I put my hands on her for the first time as a man and had to fight past the need to dig in and take. Not yet, let her have one last moment of reprieve before she stepped off this fucking cliff. I held her nape in my hand and it rang home just how tiny she was in comparison. I could snap her neck like a twig.
My guts cramped at the thought of someone hurting her if I was no longer here to protect her. How would I live with that shit if I walked away and something happened to her down the line? Still, it was only fair to give her a fighting chance, because once this shit moved to the next level, all bets are off.
"If I put you under me I will own you completely until I say different. It’s not a democracy and you won’t have a fucking choice. As your man, things will be a hell of a lot different to the way they are now. As your bodyguard, it’s your choice to take me or leave me, as your man the choice is mine.”
I let that sink in for a second before hitting her with the full force of my fuckery. I totally expected her to walk away when I was done, and as much as it pained me to do it, this was as much for me as it was her. I was fucking drowning here and I didn’t like it. Not one bit.
“That means if you're on the set in the middle of a scene and I give you a look that means come to me, then you drop whatever the fuck you're doing and come. I’ll deal with your onscreen kissing shit, but you ever do that shit in real life I’ll tan your ass and then make you sorry you ever crossed me. Can you handle that?"
7
Her eyes had gone wide as saucers but I wasn’t done. “When I fuck, I fuck hard, if you can’t keep up I’ll make you. I won’t stop once I start so be very fucking sure that you want this. I’m not gonna ask you about your past experiences, but I can tell you, fucking with me, won’t be the same.”
I didn’t miss the way she flinched when I mentioned her past but again I let it slide. Probably some snot nosed kid from back home had given her a hard time for moving on. I couldn’t say that I blamed him whoever he is. I wouldn’t want to lose someone like her if I’d ever had the opportunity to have her either.
That’s why I needed her to get what the fuck I was saying now. I’m not into self-affliction and no one, not even her, was going to fuck with my life. There was fear and uncertainty involved here, because I’d never been here before.
I’ve never wanted to go all in with a woman in my life and I’m not the type to leave shit up to circumstance. If I open myself up to her and she screws me, she’s fucked.
“I hope you understand what I’m saying because if this goes south we’re both gonna be in a world of hurt. I don’t play fair, not when it comes to my emotions, so think long and hard.” I held her eyes with mine hoping she could read the severity of what I was saying to her.
“Tell me you understand what I’m saying, that there’s no confusion.” She nodded her head but her eyes had not lost that Bambi caught in the headlights look.
“Now promise me that if you decide you want this, that you will never forget what I just said to you. I don’t want to hurt you, but if you fuck with me there’s no guarantee that I won’t. I won’t share you ever; do you understand?”
“I promise.” Okay I was done.
I should probably let her go now, give her time to think, but I liked the feel of her under my hand too much. And just in case she called a halt before we even got started, I needed that little piece of her. I studied her lips for the longest time, dying to take a taste, but fuck if I was going to settle for an appetizer when I wanted the whole meal.
“Why are you trying to scare me off?” Oh, so she got that did she? Her eyes were bright with lust, but now mixed with apprehension.
“Because I want you to be sure. Because you’re so fucking young I’m questioning this shit, but there’s no denying I want inside you.”
She had that cute little blush going on again, and I wondered what the fuck I was playing at with the little innocent. But it was her innocence that was drawing me in, even as I was wary of it. I knew for a fact that if she got into my bed that shit would be sullied within a week.