“That’s news to me!”
“Well, it makes it more convenient for Dex and I. Phone sex just isn’t cutting it anymore.”
I felt a wave of nausea hit me when I realized what she had said.
“Did your mom just say—”
My hand came up to cover Sydney’s mouth.
“Don’t repeat it. Please, for the love of all things. Don’t. Repeat it.”
She snickered, pushing my hand away. “Oh, come on! It’s precious!”
I curled my lip up at her.
“It’s not only because of Dex that I’m considering moving back. I have a feeling I’m going to have a new grandbaby in the near future.”
Everyone in the room gasped. And next to me, so did Sydney.
“Not so precious anymore, is she?” I whispered.
“When are they going back to Boston? We need to get her out of Salem before the whole town thinks I’m pregnant!” Sydney said, horrified.
“What’s going on?” Dad asked, causing us to jump.
“Are you and Mom having sex?” I asked, a little louder than I would have liked.
Without missing a beat, my father said, “Yes.”
I stared at him while Sydney rushed into the room to retrieve my very tipsy mother.
“I’m telling Darrin and Karen!”
My father threw back his head and laughed. “What? You’re telling on us? So what if we’re having sex? We have been for over thirty years.”
I covered my ears. “I’m not ready for this! I’m not ready!”
Sydney came out with my mother. Mom’s arm was draped around Sydney, and she was talking about some gemstone for fertility she found out about.
“Good God, she’s trashed! Let’s get her home,” I said, taking her from Sydney.
By the time we got back to my house, Mom had passed out in the back seat. But not before we had to hear about the best sexual positions to use to get pregnant. And she was considerate enough to share that she?
?d tested each of them when she’d been attempting to get pregnant with Darrin.
My father had mastered the art of tuning out my mother. I, on the other hand, had not learned that skill yet. I made a mental note to ask him how he did it.
Once Mom was in bed and Dad was settled in the living room chair with a beer and ESPN, I ran up to my room and packed a bag.