"Where were you?" Finn said. "We waited as long as we could for you to return, but we had to leave your friend behind and begin the mutiny."
"You left Kit out there alone?" Violet said. "You promised you'd stay with her."
"And you promised us weapons," said Erewhon. "Where are they, Baudelaires?"
"We don't have any," Klaus admitted. "Ishmael was at the arboretum."
"Count Olaf was right," Erewhon said. "You failed us, Baudelaires."
"What do you mean, 'Count Olaf was right'?" Violet demanded.
"What do you mean, 'Ishmael was at the arboretum'?" Finn demanded.
"What do you mean, what do I mean?" Erewhon demanded.
"What you mean what you mean what I mean?" Sunny demanded.
"Please, everyone!" Ishmael cried from his clay chair. "I suggest we all take a few sips of cordial and discuss this cordially!"
"I'm tired of drinking cordial," Professor Fletcher said, "and I'm tired of your suggestions, Ishmael!"
"Call me Ish," the facilitator said.
"I'm calling you a bad facilitator!" retorted Calypso.
"Please, everyone!" Ishmael cried again, with a nervous tug at his beard. "What is all this argy-bargy about?"
"I'll tell you what it's about," Alonso said. "I washed up on these shores many years ago, after enduring a terrible storm and a dreadful political scandal."
"So what?" Rabbi Bligh asked. "Eventually, everyone washes up on these shores."
"I wanted to leave my unfortunate history behind," Alonso said, "and live a peaceful life free from trouble. But now there are some colonists talking of mutiny. If we're not careful, this island will become as treacherous as the rest of the world!"
"Mutiny?" Ishmael said in horror. "Who dares talk of mutiny?"
"I dare," Erewhon said. "I'm tired of your facilitation, Ishmael. I washed ashore on this island after living on another island even farther away. I was tired of a peaceful life, and ready for adventure. But whenever anything exciting arrives on this island, you immediately have it thrown into the arboretum!"
"It depends on how you look at it," Ishmael protested. "I don't force anyone to throw anything away."
"Ishmael is right!" Ariel cried. "Some of us have had enough adventure for a lifetime! I washed up on these shores after finally escaping from prison, where I had disguised myself as a young man for years! I've stayed here for my own safety, not to participate in more dangerous schemes!"
"Then you should join our mutiny!" Sherman cried. "Ishmael is not to be trusted! We abandoned the Baudelaires on the coastal shelf, and now he's brought them back!"
"The Baudelaires never should have been abandoned in the first place!" Ms. Marlow cried. "All they wanted to do was help their friend!"
"Their friend is suspicious," claimed Mr. Pitcairn. "She arrived on a raft of books."
"So what?" said Weyden. "I arrived on a raft of books myself."
"But you abandoned them," Professor Fletcher pointed out.
"She did nothing of the sort!" cried Larsen. "You helped her hide them, so you could force those children to read!"
"We wanted to learn to read!" Friday insisted.
"You're reading?" Mrs. Caliban gasped in astonishment.
"You shouldn't be reading!" cried Madame Nordoff.
"Well, you shouldn't be yodeling!" cried Dr. Kurtz.
"You're yodeling?" Rabbi Bligh asked in astonishment. "Maybe we should have a mutiny after all!"
"Yodeling is better than carrying a flashlight!" Jonah cried, pointing at Finn accusingly.
"Carrying a flashlight is better than hiding a picnic basket!" Sadie cried, pointing at Erewhon.
"Hiding a picnic basket is better than pocketing a whisk!" Erewhon said, pointing at Sunny.
"These secrets will destroy us!" Ariel said. "Life here is supposed to be simple!"
"There's nothing wrong with a complicated life," said Byam. "I lived a simple life as a sailor for many years, and I was bored to tears until I was shipwrecked."
"Bored to tears?" Friday said in astonishment. "All I want is the simple life my mother and father had together, without arguing or keeping secrets."
"That's enough," Ishmael said quickly. "I suggest that we stop arguing."
"I suggest we continue to argue!" cried Erewhon.
"I suggest we abandon Ishmael and his supporters!" cried Professor Fletcher.
"I suggest we abandon the mutineers!" cried Calypso.
"I suggest better food!" cried another islander.
"I suggest more cordial!" cried another.
"I suggest a more attractive robe!"
"I suggest a proper house instead of a tent!"
"I suggest fresh water!"
"I suggest eating bitter apples!"
"I suggest chopping down the apple tree!"
"I suggest burning up the outrigger!"
"I suggest a talent show!"
"I suggest reading a book!"
"I suggest burning all books!"
"I suggest yodeling!"
"I suggest forbidding yodeling!"
"I suggest a safe place!"
"I suggest a complicated life!"
"I suggest it depends on how you look at it!"