Prologue
Ethan Jackson took a deep breath and tried like fuck not to wail like a baby.
Pregnant.
The word sent a bead of cold sweat down his spine.
He sucked in a shallow breath followed by another. How the hell could Ava be pregnant?
Obviously, the question he posed to himself was rhetorical because he already knew the damn answer. The real question was this: how the hell could he have fucked up so badly? How could he have lost control and taken that kind of risk with her? His guts clenched and although his mind was racing with panic, he didn't have to search long for the answer to his question.
It was because she was Ava.
That was the reason he'd screwed up, pure and simple. He'd always had it bad for Ava Anderson. Damn bad. His entire life had always revolved around her.
With his emotions in turmoil, visions from the past clouded his brain.
Yeah, it was true. Pretty much as long as he could remember, he'd craved Ava. He didn't even like to admit to himself how long he'd wanted a chance with her; it was damn uncomfortable to even think about, let alone admit.
He'd been friends with her brother Ty since way back and Ethan acknowledged he'd been horny for Ava since he'd been, what, about fourteen? She'd only been twelve or thirteen when she'd started developing those amazing breasts, and he'd been pretty much fucked ever since.
He'd been completely hot for her and during those early years he'd barely been able to hold his shit together. But he'd had to—she'd been just a kid—hell, he'd been just a kid. And really, he'd done remarkably fine, that is, until recently. Yeah, recently, shit had changed. Since the beginning of her sophomore year, since he'd been a senior, well, he'd tried to hold it together, he really had. But she'd kept getting prettier and prettier, and damn his sorry ass if he hadn't kept getting hornier and hornier.
He blamed his loss of control on the fact that she was always around. She was always there, always at Ty's house, right in front of his face and way too fucking close to his unruly pecker. He hadn't been able to maintain any distance, hadn't been able to get any relief from seeing her at all.
He and his other buddy Josh had always hung out at Ty's house because the Andersons lived right in the center of the town of Redwood Falls, only a street away from the high school. The three of them had been best buds since elementary school, and they'd always congregated at Ty's house because it was the most convenient. Ethan lived a good ten miles away, on his family's farm deep in the heart of the county, and Josh lived in the entirely opposite direction. So the three of them had always wound up at Ty's house. If Ethan had wanted to hang out with his friends, he couldn't do it without seeing Ava, and that had been almost every day of his godforsaken life.
He remembered having a really shitty month or two, when she'd been about fifteen, because he'd been afraid that Josh was going to make a play for her. If Ethan had found her lush curves irresistible, didn't it stand to reason that Josh would have felt the same way? But evidently his friend hadn't felt the same, thank God, and Ethan had been able to calm down again and go on with his life as always—blue balls and all—and that was a good thing, because at fifteen, Ava had still been too damn young for what he'd wanted from her.
During those years, Ethan had tried every freaking thing he could think of to not be so damn aware of her. He'd tried other girls, shit, lots of 'em. He and Josh and Ty were always trolling for chicks, and while it had passed the time, it hadn't done Ethan a bit of good. Every freaking girl he'd slept with had one face. Ava's. Every time he'd pushed into a girl, he'd had to grit his teeth while he promised himself that someday, some way, he'd have the girl he really wanted.
Nope, it hadn't done a damn bit of good to screw other girls, and lately, maybe the last year and a half or so, he'd given up the search for relief because it never worked. The second he crawled off whichever random chick he'd been with, he'd feel bitter recrimination, anger, and then the horniness would come flooding back—he'd still want Ava. He'd always wanted Ava, and just as soon as he'd realized there wasn't anything he could do to make the feelings go away, he'd manned up and admitted his feelings to Ty. And shit, why wouldn't he? She'd turned sixteen by then, and what the hell was he supposed to do? Lose her to some other dude because he was afraid of what her brother's reaction might be?
And oh, holy shit.
That reaction had been bad. Really, really bad. If there was one thing Ethan knew about Ty, it was that his friend wasn't stupid. Yeah, the dude had already suspected his secret and the very second the admission had come from his lips, the confrontation had turned physical. The memory of that day scorched through him with a vengeance. He'd been forced to hang low and barely fight back—allowing Ty to think he'd kicked his ass—and Ethan had never been good at letting anyone get away with shit like that.
But he'd done it for Ava, so he could be with her. So he could hold her and smell that scent that never failed to blast him into the stratosphere every time he got close to her.
Yeah, he'd really tried to stay away from her all those months and years.
But then he'd seen her in her underwear.
His stomach clenched as the vision slammed his brain. Jesus Christ.
The memory of that day, even now, knowing she was pregnant with his baby, still made him horny. Hell, her pregnancy wasn't doing a damn thing to cool him down. And holy hell. The streak of possessiveness he felt for her was ten times worse now. And really, why wouldn't it be? She was pregnant with his baby.
So while he knew he'd fucked up, and even though it made him feel extremely guilty, he couldn't completely regret the mistake he'd made because he had her now. There was no way she could ever get away from him.
But yeah, the day he'd seen her in her underwear had been the day that everything had changed between them. There'd been no holding back for him; he'd been purely fucked from that moment on.
Chapter One
Redwood Falls, Texas
Ethan sat in the passenger seat as Ty pulled his beat-up truck in the driveway and put the vehicle in park. While the engine idled, Ethan dipped his head and glanced at the Anderson house, looking for any telltale movement from behind the curtains. As he sat glued in his seat with his gaze on the front windows, from his peripheral vision he saw Ty turn and give him a penetrating look.
Ethan pulled his attention from the house, glanced at Ty, and asked, "What?"
"There's a twelve-p
ack of Coke in the fridge," Ty snapped distractedly as he pulled his cell phone from his pocket and began scrolling through it.
"What? You want me to get it?" Ethan asked as his friend stayed planted behind the wheel with his attention centered on the cell phone in his hands.
Sparing a single glance, Ty glared at him, obviously short on patience, hissing, "Yeah."
"It's your house," Ethan argued under his breath. He didn't want to go in that house. Hell, no. Hell. Fucking. No.
"You know my goddamn battery is older than dirt. The truck will die if I don't keep it revved, so get your lazy ass up and get the damn Cokes. It's going to be hot at the lake, we'll need 'em," Ty said in a tone filled with frustration.
Ethan didn't want to make a big deal out of this, but he didn't want to run into Ty's little sister, either. The girl packed a punch and she'd been fucking with his equilibrium for longer than he cared to think about. "There's no one home?" he asked hopefully.
"You know damn good and well my parents are at work," Ty gritted out.
"What about your sister?" Jesus. Ethan knew he sounded like an idiot.
Ty looked up from texting with an immediate scowl on his face. "What about her?"
"Is she home?" Ethan asked neutrally.
"How the hell should I know? Who cares? Hurry up." Ty glowered before his concentration dropped to his phone once again.
Ethan steeled himself to just go ahead and go inside before he said something stupid that would tip Ty off to the fact that he was ballsing for Ava, big time. Yeah, that would be great, just fucking great if Ty found out how much he wanted to screw his little sister. Without wasting more time, he climbed out of the truck and went through the back door, which was rarely locked. He'd been friends with Ty since elementary school and Ethan knew the layout of the house like the palm of his hand.
He walked straight into the kitchen and was about to open the refrigerator when he heard the noise. He stood with his hand on the handle for how long, he had no idea. The noise was low and humming and he tried like hell not to walk farther into the house to investigate. Problem was, he literally couldn't stop himself, the possibility of what he might find was like crack to a drug addict. Continuing to fight himself, he was drawn like a magnet to steel as he began walking through the small house toward the bedrooms.
As he strode through the living room and came closer to the other side of the house, he recognized the noise as a blow dryer. Shit. What the hell was he doing? It had to be Ava. She had to be in her bedroom drying her hair.
So just turn around and leave, dumbass. On automatic pilot, ignoring the voice of reason screaming in his head, he found himself walking down the hallway and looking toward her bedroom door, which was ajar. Turn the fuck around and leave, you dumbass. Even as he ordered himself to do just that, he took two more steps into the hallway and froze when he realized the humming sound was coming from the bathroom, and that the door stood completely open.
Almost in slow motion, he turned to look in that direction and what he saw hit him like a sucker-punch to the stomach as lust gripped him hard and heavy.
Shit a fucking brick. His chest literally constricted at the sight in front of him and he thought for a second he might have a heart attack.
Ava was damn near naked, and with the vision, a rush of blood left his brain and flooded to his groin, bringing his cock to full attention in two seconds flat and leaving him speechless. She stood in front of the bathroom vanity, dressed only in bra and panties, and her arms were lifted over her head as she held the dryer with one hand and a brush with the other. Her skin was lightly tanned from the sun, and the way she was stretching up to reach above her head lengthened her torso and pushed her breasts out.
And they weren't small breasts by any means. Jesus Christ, no. Her breasts were full and bouncy and he was sure he was going to have an aneurysm right then and there from the view in front of him. He couldn't have been more aroused; his cock was pushing painfully against his zipper like it had finally found its true purpose in life, and there wasn't anything he wanted more than to walk over and touch her. He needed to do that, this very instant.
He wanted to kiss her, yeah. He wanted to touch her lips and taste her skin and fill his hands with those bouncy tits.
Shit, he wanted it so bad. But he wanted to do more than touch. He wanted to do her. He'd been wanting to fuck her for at least a couple of years now, and what the hell kind of life would he have if he never got to have that? What the shit was he supposed to do? Start dating some random chick just to take his mind away from Ava Anderson? And then what? End up married to someone else and never, ever get to know what it felt like to sink inside the girl he really wanted?
That would suck shit; the rest of his life would suck shit. He'd regret it for the rest of his godforsaken days if he never got to be with Ava and hold those naked breasts in his hands.
He didn't know how long he silently stood staring at her and fantasizing, but it was long enough that she must have felt his eyes roaming over her.
She swiveled as she looked his way. A touch of panic lit her features as the color drained from her face. Her arms came down as she switched off the blow dryer, continuing to watch him as if she were a deer caught in headlights. As if he were a wild animal about to attack.
Yeah, he felt like a predator. He wanted to eat her. He could taste her already.
Was she a virgin?
He'd bet good money she was. Redwood Falls was a small town; there would have been gossip if she'd slept with someone. And damn if her being untouched didn't please him. Just the thought of someone else getting a hold of her was pissing him off to such a degree he felt like he might explode with rage.
He took a deep breath and tried to calm down. She couldn't have been touched, Ty wouldn't have stood for that shit. The guy would probably kill anybody who even looked at his little sister the wrong way.
Shit, Ty would kill him. Ethan swallowed down his agitation. It wasn't a new revelation, Ethan had known that fact all along. His buddy would want to murder him in cold blood if he ever got wind of the thoughts that had been blasting through his head.
Ava made a tiny motion and all thoughts of her brother's probable fury fled Ethan's brain.
His gaze dropped from the troubled look in her eyes, down to the smooth softness of the bottom lip he wanted to drag between his teeth. He followed the line of her neck and could make out the small quiver of her pulse there. He stepped closer, but at his forward motion, her chest lifted as she inhaled sharply in obvious alarm.
He stopped abruptly. His fingers involuntarily fisted as he tried to gain control. His abdominals tightened with the attempt as his cock jerked against his underwear. He felt all the effects of arousal: his balls tightened, his breathing staggered, his muscles corded with tension. He was itching to touch her.
Unable to stop himself, he took another step closer, and her eyes immediately widened. A blush stole over her cheeks as a mortified expression crossed her features.
He wanted to feel sorry for her, he really did. He was sure it was probably embarrassing the shit out of her to be caught in her underwear. He knew the move he should make—he should be fucking courteous and turn around and leave.
His mother had attempted to raise him as a gentleman—why the hell was he having such a problem with it now?
His feet started moving, but he didn't turn to leave. Oh, hell, no, he walked straight toward her as he continued to stare at her. And he was up close now, where he could see every nuance of every expression that crossed her face. He stood so close that he could actually see the pulse beating in her throat, and not just imagine seeing it there. He stood so close he could see the pink color of her nipples showing through the thin white material of her plain cotton bra.
Fuck and double fuck. He wanted to touch her so bad he could feel the blood racing through his veins, at least what blood was left that hadn't already made his cock rock hard.
But he couldn't let himself touch her.
She looked panic stricken, and goddammit, Ty would kill him if he touched her. Pissed already that he couldn't have what he wanted, feeling like a rabid animal about to attack, he reached up and braced his hands on the doorframe so they wouldn't sink around her upper arms and drag her down to the floor as every instinct demanded.
He clung tightly to the frame because he couldn't trust himself—he couldn't trust his damn hands. His fingers tightened around the wood as he clenched down hard, feeling his arms shake with the effort. His hands safely anchored to the frame, he allowed his torso to sway toward her just a small amount—and she took a stumbling, half step backwards. His frown intensified as she continued to inch away from him, ever so slowly.
His eyes slid down her body, his gaze coming to a halt on the perfect, vertical slash of her navel. Another wave of heat hit him so he closed his eyes momentarily, trying to get his shit together. When he opened them, he knew he hadn't gotten a grip because against his will, his eyes dropped to the juncture between her thighs. With extreme irritation, he briefly thought about the faceless girls he'd fucked, always trying to find a substitute for the one standing in front of him that he couldn't have.
Yeah, that shit hadn't ever worked. He'd always wanted this one girl and that one hot little place between her thighs where his eyes were glued now. His dick hardened even more as he felt his nostrils flare and his abs tighten, as if anticipating a body blow.
He had no idea how long he stood there, but he knew he had to take advantage of this opportunity to check out her body. This was a once in a lifetime moment, and there was no way he could look away. His heart staggered with the thought that this might be the only time he would ever see her like this. He began to get pissed again just thinking about it.