My Life as the Ugly Stepsister

I outlined my argument on my laptop. There wasn’t any reason to fool around. I was going to be prepared. Dad would hear me out. He always had been good at listening to both sides before he made a decision. I printed my argument on the cheap color printer I’d dragged from home. I’d used bullets and large print. I was ready for battle.

Dad rapped on my door about an hour later. He didn’t try the knob but waited for me to open it. I grabbed the paper.

“Hi, hon,” he said, his large form taking up most of the hall. “You ready for our talk. I thought we’d talk in my office. We’ll have privacy there.”

Uh oh. I’d seen enough television to know this was a power play. Meeting on his turf. Unfortunately, the whole house was his. At least the office didn’t have any signs of Diane. I’d probably be more comfortable there than anywhere else in this overdecorated house. “Sure,” I said and led the way down the hall. Dad was already six four and really fit. The power play on the meeting place was so not necessary.

I jogged down the stairs and through the family room to the office in the back corner. The door was always kept closed to protect his electronics. I turned the knob and entered.

“Have a seat,” Dad said, motioning to one of the black leather chairs. Dad’s office was mostly black and white. He liked things crisp and clean.

The place even smelled different from the rest of the house. Dad must not allow the perfumed air freshener in here. I sat and he went around the long clear desk to his chair. A counter ran around three walls of the room and held various computers.

Dad gave me a little smile. “So, how’s it going so far?”

“Well,” I said, unfolding my notes. “Everything’s fine except for Mojo. I—”

Dad held up his hands. “Ally, I’m sorry I didn’t talk to you about that right away. That was wrong of me. But the fact is that Diane is very allergic to dogs. We were able to make satisfactory arrangements with the neighbor. I know that you’re upset, and,” he glanced down at my paper, “you’ve obviously come prepared for this discussion, but I’m afraid there’s no wiggle room on this one.”

I just stared, open-mouthed. He wasn’t even going to listen to me? When I was five, he’d listened to my argument about why I could probably fly off the back deck with an umbrella. And he wouldn’t take the time to listen to this? Maybe I should have worn a power suit instead of shorts and a faded t-shirt.

Stand up for yourself, my brain urged. Do it now!

Before I could determine whether or not my body would have listened, my dad started in on this long story about Diane and her allergies. They’d called the vet, and he thought the situation would be fine for the dog as long as I spent time over there with him. Diane had asthma symptoms and they simply couldn’t take a chance.

“But Dad—”

He didn’t let me talk. He started spitting out words like health insurance, deductibles, allergy shots, and co-pays. It all boiled down to the bottom line with Dad.

Dad leaned back in his chair. “Now that we’ve got that cleared up,” he said.

As if!

“We can talk about this situation with your mother.”

He wanted to talk about Mom? He’d carefully avoided any discussion of my mother since the day he’d asked for a divorce and moved out. “We can?” He’d totally distracted me from Mojo.

Dad cleared his throat. “I’m thrilled to have you stay with us here for a few months. I’m not so thrilled about the idea of Karen taking you to Seattle.”

Well that made two of us.

Giving me his serious look, he said, “Ally, I’m not sure what I’ll do if your mother decides to make this move permanent.”

“What do you mean?”

“I don’t want to be that far away from you.” He spread his hands on the table. “I know we don’t see all that much of each other, but the time we have together is very important to me. I don’t want to lose that. I don’t want to miss your high school years.”

We actually agreed about something. “So you’re hoping Mom will decide to come back?”

“It’s more than just that, Ally. If I wanted to, I could keep her from taking you out of the state.”

Well, that was news to me. Could he actually save me from this catastrophic move? “You can?”

He nodded. “I can, but I haven’t decided if I will. You could always choose to stay here with me.”

I didn’t really want to head down this road. He knew some of the reasons I’d probably say no to living with him. “Would Mom agree?”

“I don’t know.” His serious expression indicated he’d put a lot of thought into this. “I do know that it wouldn’t solve your problem entirely. You’d be thousands of miles away from one of your parents either way. And I don’t expect you to make this decision yet. As I said, I haven’t even decided what I am going to do.” Dad shook his head. “I guess I’m just hoping that this doesn’t work out and Karen comes back here.”

How much did he know about Mom and her plans? “Did Mom tell you that she had him investigated?”

“Yes. As a matter of fact, I insisted on a copy of the report.” He stood up and went over to one of the tall filing cabinets. He opened a drawer and pulled out a file folder. “He looks like an average guy, and I think your mother has enough sense to keep out of trouble.”

That surprised me. I didn’t think he’d admit to Mom having a brain. “So you think she’s safe out there?”

Dad sighed. “I think so. Relationships are hard, though. She may decide to come back to Charlotte.”

I hadn’t expected my father to have a file on Mom’s boyfriend. And I hadn’t really thought he’d care if I moved across the country. I didn’t see very much of him.

Dad put the file back in the drawer. “I’m exhausted. How about you put on ‘Pirates of the Caribbean’ and I grab a beer?”

“Works for me,” I said, relieved to have the tension level drop. I wasn’t giving up on the Mojo situation, but I knew there would be no point angering him until I had a new strategy. “Let me grab my phone and a coke.”

“Ask Diane if she wants to join us,” Dad said. “Where’s Caroline off to tonight?”

I shrugged. “Out with her friends. I think one of them was having a sleepover.” Actually, I think she just wanted out of the house. I didn’t blame her.

When your mother decides to ruin your life, she goes all out. When Mom called the Monday morning and told me to shower and put on fresh clothes, I should have known I was in trouble. Even though she is a mom, she usually doesn’t remind me to put on clean underwear. I pulled a blue miniskirt and striped top out of the closet and dressed. Maybe she was taking me somewhere really cool.

“Is this okay to wear? Where are we going?” I demanded after I got into the car. “What’s going on?”

“It’s nothing terrible. I promise.” The fact that she wasn’t driving and wasn’t looking at me should have told me to run. “I made an appointment for you at the doctor, Ally.” She kept her eyes on the steering wheel as she spoke. “I’ve been meaning to for a while, and now that I’m going away I didn’t want to put it off.”

“Oh no,” I said shaking my head and reaching for the door handle. “I’m not going to a therapist.” I thought they’d given up on a shrink two years earlier. The doctor had declared me to be functioning and not in need of counseling. Of course, I’d told the guy how everything was fine and I didn’t want to talk about anything.

“No, Ally.” Mom finally turned my way. “I want you to be comfortable with this process in case you need to go. I think you’ll like Dr. Peeden.”

Dr. Peeden? Wasn’t that her… My jaw dropped in horror.

“Yes, Ally. My gynecologist.”

I crossed my legs. “Mom! No! Why? What did I do?”

“Nothing. It won’t be bad. You’ll like her, and if you need her over the next few years you’ll be able to call her.”

“You aren’t going to be gone for years.”

“No,

but my mother took me when I was twelve. For my cramps. I want you to go before you develop a fear of it. Some of my friends never go, and that’s not healthy.”

Now the clean panties thing made sense. “But I’m fine. Advil works for my cramps.” Four of them, but still they did work. “I’m not going.”

“What if you get a yeast infection while I’m gone?”

Eewww! “I’ll use the cream they show on television. I’ll stop eating sugar. I won’t get a yeast infection.”

Mom shrugged. “Go with me now or go with Diane next week. It’s your call.”

“You’re never coming back from Seattle, are you? You just want to do one last thing before you abandon me.”

Mom rolled her eyes. “I’m not abandoning you. You know better than to think so.”

I did know, in a way. Mom really liked being a mother.

A half hour later, I was shivering in a paper gown with an equally useless paper blanket pulled over me. Why were they blasting air conditioning in a place where they made you strip naked? I was starting to regret making my mother stay in the waiting room. The whole thing was gross and embarrassing and the longer I waited the more I agonized. I didn’t even want to look at what was “down there” and no way did I want someone else staring between my legs.

Mom had tried to break the tension by telling me a story about one of her friends whose doctor thought she was flirting because she accidentally covered her… self… in glitter. Something about her kids and not realizing they had used the washcloth for the mess they’d made. “So don’t you worry,” Mom had said. “These doctors have seen it all.”