It wasn’t Ryder though... it was his twin brothers.
I quickly locked the door from the inside and put the latch on, too. When one of the twins tried his key in the door and found it wouldn’t open so they both rapped their fists against the door.
“Go away!”
“Branna?” Damien called out. “What are you doing? Let us in.”
“I’ll let you in, but not him!”
Another round of knocking.
“We have to talk, Branna.” Dominic stated.
“Stay away from me!”
I heard him sigh. “Branna, please—”
“No!” I snapped. “I’m not listenin’ to anythin’ you have to say. You’re a manipulative little pox and I never want to be in your presence again. You’re dead to me.”
Through the door I heard his sharp intake of breath.
“Take that back, Branna.”
My heart hurt because even when I was furious with the little prick, I still loved him to death, just like I would a brother. I didn’t mean what I said, but I was too angry to acknowledge that.
“No.” I said firmly. “I won’t.”
“You don’t mean it so take it back. Now.”
I slapped my palm against the door, ignoring the sting.
“Don’t tell me what to do when you’ve instilled a lie in Ryder’s head. He thinks I’m cheatin’ on ‘im because of you!”
“I fucked up, okay?” he said. “I wanted him to go and beat on Ash to ensure he stays away from you, I thought if he thought another man was stepping up to you, he’d snap out of his bullshit and react like any of us would, but he didn’t, and I’m so sorry.”
I was furious with him, but a part of me also understood him. Dominic’s logic was different to mine. He and his brothers’ were raised differently in a diverse environment and things that seemed crazy to me were normal for them. I knew in Dominic’s head that what he did was the only way he knew of to gauge a reaction from Ryder.
He thought he was helping.
On a sigh, I unlocked the door, opened it wide, and stepped to the side so the twins could enter the house. Damien kissed my cheek as he passed me by and Dominic stood in front of me.
“I’m so sorry,” he repeated, his eyes trained on mine. “It was dumb of me to bait Ryder when I know how much stress he is under.”
I saw the truth in his grey orbs, and I had to fight with myself not to hug him because I didn’t want to break down and cry. I had done enough of that.
Instead, I gave him an affectionate smile and said, “I know, kid.”
He stared down at me, unmoving and unblinking.
“What?” I quizzed.
Dominic nervously shifted from foot to foot, and after exhaling a shaky breath he said, “Take back what you said… please.”
I hated that I said what I did because I saw fear in him. He believed I truly meant the vile words I spewed and unless I said otherwise, he would continue to think that way.
A lump formed in my throat as I said, “I take it back. I didn’t mean a word of it, I swear. I’m sorry, sweetheart. You’re me brother, and I love you dearly, just like I do Bronagh. Nothin’ will ever change that, okay?”
He exhaled a relieved breath. “Thank you.”
As he spoke, he hugged me tightly and kissed the crown of my head.
“It’s going to be okay,” he murmured. “We’ll fix everything.”
You can’t fix what’s already been smashed to pieces.
I hugged him back then closed the front door of the house when we separated. I watched as Dominic dropped his car keys on the table in the hall, then I followed both of the lads down to the kitchen and automatically filled the kettle with water and popped it on to make tea.
Tea was necessary.
“I know this is a stupid question,” Damien began, “but are you okay?”
“No,” I replied while I took out cups from the cupboard. “I’m not okay. I’m tired and I just want to go to bed and deal with all of this tomorrow.”
“That’s a good idea,” Dominic said rapidly. “Why don’t you go on up to bed and we can have tea later?”
I hesitated. “Bronagh told me you went to help Kane and Alec find Ryder. Why are you here and not out with them?”
“They know where he is,” Damien said. “They just have to wait for him to be done with something.”
I stared at Damien when he finished speaking. “You’re being vague, really? A few hours ago you were in me shoes, you didn’t know a fuckin’ thing, but now you do and you aren’t tellin’ me?”
He swallowed. “This is something that has to come from Ryder, Bran.”
I couldn’t look at him.
“You’re all keepin’ things from me, and it’s hurtin’ me so much.” I turned away as I spoke. “I’m goin’ to bed, Aideen will be here soon with Jax and Kane.”
“Branna—”
“Good night,” I cut Damien off and walked out of the kitchen, closing the door behind me.
I walked down the hallway, and just as I was about to turn for the stairs, I heard a jiggle of keys in the lock of the hall door. For some unknown reason, I ran through the open door and into the gym room where I hovered next to the doorway.
I knew it was Ryder, I could sense him, but he confirmed it when he spoke in hushed whispers.
“No, I can’t… because I just got fucking home and need to fix shit with my girl, you know that… for fuck’s sake, why? I’m done with this bullshit after tonight. Damn it, fine. I’ll be right fucking there.”
I heard a bit of movement then a soft click. I peeked out of the gym room and found the hallway empty and the front door shut. I heard the ignition of a car starting up a few moments later and my heart jumped to my throat.
Ryder was leaving again, and in a split second I made a decision with that knowledge.
He asked me to trust him, to give him forty-eight hours before he could tell me everything that he was hiding from me, but I couldn’t. In that moment, I simply couldn’t. I waited over a year to find out what he was up to, and I couldn’t wait another minute longer. Before I realised what I was doing, I grabbed Dominic’s car keys from the table in the hall, quietly exited my house, jumped in his car, and began to follow Ryder at a safe distance. I was doing what I should have done a long time ago, I was going to find out for myself what he was up to, and I only prayed it wasn’t as bad as what I imagined it to be.