My Life as the Ugly Stepsister

“Not freakin’ likely,” he said and threw the pillow at me. Hard.

“Ow!”

“Sorry,” he said. “I guess I underestimated my strength.”

I was about to forgive him when he added, “I didn’t hurt Buddy did I?”

“Jerk,” I snapped, sending the pillow sailing back toward his face.

He laughed, loud.

“Stop,” he said. “Stop it. You’re going to get us busted.”

“Then quit being a prick.”

“Ooh. The girl’s got a mouth on her. I’ll stop,” he said, but I could tell he was still fighting a laugh.

“Good night,” I said with what I hoped was authority.

“Night,” he said.

Chapter Nine

With makeup, sometimes less is more. Or less is less awful.

—Ally’s Brutal Teen Truths

On Saturday morning, the getaway was more hectic because his family was already stirring when the dogs woke us up. I slipped back into bed at my house and slept til noon. It wasn’t easy sleeping outside all the time. Caroline woke me up to inform me she was headed to the mall.

“What are you doing today?”

“I’m supposed to go over to Madison’s.”

“Well, get up then. The day’s a’wasting.”

Did she just say a’wasting? “Okay.”

“I have time to do your makeup before I go,” Caroline said. “But only if you hurry and jump in the shower now.”

I was interested to see what her skills could do for me. “Going,” I said climbing out of bed.

I showered and Caroline got set up in her room. You’d think she was performing brain surgery or something as seriously as she was taking it. She brought in two extra lamps.

My hair was still wet, but she informed me that she couldn’t wait any longer.

Then she got out all these brushes and things. I usually, okay always, just use the cheap little brush that comes with the blush. I mean, that’s what it’s for, right? Not Caroline. She had an arsenal of application tools.

First she used toner on my face with a cotton ball. I would have used a tissue, if I had toner. She told me how to shade to make my nose not look so wide. Hello! My nose wasn’t wide. I had no problems with any part of my face except my eyes, which were too small. But apparently, I had serious nose issues too. Who knew?

Thirty minutes later, I had more makeup on than Johnny Depp in Pirates of the Caribbean. I was, of course, really hoping for a different result. But when Caroline finally let me have the mirror, I realized I’d been hoping for too much. I didn’t look better. Just different, and not a little slutty, I must say. My complexion didn’t look right. And my eyes looked even smaller.

“Well, what do you think?” She chewed on her lip waiting for my answer.

“It’s great. I…love it. Thanks.”

“Do you really? I wasn’t sure.”

Okay, even Caroline knew I didn’t look good.

“I’ve got to go, but we can do it again anytime. I’ll show you how to get the eye shadow to do right, too.”

“Thanks, Caroline,” I said, trying to hide my depression over the sad state of my ugliness. I’d been really hoping she could make me look prettier. This wasn’t prettier.

When I got to Madison’s house, she said, “What the hell? Did somebody’s makeup kit explode on your face?”

“Sort of,” I said, wondering why I didn’t have friends with more sensitivity.

“Hi, Ally,” her mother called from the kitchen. “Oh.” She stopped and studied me. “New look?”

“I know it’s terrible. My stepsister was trying to help. I guess I’m just hopeless.”

Madison’s mom was freaking me out the way she was staring. Finally she said, “Not hopeless. Those are just all the wrong tones for you. You don’t need to be wearing browns. And the foundation is too light. Your stepsister must have used her own makeup.”

I nodded.

“Tell you what girls.” Madison’s mother must have felt sorry for me what with my mom abandoning me and all. “I’ll call in an expert. My Mary Kay consultant works wonders. Let me see if she can get here this afternoon.”

“Oh, you don’t have to— ” I didn’t mean to ruin the whole day.

“No. Let her,” Madison said. “She’s been promising me for weeks and hasn’t done it yet.”

But she didn’t meet my eyes, and I figured she was just trying to make me feel better.

“Oh, definitely,” Suzanne, the big-haired, make-up consultant said later. “Browns or purples would just wash you out. You’d look sickly.”

“So what does that leave?” Madison asked.

“Greens, blues, and pinks,” Suzanne answered. “Done right, they’ll be perfect.”

I winced. I was pretty sure she was going to turn me into something out of the 1980’s with tons of blue eyeshadow. Hey, I’d seen pictures. The 80’s weren’t as ugly as the 70’s, but they weren’t pretty either.

You can imagine my shock when Suzanne finished and handed me the mirror. And I looked pretty good. Better than usual. Not as good as Caroline on a bad day. But decent. Somehow she’d used the eye makeup to make my eyes look bigger instead of emphasizing their small size like Caroline had.

Madison looked good too in her purples.

Madison’s mom had this expression of pure joy on her face. I guess make-up was something of a religious experience for her. She was so excited that she bought us each the skin care kit, plus eyeshadow, eyeliner, lipsticks, blush, and powder. She didn’t think either one of us needed foundation and Suzanne couldn’t budge her.

“Mrs. Hudson,” I said. “You really don’t have to buy me all this.”

“Consider it a birthday present,” she said.

“My birthday isn’t until February.”

“Then I’m way ahead of schedule for once.” She smiled at me.

“Thank you.”

We were all happy when Madison’s mom dropped me off. Especially Suzanne who must have made a fortune.

I glanced at the clouds in the sky before going inside. Surely it wouldn’t rain.

Caroline and Haley were hanging in her room.

“How was the mall?” I asked.

Haley rolled her eyes. “She didn’t tell me we were meeting Liam there.”

Caroline grinned. Then she noticed my makeup. “Hey. What did you do?”

“Madison’s mom decided to have a makeup party.” I held up my bag. “She bought me all kinds of stuff.”

“It looks really good on you,” Caroline said.

“Thanks.” I didn’t want her to think I didn’t appreciate her help earlier. I mean, I know she meant well. “Maybe you can help me put it on tomorrow.”

She smiled. “Sure!”

“Haley, you don’t like Liam?” I asked as her comment finally registered.

“Oh, he’s okay. But he showed up alone. Without any friends.” With a glare at Caroline, she said, “I was like the eighth wheel or something.” Her lips were always pressed into a pout.

“Third,” Caroline said. “And you weren’t.”

“She owes me,” Haley said raising her eyebrow at me.

Yikes! I wouldn’t want to owe that girl anything.

The rain was coming down in sheets by the time we ate dinner. I twirled the spaghetti on my fork and tried to decide what to do about Mojo. I couldn’t sleep out in the rain. Unless Jonathan had a tent. No, that would be ridiculous. Plus we wouldn’t hear anybody coming with the noise from the rain. And the dogs would be wet and muddy anyway.

As soon as Haley, Caroline, and Diane finished their dinner, I dashed next door with the beat-up black umbrella Diane kept in the foyer.

The tropical rainstorm nearly blew me away as I stood at Jonathan’s front door. I rang the bell.

He answered immediately. “I thought you might come over.” He stepped back and motioned me in.

I dumped the ratty umbrella on his stoop and stepped inside. Unfo

rtunately a gust of wind snagged the umbrella. I wasn’t paying attention, but Jonathan rushed out to catch it.

The soggy black mass dripped on the floor when he brought it in. His hair and shoulders were wet.

“Thanks,” I said. “You shouldn’t have sacrificed yourself.”

He shut the door, sending some more water flying. “No problem.”

“I came to check with you about the dogs.”

With a nod, he set the umbrella on the doormat. “I knew you’d be worried. I got permission from my dad to let them both sleep with me for this one night. He has a soft spot when it comes to thunderstorms.”