I’d told myself I was doing it for her. That I was suffering the humiliation and degradation for her sake, holding onto that last little bit of hope that Sam would come to his senses one day, and even though he and I were through, he might still want to have a place in his child’s life. I was wrong.
The boy I knew and loved when I was little more than a child myself was no more. I no longer recognize the man he’s become. I guess I can be grateful that he and his wife didn’t want anything to do with my daughter, something Kristen thought would hurt me, but I’m now thankful for. I can only imagine how she would’ve abused my poor little girl, who was the only innocent in this, just like Tyler.
For some reason, I can’t get the image of the soaked little boy running to his mama’s car and the callous way in which she’d driven off out of my head. My phone rang just as I fitted the mat into my Cricut machine, and I answered without first checking to see who was calling.
“Justine, it’s me, don’t hang up, please.”
“Sam? What do you want?” His voice sounded strange, nothing at all like it had the day before or the last few times when he called with threats.
“Listen, I’m sorry we came there to cause trouble, I never wanted to do that. But look, I think you need to be careful.”
“Are you threatening me? We’ve been all through this…”
“No-no, you’ve got it all wrong. It’s not me; it’s that Janine woman. I overheard her talking to Kristen. I think she’s planning something; I think she wants to hurt you bad.”
“What are you talking about?”
“I don’t know all the details. I just heard the tail end of the conversation. Look, just be careful, okay, and take care of Lora, and look…I’m sorry. I’m really sorry about all this.” He hung up the phone, leaving me stymied and wondering if I should take anything he said seriously.
But as much as he’s changed over the years, I know that voice, I know when he’s lying and when he’s trying to get one over on me. This didn’t sound like either of those things. I left the craft room and made my way up to the master suite. Even though the household staff was in the house, I hadn’t seen anyone. That’s Eric’s doing; he always tells them not to bother me when I’m in there. But the way I feel now, some human contact would be good.
I dropped down on the side of our bed, feeling listless. Sam had sounded terrified. What exactly had he heard? I knew Janine hated me, but to hurt me? Just the mention of Kristen’s name gave me shivers. She’s been after me for years, even though she was the one who’d taken my husband and stolen my life.
She’s hated my guts since day one because I think she resented the fact that I was Sam’s first love and that we shared a child, a child that she hated almost as much as she hated me. In fact, the only interest she ever showed in Lora was when Eric and I were getting married.
Once she realized that I would be in a better position than her, she’d flipped and gone on a tear, trying to get Sam to fight me for custody, because she knew that I would’ve done anything to hold onto Lora. But she’d never come after me physically, maybe because the young teenage Lora had threatened her once that if she ever came near me, she’d knock her into next week.
Even my own daughter had more grit than I did. I’m such a loser. I felt myself wanting to go back to the old fallback plan. Just bury my head in the sand until it all passed. I could feel myself drift close to the comfort and numbness I used to feel when I did that in the past, feel it calling to me.
As my head hit the pillow and I reached for the covers to pull them up over my face, my eyes fell on the larger than life portrait that Eric insisted on keeping over the fireplace in our master bedroom. It’s one of him and me on our wedding day with the kids, Lora at his side and Tyler at mine.
We all look so happy there. I remember that day and all the promises he’d made to me then, and it was as if a light went off in my head. I’m no longer the beaten, downtrodden ex-wife of a mechanic. My husband is worth millions; in fact, last I heard, he’s worth more than Janine’s these days.
To an ordinary person, something like that wouldn’t matter, but to her, it would. I can use that. I have to do something, but what? I can’t just sit back while she comes after my children and me, and they are both mine now. Good, I can go upside her head for what she did to Tyler all those years ago, just let her give me the excuse I need.