The Journey Home

I turned and looked at Monica. “What? When did Jack lie to me?”

“The day you went to his house. He wanted to hook up with you, so he lied and said Cale had a girlfriend. He didn’t, and Jack has felt like shit ever since. He told me that since that night, Cale has been stopping on the street, going up to girls to see if they were you. He never got over you. He told Jack he didn’t have any feelings for Zoey. He was leaving her. And that’s when she showed up and overheard them. Jack thinks she lied about the pregnancy, then got Cale to have unprotected sex so she could get pregnant.”

I started massaging my temples. “Monica, stop. This is all just nuts. No one goes through all that trouble, out of jealously, to upset someone. No one.” I turned to walk away but stopped and glanced back to Monica. “If Cale doesn’t want to be with her, why did he let her move into his house? Why are they always having sex? You don’t fuck someone you don’t care about. It’s just a strange coincidence. That’s all.”

Monica sighed. “You’re right. You don’t fuck someone you care about. You fuck someone to fuck them. She’s lying about how much sex they are having, Maddie. She’s lying about everything.”

“Monica, I don’t want to talk about it anymore. Zoey can’t possibly be that evil.” My head was telling me one thing, but my heart was telling me another. I was beginning to think that maybe Zoey did plan this whole thing.

I started to head up the stairs when Monica called out, “You keep telling yourself that, Maddie. Every time she sticks the knife in further, you keep telling yourself it was just a coincidence.”

I shut the door to my bedroom and leaned against it. My breathing picked up and I had to settle my nerves. I didn’t want to believe Jack and Monica’s theories. I really didn’t. But the more I thought about it, the more it seemed to be possible.

I SURPRISED ZOEY by taking a late flight home, since we finished work early. I found her in our bedroom sleeping peacefully, and I realized I was no longer attracted to her. It ripped my world in two. She was carrying my child, risking so much, and I felt nothing for her. I hated it. I needed to try. So after not having touched in her months, I woke her up and made love to her. But Zoey wasn’t much for making love. She wanted to be fucked, not loved. After we finished, she came out of the bathroom and gave me a smirk. “Why did that feel like you were making love to someone other than me?”

“What are you talking about?” I asked. “I just wanted to surprise you. You’re always complaining that I don’t touch you anymore. I wanted to make love to you, and now you’re turning it around on me?”

She glared at me before crawling into bed and telling me to sleep in the guest room. I was too tired to argue with her, be honest I was glad she kicked me out. I crawled into the guestroom bed, getting the space I needed away from her. She was right, anyway—the whole time I made love to her I imagined I was with Maddie.

On the way home from the airport I’d told my parents about Zoey. My mother was furious that I’d waited until Zoey was seven months along before telling them. And, of course, she was livid that I’d gotten a girl pregnant out of wedlock. Worse yet, that girl who would most likely be dead before our child was even ten.

“I can’t even believe you would be so selfish, getting a girl pregnant like this,” she’d screamed. “Do you know what this is going to do to your father’s reputation?”

With those words ringing in my ears, I closed my eyes and tried to sleep.

MY MOTHER’S WORDS were still running through my mind the next day as I walked down the stairs and headed to the kitchen. I stopped in my tracks when I heard her voice.

What the hell is Maddie doing in my house? Why is she here? How often does she come over here?

I walked into the kitchen and stared at Maddie. I wasn’t sure why, but guilt for sleeping with Zoey last night hit me like a brick wall. I knew Maddie wasn’t seeing anyone—the private detective had confirmed it. She pretty much worked and stayed home. On occasion, she’d go out with Monica. She traveled a lot for her job and seemed happy.

I cleared my throat and Maddie spun around. “What are you doing here?” she asked. She was holding a knife and stood by the kitchen island, where she appeared to be making finger sandwiches.

It wasn’t just the knife in her hand that made me think she was upset. In fact, the more she ran into me, the more she seemed to despise me. In a way, I couldn’t blame her. “I live here,” I said.

Looking at Zoey, Maddie said, “You told me you had to face your parents alone. You told me he wouldn’t be here.”

Zoey smiled that snarky smile of hers. It seemed she saved that smile only for Maddie. “Did I say I was going to be alone?”

Maddie raised her voice. “Yes,” she said, “you did. Specifically. It’s why I came over. You lied.”

Zoey’s smile faded. “I didn’t lie! How dare you say I did! I told you that I was tired, that I could use your help. I’m exhausted.”

Maddie zeroed in on me. “Do you do anything else but fuck her?” she asked.

I reeled back in shock. “Excuse me?”

“You know, Cale. Do you help out around here? Seems to me that all Zoey does is complain about how tired she is and how you’re always wanting to have sex with her. If you stopped thinking with your damn dick and started helping her out, then maybe she wouldn’t be so tired.”

I stood there stunned. Where would Maddie get the idea that we were having so much sex? “First off, as far as our sex life is concerned, it’s none of your damn business. Second, I help around here plenty when I’m home. But, like I said, it’s none of your business.”

“It’s hard to stay out of it when all Zoey does is talk about it.”

I caught myself glaring at Zoey.

“Okay, okay,” she said, seemingly oblivious to my frustration. “Let’s all play nice before my parents get here.” She paused, then startled. “Oh! Wow. The baby just kicked.”

I moved closer to her and placed my hand on her pregnant belly. Indeed, I could feel the baby kicking. I smiled at Zoey. But when her smile faded, I knew something was wrong.

“What is it?” I asked.

Zoey nodded and said, “I think Maddie’s outburst really rattled me. I feel faint.”

“My what? I didn’t—”

I looked back over my shoulder at Maddie. “Just stop. You’re upsetting her and she doesn’t need the stress.”

I helped Zoey into a kitchen chair.

Maddie squared her shoulders and nodded. “I’m sorry, Zoey. I’ll head home now, especially since I know you have help now with Cale here.”

Zoey held out her hand for Maddie, “No! Please no don’t go, Maddie.”

Maddie smiled and said, “I think it’s best if I leave.” She put the little knife she’d been holding down on the counter.

I looked into Maddie’s eyes. “Let her go, Zoey. That’s what she does best. Walks away.”

As soon as it came out of my mouth I regretted it. I’m not even sure why I said it. But I saw the hurt on her face immediately. I wanted to apologize, but I was so tired of being treated like the enemy. But, when I saw the tears in her eyes, I about dropped to my knees. I went to tell her I was sorry, but Maddie looked away from both of us as she turned back to work on the sandwiches.

“I uh,” she stammered. “I’ll finish up the sandwiches while Zoey rests. Zoey, Don’t worry, I’ll make sure things are ready for your parents.”

Zoey stood up and smiled. She looked pale, and I could tell that she truly wasn’t well today. “Thank you, Maddie. I think I’ll go lay down. Cale, will you walk me to our room please?”

Maddie dove back into the sandwiches. A part of me wanted to stay in the kitchen. Instead I took Zoey by the arm and smiled as I lead her to the bedroom.

Once we were in the bedroom Zoey walked over and took a bottle out of her purse and took a pill out.

“Zoey are you okay?” I asked. She smiled briefly and then crawled into bed.

“I’m just so t

ired all of sudden. Just so tired. Please call my parents and tell them I need to cancel lunch.”

I sat down next to Zoey on the bed. I placed my hand on her forehead and was relieved when she didn’t feel feverish.

“Okay.” I said. “I’ll do whatever you’d like.”

She went to say something else but all that came out was a whisper. “So. Tired.”

I sat there for a few minutes watching her as she fell asleep. I wanted to make myself love her, but I couldn’t. At the same time, I knew I’d never leave. Not now, when she was sick and carrying my child.

Back in the kitchen, small finger sandwiches where all laid out on a plate, along with some fresh fruit. I picked up my phone and called Zoey’s parents. After telling them Zoey was tired and needed to rest, her mother informed me they were calling Zoey’s doctor tomorrow and we were all going to go. I agreed. It was yet another quick conversation – her parents still hated me.

I sighed as I ran a hand through my hair. Something caught my eye on the deck. Maddie was standing there, looking out over the lake. I took in a deep breath and made my way out to where she was. The closer I got, the more I felt it—the connection between us was so strong, and I knew the only reason we bickered so much was to mask our feelings. Maybe keep each other at bay. If Zoey ever found out, she’d be devastated.

I stopped just short of her and stood there. The sun was high in the sky and reflected against the water. Maddie’s brown hair was softly blowing in the wind.

“I can’t do this anymore,” she said, sensing me behind her. “I can’t keep pretending that I’m okay, standing by and watching you with her. Hearing about the two of you together...I just can’t do it. My heart is slowly breaking.”

When she turned and looked at me, I sucked in a breath. The tears on her face did something unexplainable to me. I never wanted to see tears on her face again.

I approached her and gently placed my hands on Maddie’s face and wiped her tears away with my thumbs. Moving my hands to the back of her neck, all I could focus on was her breathing. Her chest was heaving, and she kept flicking her eyes across my face. I leaned down and gently brushed my lips across hers. She moaned sweetly and closed her eyes. I wanted her more than I’d ever wanted anyone. I kissed her soft lips and I whispered her name before pulling away.

I wanted to deepen the kiss, but I knew that this was unfair to both her and Zoey.

Maddie placed her hands on my chest and began to cry harder. She looked up, locking eyes with me. She was filled with sadness. I leaned down again, barely kissing her.

“I’m so sorry, Maddie.” I gently kissed around her lips, whispering my apology over and over.

She shook her head and looked away. I placed my finger on her chin, pulling her eyes back to mine. “If I could go back to that night on the beach,” I said, “I’d have never let you walk away.”