The Man Bible: A Survival Guide (Slater Brothers 6.5)

I’d love to see you try—This is not a statement, it is a genuine offer. Your woman is giving you the chance to come up with an excuse for whatever dumb thing it was that you said you were going to do. Do not engage. Play it off as a harmless joke then stuff your mouth with food, and pray.

I have a headache—you’re getting no pussy tonight.

K—Shit is about to go down if you don’t apologize. One letter responses are a universal ‘fuck you’.

I didn’t mean it, I was tired—This is an apology wrapped in the form of an excuse for her crazy behavior. Accept it and move on.

I love you—I’m happy to report that this sentence means exactly what you think it does. Women don’t throw around the L word lightly, if she tells you she loves you, then you’re a lucky bastard because it’s true.