What a fucking day! First Mengele and her shit and then Kat, Elena and their posses decided to gang up on my ass and make an end run around me. Everyone was bedded down for the night and the house was finally quiet.
Tomorrow’s Sunday, family day around here but I’m sure it’s gonna be hella busy with a houseful of people. Like I told Jared before he left, we still got a lotta shit to take care of. And as Tyler said, at the rate Kat’s going with her shit I don’t have much time.
I looked in on my triplets and my man Cody one last time before going in search of my sneaky ass wife. She was sitting up in bed fresh from her shower rubbing lotion into her feet, she even ignored the look I threw her but I knew she felt the heat.
I took a quick shower before joining her in bed and this chick still played the game. “You think I don’t know what you’re up to?” She gave me that damn ‘who me’ look and carried on rubbing lotion into her arms this time.
“Me, what am I up to? Didn’t you have a good time at the BBQ? What were you guys talking about all day anyway?” Way to change shit and take me off the scent. I knew it was too good to be true when she left off bugging my ass about Caitiebear graduating but damn, she’d gone all out.
“How did you get that old fuck Grimaldi in on the game?”
“I have no idea what you’re talking about.” She rubbed more lotion into the same damn arm again, dead giveaway.
“You know he just got back from Europe and you know how he is with the kids.”
“You know how much that car cost?”
“The same as I mine I guess, you know how he is. He doesn’t have kids of his own, you know that. Our kids are like his grandkids, he’s always buying them expensive gifts.”
“The same as yours my ass. That shit’s worth about ten times what yours did when he bought it.”
She shrugged her shoulders like it was no big deal that that fuck had bought my kid a multi-million dollar car. That old man stay getting on my fucking nerves. “You didn’t tell him about her graduating?”
“I might’ve mentioned to him months ago that she was smart enough to graduate early, I told everyone about that you know that.” Yeah, you did that shit to make me look bad. No she didn’t Colt you fuck, she’s not like that. Great, now she’s got me arguing with myself on her behalf.
“Kat, kill the shit!” My wife and kids really think I’m blind to their shit.
“Colton, why do you always think somebody’s doing something to you? Paranoid much?” She tried that shit like she’s cool and I’m not. She and her kids like to pull that one out their ass every chance they get. I’m the caveman to their modern man; my ass.
“Not gonna work sneak, and what was all that about the prom then?” She set my ass up with her shit all day. I’ve been too distracted to notice, but she went overboard with Grimaldi and his shit. I know that bastard likes sticking his nose in my shit, any excuse to grate on my nerves he’s there. She thinks I forgot the shit they’ve pulled over the years but nope.
I expect to hear from his ass any day now with his slick as spit bullshit. Everybody has an idea on how to raise my damn kid, but if I ban their asses again they won’t be happy and this one would have another one of her snits.
I can’t even remember what the fuck I banned them for the last time, but I did a full sweep. All the grandparents including his ass. Now he’s back to try me again.
“Colton, not everything is about you.” If she rubs any more lotion into that arm she’s gonna marinate it. She has no idea how many tells she has and how easy it is for me to read them.
I didn’t say shit, that’s the fastest way to get her to start telling on herself. That, or fucking the truth out of her. She looked over and caught me just staring at her.
“What? I was just asking the girls about their plans. Just because our daughter isn’t going doesn’t mean that her friends can’t go and have a good time.”
“Those girls are graduating this year?”
“Yep! And they’re all a year older than our Caitie, none of them are as smart as she is.”
“So you’re saying that I’m holding her back.”
“When did I say that? We didn’t even mention you.” Yeah, but I can read between lines like a motherfucker.
I’m not stupid, from the minute she and her crew came out of the house after watching whatever nastiness it is they were in there watching that had made her son nuts, all I heard was the prom, the prom, the prom.