Caitlin
I woke up the next day after the best night of my life feeling sore but in a good way. I silently thanked Todd for getting me those panty liners because evidence was still leaking out of me even after I took a shower. I was still worried that someone would take one look at me and notice the change, but no one did.
I found though that I missed Todd like crazy, since he hadn’t come for breakfast. Not the usual way I would’ve missed him before last night, this was almost a full on obsessive thing where my heart didn’t feel right and I couldn’t even function. Weird!
I felt just a little bit guilty as I sat around with my family and my new aunts and uncles, some of whom were leaving today to go back to their lives. I kept expecting any second that someone would look at me, and start pointing.
I’d been able to hide the mark on my neck the night before but today I had to sneak into mom’s toiletry bag and steal some makeup to hide it and was now doing my best to make my hair fall just right to keep it hidden.
Daddy especially, made me feel tremendous guilt because he had no idea that his little girl was no more and was still treating me the same. Even though he’d given the okay for us to get married, I’m sure he expected me to stay pure at least until after the wedding.
That feeling lasted only until Todd showed up not long after breakfast was over though. No one noticed the little secret looks that passed between the two of us and we didn’t act any different with each other, except for sneaking touches when no one was looking.
He looked different to me more grown up, much manlier, and all traces of the boy I once knew seemed to be gone now. And because I could see the change in him I wondered how no one else noticed the change it.
I found out something about myself too once he walked through the door, I’m clingy. I didn’t want him out of my sight for one second and felt like there was something missing when he had to go off to do something other than hold my hand.
I know he’d spent more time with me last night after bringing me home in his bid to complete the circle as he’d whispered to me, but it hadn’t been enough. I wish I never had to leave him. I didn’t expect that sharing my body with him would bring about such change since he’d already owned my heart. But it has and I feel like I’m about to explode.
I want to talk to mom about what happened, need to share this new excitement with someone, but what if she doesn’t understand? What if she scolds me for going too far too soon? With that worry in my head I could only contain myself and hope for this feeling of madness to pass on its own.
There’s no way it could last, probably just something all newly awakened virgins experience and not at all the monumental case I was making it out to be. But still, since the feelings had hit me out of nowhere and I had no point of reference with which to compare, I felt more than a little out of my depth all morning, completely removed from everyone and everything else around me.
I would’ve called one of my friends from school, but the truth is, we were never really that close. Sure we shared some interests, but because of daddy’s over protectiveness I’d never really grown that close to anyone.
After a while people tend to notice it when they’re allowed to stay over at your home but you’re not allowed to spend the night at theirs. They also notice when you have a complete security detail following you everywhere, and for teenagers who’re very covetous of their freedoms and privacy that was not a good mix. So, there’s no one I felt close enough to, to share the most amazing experience of my life thus far.
But once Todd showed up I felt the pressure that had been building all morning ease and was able to function like a normal human being again. After we saw the others off only uncle Hank, and aunt Cierra were left.
I hadn’t brought up what had happened with Leslie the night before when asked about the prom, I just told everyone that I’d had a wonderful time because I knew that daddy didn’t want mommy to know about that whole ordeal and come to think of it, neither did I.
But even though I didn’t mention it, I hadn’t forgotten. I’d had some time to think of it the night before when I went to bed. After I got through reliving every moment of what Todd and I shared, my mind of course had gone to the other events of the night.