Josh & Hannah (Redwood Falls 1)

The tension was strong, the air thick as she waited for him to speak. He took his time about it as his eyes raked over her form, running slowly up and down her length. It was the middle of October, but it was still a hot day in Texas. Hannah wore a favorite pair of ragged blue jean shorts that she had paid an exorbitant amount of money for and a tight Houston Texans football t-shirt. It never failed, she always caught hell for the t-shirt living so close to Dallas, but she didn’t care. She and Zachary had a sibling rivalry going on when it came to football, and on the off chance he might come home this weekend, she’d wanted to wear the t-shirt if only to bring an amused smirk to her brother’s face.

“Nice shirt,” Josh finally drawled, his eyes running up and down her body, and landing on her chest.

Hannah shivered at the intensity of his gaze. “Thanks. Are you a Texans fan, too?” She had been trying to scope him out for days now, and couldn’t believe she couldn’t think of anything to say to him. Her tongue felt totally tied and she knew she sounded juvenile. But she couldn’t help it and it didn’t really matter, the electricity in the air made up for the lack of substantial conversation. As always, when in his vicinity, her legs started shaking and her heartbeat accelerated. It was even worse now, after his kisses.

“I wasn’t referring to football.” His voice was lethally low and as his gaze slowly lifted from her chest and his eyes tangled with hers, Hannah’s heart rate increased as his meaning became clear to her.

Josh felt as if he were stretched on a rack as he studied the way the shirt pulled tightly across the small feminine curves of her breasts. He swallowed hard and forced his brain into gear. He watched a blush rise on her cheeks and a shooting arrow of craving slid through him. How in the hell could he possibly feel this way about a fifteen-year-old girl? He was pissed that it took control to keep his voice even and hoped like hell that she wouldn’t notice. “I usually pull for the Cowboys.”

Hannah was beginning to recover from the shock of his unexpected appearance and wandered a few inches closer to him, as if pulled by a current she couldn’t resist. She wanted to be in his arms desperately; it was all she ever thought about. His nostrils flared and she could see his shoulders stiffen when she cautiously approached him.

“How’ve you been, princess? Made any new friends?” His voice was rough as she came to stand within two feet of him.

As shy as she usually was, Hannah knew she had to make the most of this encounter. She had promised herself faithfully, night after night, that if she ever had a chance with him again, she wasn’t going to pass it up. She had to be brave, and make the most of it, because even if he didn’t want to be with her, she didn’t want him to forget about her. “Not really.”

“That’s too bad.” Josh was trying to keep up with the conversation but it was difficult with Hannah’s scent in his nostrils. He’d been dreaming about her every day and every night. Day dreams, night dreams, wet dreams.

“I don’t really care. I’ve had other things on my mind lately.” Her voice held a touch of indifference.

“Really. What’s been consuming your attention? Linear equations? Beef futures? A new purse?” His words were sarcastic, but his voice was smooth and teasing. And then a dark scowl crossed his features and his voice took on a menacing tone. “Or do you have a boyfriend?”

Hannah moved the last few steps toward him and boldly invaded his personal space. “None of those things. Three more weeks, Josh.”

He knew she was referring to her upcoming birthday, but another few weeks ticked by on the calendar only reinforced to Josh how young she still was, even as he calmed down when he realized she didn’t have another guy in tow. But it would happen. Son of a bitch, it would happen. He gritted his teeth. “A few weeks older, princess?” He turned and leaned more fully against the bookshelf, in a parody of relaxation when he was anything but.

In a move that shocked her as well as him, Hannah put her hands on his chest and stood on tiptoe as she lifted her chin and looked into his eyes.

Tension ran down his body but he stood still as she stared up at him, her gaze now focused on his lips. His body stiffened as he tried to stay in control. “What do you want, Hannah?”

“I want … I want you to kiss me,” she said so softly he barely heard her.

His nostrils flared as incendiary heat gripped him by the throat. Fighting his arousal, he denied her, “I’m not going to kiss you. You’re only fifteen.”

Her comeback was immediate, “I was fifteen the last time you kissed me.”

He felt a pounding in the head at the truth of her accusation. “What can I say? I’m freakin’ insane.” He pushed out between gritted teeth.

“You won’t kiss me?”

Her expression became deflated and he hated, hated seeing her that way, but he stuck to his guns. “No.”

She watched him for a few seconds through her eyelashes. “Can I kiss you?”

Heat gripped him and shot down his body to harden him completely. He tried to answer with a denial, he really did. But he couldn’t form any words and the silence was deafening. He fisted his hands at his sides, and when she reached for his mouth, he let her take the kiss. He steeled his guts, and he made no move to help her. He made no move toward her at all.

Hannah reached up as far as she could and barely touched his mouth. She managed a few small kisses before giving up on his mouth in aggravation, which was out of her reach, even when she was on her tiptoes. He wasn’t pushing her away, but he wasn’t enabling her in any way, either.

She wasn’t daunted; she couldn’t be. This might be her only chance. He smelled fantastic, and she knew with some inborn woman’s intuition that he wanted to kiss her. She moved down his chin to his neck and put her lips there. She breathed his scent into her lungs and opened her mouth over his skin. He tasted slightly salty there, and when she heard a low vibration from the back of his throat, she opened her mouth on him and began licking and sucking him in earnest.

Pure, unadulterated excitement speared through her. She pushed her torso harder into his, and ran her hands up his chest to his shoulders. She wanted him to hold her and kiss her back, but he wasn’t doing that, so she just kept kissing him on the neck and on any bare skin she could reach.

Josh felt like his head was going to blow off … or like he was going to pop his wad, right here and right now. Every night, he went to sleep with Hannah on his mind. Every morning he woke with a hard-on for her that never truly went away.

When he’d seen her duck into the library this morning, he’d tried not to follow her in. He’d tried like fucking hell, but the trying hadn’t worked. He’d known that Mrs. Knowles, the librarian, was having her car serviced this morning.

And now he stood here, Hannah hanging on him, Hannah kissing him, Hannah making him hard. Jesus Christ, this had been a mistake. It was the sight of her in those tiny little shorts that did it. He literally hadn’t been able to stop himself from following her in here.

He knew she didn’t act like this with everyone. He knew that it was only with him. He had to get out of here. He was going to wind up going to jail or going to Hell. Or both.

With fierce determination that he dredged up from his doomed soul and a promise—a solemn oath to himself that he would have her, have her some day in the future—he pushed away from her, his biceps bulging, his breathing ragged.

They stood still, staring at each other, drinking each other in. Savoring each other, but with an air around them like combatants in a fight for the win.

“Sixteen won’t even be old enough, Hannah. That’s still too young for what I want and for what … for what you’re begging me to take. I’m not going to take advantage of you, so you need to be at least seventeen. That’ll also keep my sorry ass out of prison.” Josh watched her shoulders slump and a dejected, painful look cross her features. He softened his tone. “But I can promise you that the time will pass, and my feelings won’t change. I think you know the only thing stopping me is your age ?

? at least, that’s most of it. You come to me when you’re seventeen, and I’ll give you what you want. In fact, nothing on this planet will be able to keep me away from you when you’re seventeen.”

He ran his hand down her cheek and his voice gentled. “This was my fault. I came looking for you, and we both know it. So, the blame’s on me for this. But we have to stay away from each other, your father would take after me with a shotgun if he knew what kind of thoughts were running through my head.” He mostly used her father as an excuse; for some reason, Josh felt responsible for Hannah, and for her happiness. It would upset her family if he started seeing her, and he wasn’t ready for Hannah to be pulled in two directions. Something told him that if he ever had her, when he had her, he wouldn’t let her go for any reason. And he wanted to make sure she was ready for that when it happened.

Hannah wanted to go back in his arms so bad it physically hurt. And she didn’t know if she should tell him that she knew about his father and her soon-to-be-ex-sister-in-law. She didn’t really have the nerve and she didn’t think it would change his mind, anyway. She saw the restraint he was imposing on himself and wanted to prove she was just as grown up as he was. “When I’m seventeen? Is that a promise, Josh?”

“A promise?” Josh let loose a hint of humorless laughter. “There won’t be any place on earth where you’ll be able to hide from me then, Hannah.”

****

The next weekend, Hannah was staying the entire time with the Andersons because her parents were travelling to Shreveport to see Hannah’s maternal grandmother, who was lonely and had been in and out of the hospital.

Of course, it wasn’t a good thing that her grandmother wasn’t doing well. But the situation worked out for the girls who wanted to be at Ava’s house anyway, because it was the place where Josh or Ethan might show up if they came to see Ty.

Friday was a bust; the girls didn’t see either Josh or Ethan. So when Saturday night came, out of sheer boredom, Hannah and Ava walked to the only diner that the small town boasted and took a seat in a large booth. They sat across from each other and ordered french fries and Diet Cokes and while they waited for their food, they watched the diner slowly fill up for the suppertime meal.

Ava was facing the door, and her eyes got big and she whispered frantically to Hannah, “Ty just walked in with Ethan.”

Hannah started to swing her head around, but Ava hissed, “Don’t look, Hannah!”