And if she keeps looking at me like that, with all that emotion shining in her eyes, her lips kiss swollen, cheeks pink, and the pulse in her throat beating out of time, I’m going to forget my good intentions.
“I think we should head back. Let’s not give your dad any more reason to hate me.” I cupped her cheek and ran the pad of my thumb over her warm flesh as I berated myself once more.
How could I have been so stupid? All this time I never gave much thought to the physical side of our relationship, okay maybe that’s not quite accurate. But the truth is in all the time I’ve been waiting for her to come to me, sex never played that big a part, I just wanted her with me.
It’s not that I’m not physically attracted to her, I am, in spades, but somewhere along the way I’d learned, thanks to her father no doubt, to kill that shit until the time was right.
When we talk on the phone at night, our conversations never lead to anything remotely sexual. I just can’t breathe if I don’t talk to her, or get to see her face on the screen every day. So I’d lead myself to believe that I could control myself, that I had it all under control. I was wrong.
I looked at her, at us, through new eyes as we walked back towards her house and it hit me like a ton of bricks as I held her soft hand in mine. This is mine; this beautiful amazing, perfect angel is all mine. There’s no way I won’t convince him that I’m the right man for her.
I’ve had her since she was thirteen years old, no one else has ever so much as held her hand, only me and no one else ever will. My heart is about to burst with an emotion that I can’t put into words. That feeling of excitement you get when something that you’ve wanted for a long time is finally within your reach.
It hit me all at once that when I leave here, she’s coming with me, I’ve made up my mind. I just have to find the right words, the right way, to get her dad to see things my way. I felt like a burden had been lifted from my shoulders as I looked down at her next to me.
“Why are you looking at me like that?” I shook my head at her question suddenly too tongue tied to speak. I didn’t realize that I was going to feel this way when I got on the plane to come here. Didn’t know that I was ready to fight, to have that last standoff with Colton Lyon if it came to that.
I’ve played by his rules for so long that I never once intended to rock the boat. I’d been willing to follow his every dictate where she’s concerned, but something had changed. Not that I plan on butting heads with him, no, I don’t have a death wish and I’m damn sure not about to do anything that would get me kicked out of her life, something I’m sure he’s more than capable of doing. But I’m not letting go of her hand this time.
I love her; I want to be with her. And as of a few minutes ago, I’m no longer willing to just wait on the sidelines until her dad decides I’m good enough. I’m going to prove to him one way or another that no one else will ever love her the way I do. Of course I don’t plan on giving anyone else the chance to try.
As my mind moved along those lines I felt a new sense of purpose. I’d done everything he’d asked of me in the past four years. I’d more than paid my dues so to speak and bent over backward to prove myself to him, there isn’t much more that I can do, except put my cards on the table when the time is right.
Just like that fifteen year old boy had stood his ground even though he was afraid, I have to let him see and know that I won’t give her up, not even for him. It’s time to step up and show my father in law to be that I’m not going anywhere.
I squeezed her hand as my thoughts ran away with me and she smiled up at me. “So you think I’ve grown huh!” She smirked and looked down at her chest and I almost swallowed my tongue.
What the hell happened? When we left her house less than twenty minutes ago things were fine. I was the same guy who’d rushed to get to her to protect her and she was my innocent little love.