.
I'm already a liar to him, I told her. He doesn't want the truth-he's just looking for evidence, some way to prove me a liar, a Seeker, to Jeb and Jamie so that he'll be allowed to kill me.
Melanie refused to answer or believe me; it was a struggle to keep her silent.
Jared watched the sweat bead on my forehead, the strange shiver that shook down my spine, and his eyes narrowed. He held on to my chin, refusing to let me hide my face.
Jared, I love you, she tried to scream. I'm right here.
My lips didn't quiver, but I was surprised that he couldn't read the words spelled out plainly in my eyes.
Time passed slowly while he waited for my answer. It was agonizing, having to stare into his eyes, having to see the revulsion there. As if that weren't enough, Melanie's anger continued to slice at me from the inside. Her jealousy swelled into a bitter flood that washed through my body and left it polluted.
More time passed, and the tears welled up until they couldn't be contained in my eyes anymore. They spilled over onto my cheeks and rolled silently into Jared's palm. His expression didn't change.
Finally, I'd had enough. I closed my eyes and jerked my head down. Rather than hurt me, he dropped his hand.
He sighed, frustrated.
I expected he would leave. I stared at my hands again, waiting for that. My heartbeat marked the passing minutes. He didn't move. I didn't move. He seemed carved out of stone beside me. It fit him, this stonelike stillness. It fit his new, hard expression, the flint in his eyes.
Melanie pondered this Jared, comparing him with the man he used to be. She remembered an unremarkable day on the run. . .
"Argh!" Jared and Jamie groan together.
Jared lounges on the leather sofa and Jamie sprawls on the carpet in front of him. They're watching a basketball
game on the big-screen TV. The para-sites who live in this house are at work, and we've already filled the jeep with all it can hold. We have hours to rest before we need to disappear again.
On the TV, two players are disagreeing politely on the sideline. The cameraman is close; we can hear what they're saying.
"I believe I was the last one to touch it-it's your ball. "
"I'm not sure about that. I wouldn't want to take any unfair advantage. We'd better have the refs review the tape. "
The players shake hands, pat each other's shoulders.
"This is ridiculous," Jared grumbles.
"I can't stand it," Jamie agrees, mirroring Jared's tone perfectly; he sounds more like Jared every day-one of the many forms his hero worship has taken. "Is there anything else on?"
Jared flips through a few channels until he finds a track and field meet. The parasites are holding the Olympics in Haiti right now. From what we can see, the aliens are all hugely excited about it. Lots of them have Olympic flags outside their houses. It's not the same, though. Everyone who participates gets a medal now. Pathetic.