I felt Bronagh’s hand tense in mine when Ryder switched his soul-shuttering glare from me to her, and I felt how scared she became of him. She shifted behind me a little bit, blocking most of her body from Ryder’s stare. I had to turn so she wouldn’t twist my arm off at the angle she was tugging it at.
“Don’t look at me sister like that, do you hear me?” I snapped at Ryder. “You’re scarin’ her!”
He scrubbed his face with his hands. “Bran, baby, I didn’t know Bronagh was your sister. You called her Bee when you talked about her. If I had known who she was I would have told you so you didn’t look at me like you did last night.”
I knew what way I looked at him last night, like I did just a few minutes ago. I looked at him like he played me.
“Hold up, rewind and freeze. Branna… are you seein’ him?” my sister asked, blatant shock laced in her tone.
Shit. Fuck.
“I wasn’t keepin’ it from you, sweetie.” I assured her. “I met ‘im at Darkness a few weeks ago when I was there with Aideen. We hit it off and went on some dates since then. I wasn’t goin’ to tell you about ‘im until I was sure about ‘im. I know how you feel about people, and I didn’t want to bring ‘im around unless I was sure he was goin’ to stick around.” I cut my eyes to Ryder then, and found he was looking at me with a deep intensity.
I was beginning to gather that he was always intense, but had a special intense gaze about him whenever he looked at me, and I’d be damned if I didn’t love it.
“What is your deal with people, Bronagh?” Dominic’s voice asked from behind me, making my sister tense up. I felt her hand squeeze mine to the point of pain.
“It’s none of your business,” I snapped at Dominic then looked back to Ryder. “I’m not doin’ this to ‘er. She doesn’t like you, and that means it won’t work between us.”
The pain of Bronagh’s death-like grip on my hand had nothing on the agonising pain that encircled my chest when I spoke those words to Ryder.
Bronagh comes first, I reminded myself. Bronagh always comes first.
Ryder’s face was the picture of rage, and something else, as he reached for my free hand, and tugged me away from Bronagh. He wanted to converse in private, but his raised voice meant Bronagh and Dominic could hear everything he was saying.
“You can’t just dump me because your sister doesn’t like getting close to people, Branna. I really like you, and I care about you a lot,” he said, his eyes drilling into mine.
I knew what the look was. He was telling me that he loved me, but didn’t want to freak Bronagh out more than she already was so he lessened the intensity by changing the word love to care. I greatly appreciated it, and it tore me apart that I might have to let him go.
“I know you feel the same way about me. I don’t want this to end. I want you to be my girl. We can take things slow. I won’t press Bronagh out of her comfort zone but please don’t give up on me, on us.”
Well, fuck him anyway, I thought as I forced the dam in my eyes to stay strong.
I loved this man, and he loved me, but I loved my sister, too, and I couldn’t risk her becoming more withdrawn just so I could be happy. I mentally slapped myself when I realised how unfair that was on me, but Bronagh came first in my life, and she always would. Ryder got that too, which made this harder.
“Branna,” my sister mumbled, pulling me from my thoughts and gaining my attention.
“Don’t break up with ‘im,” she murmured. “I’ll… I’ll try harder for you. I promise.”
I couldn’t hold my tears back at that vow.
“Baby, you don’t have to try for me.” I cried. “Try for yourself, this outlook you have isn’t healthy. I want you to let other people in; you can’t only have me in your life. If anythin’ ever happened to me, you would be all alone, and that terrifies me, Bee, more than anythin’.”
Bronagh was silent for a few moments as she mulled things over in her mind, but when she looked at me, she nodded and said, “Okay, I’ll try harder. I promise.”
She switched her gaze from me to Ryder and she lightly blushed.
“Sorry for causin’ trouble for you, Ryder.”
He smiled at her. “I think you just saved me a lot of trouble, Bronagh.”
She smiled at him then to me she said, “I can’t believe you didn’t tell me about ‘im. You usually can’t keep shite to yourself, so how you didn’t let on about ‘im is beyond me.”
I laughed, sniffled, and then rubbed under her nose. “It was horrible. I wanted to tell you so many times but had to bite me lip or talk about somethin’ random.”
Bronagh chuckled. “So, you’re both like a real couple? Boyfriend and girlfriend?”
Ryder and I looked at each other, smiled, and nodded.
“This should be interestin’.” My sister grumbled
Ryder looked to her. “Why is that?”
“Because she is a freak,” she stressed, “and you will soon learn things about ‘er that will have you runnin’ for the hills. For example, she is an OCD cleaner and has multiple personalities. I’m not even jokin’, she could be me sister one minute then me ma and da the next.”
I playfully slapped Bronagh’s arm while Ryder laughed.
“Why would she be your mom or dad?” Dominic asked my sister.
I had forgotten he was there, and from the look of shock on my sister’s face, so did she.
“Our parents’ died nine years ago, Dominic,” I explained. “I’ve been ‘er guardian since I turned nineteen. I took over raisin’ ‘er when our parents passed away, so she considers me her sister, her ma, and da all wrapped into one. ‘er memories with them are limited, because she was so young when they passed. She doesn’t talk about them at all.”