Like having lunch together or riding home on the bus, sitting side by side holding hands as we drowned out the noise from the other kids and got lost in our own little world.
Most of all I miss the two of us sitting together in my living room pretending to watch T.V. after spending hours in the little breakfast nook off the kitchen doing our homework while holding hands under the table and sneaking peeks at each other when no one else was around.
Those days seem so far away now, almost as if they belong to another time. Especially the time we spent together on the couch in the living room, which was the only place daddy, would allow us to be alone together. And the times when we were lucky enough to get his okay to double date with Anna and her guy.
I guess I should be thankful for the times we did have because if it were up to daddy I’d never leave the house let alone get to date anyone. Of course I’m not allowed to call it dating or daddy would have one of his fits. Thankfully mom has been a great buffer in the years that Todd and I have been together.
If not for her running interference, who knows what all daddy might’ve done by now. He’s so archaic, especially when it comes to his daughters, oh and mom. But sometimes, even mom’s not enough of a force to keep him contained so the nanas have to step in, until daddy bans them from coming over.
I know all about my parents’ love story from grandpa Cy. How mom was barely a year older than I am now when they fell in love and got married. He’s the one who’s always cautioning me not to jump the gun, as we teenagers like to do according to him. He believes in his heart of hearts that daddy will come around eventually.
Grandpa Drake and grandpa Daniel do their bit too, but sometimes I get the feeling they’re not much better than daddy who’d like to keep me in pigtails, and overalls for the rest of my life.
Mom says they’re jealous because until Todd came along they were the only men in my life. She says it as a joke but I’m not so sure anymore that it’s not accurate. Before I met Todd I used to do everything with my daddy, he was the biggest and brightest star in my sky.
Not that that changed overly much, I just made room for someone else is all. But go try telling daddy that, that Todd didn’t take his place he was just sharing space, sheesh. Poor Todd, daddy has put him through it all, but my guy has stood the test time and again.
I thought for sure that we’d be together all the time. I’d worked extra hard to graduate early so I could go off to college with him when the time came, but I should’ve known daddy wouldn’t allow that to happen. I’m still a little bit mad at him for what happened the last time, but as usual my anger fades quickly in the face of his love.
I know he acts this way because of his love for me, but that doesn’t make it any easier to bear. I’m not so worried about the fact that he doesn’t let me do the things that most of my friends take for granted. I’m smart enough to know that some things are not worth doing.
But when it comes to Todd and I, that’s the one time, I want to stand up to him and beg him for just a little breathing space. Sure, when I was thirteen and we first met, his restrictions were understandable, but now I’m seventeen and daddy still treats me like I’m ten.
When he eased up enough to actually let Todd breathe the same air as me, those were the happiest days of my life. I had the best of both worlds, then. A dad who loved me, and the boy I was falling in love with. I didn’t have to sneak around like most of my friends were doing and somehow that made what Todd and I had even more special.
Then Todd moved away and I thought my heart would break and never mend. Even Facetime and daily hours long phone calls haven’t been enough to erase the emptiness I feel without him here.
There was never any question of me seeing anyone else. Not only because I didn’t need the hassle of waiting for daddy to get used to someone new, it just wasn’t an option for me. As young as we both were, we knew that we were meant to be.
And though we weren’t allowed as much freedom as most of our peers, we made the most of our time together, that’s why our bond is so strong, even withstanding these past few years of being apart.