Lord of London Town
Page 1
“Hell is empty and all the devils are here.”
- William Shakespeare
LORD OF LONDON TOWN BRITISH SLANG & TERMS
(Note: many of these slang words/terms have multiple uses in British slang. The ones stated below are used in the context of this novel)
Arse — buttocks. “He fell on his arse.” Can also be used as an insult. “You arse!”
Away with the fairies — not all there. A little crazy. Dreamlike state. “She was away with the fairies.”
Barmy — slightly crazy. Odd. Strange. “You’re barmy, mate.”
Bird — girl or young woman. “That bird’s hot.”
Bloke — man. “He’s a big bloke.”
Bloody — mild expletive. “Bloody hell!”
Bobby/Bobbies — a police officer/the police. “Call the bobbies.”
Bollocks — testicles. “She kicked me in my bollocks.” Can also be used to call out a lie. “That’s total bollocks!”
Bonkers — insane. “You’re bonkers!”
Boot — trunk of a vehicle. “I put my suitcase in the boot.”
Booze — alcohol. “Bring some booze to the party.”
Cabbie — taxi-cab driver. “I paid the cabbie.”
Cig — cigarette. “Pass me a cig.”
Clapped eyes — to see or look at someone or something. “I clapped eyes on her.”
Cockney — a native of East London. “He spoke with a Cockney accent.”
Dodgy — something wrong or illegal. “That looked dodgy.”
Fannying — messing around. “Stop fannying about with your phone.”
Fella — man or boy. “Little fella.”
Firm — British-based organised criminal gang/syndicate. “They’re part of the notorious Adley Firm.”
Flannel — washcloth. “I washed my face with a flannel.”
Flat — apartment. “My flat was on the fifth floor.”
Gaffer — boss. “Talk to the gaffer.”
Gear — drugs. “They had the best gear in England.”
Geezer — man (generally old in age). “He was a proper geezer.”
Gobshite — loud-mouthed person who talks a lot, but nothing of real worth. “He’s a proper gobshite.”
Graft — hard work. “That was hard graft.”
Half-arsed — to do something to a poor standard. “That was a half-arsed attempt.”
Hard — tough. “He was hard as nails.”
Hen do — bachelorette party. “It’s my hen do on Saturday.”
Jumper — sweatshirt. “He was wearing a red jumper.”
Knackered — extremely tired. “I’m bloody knackered!”
Knickers — female undergarments. “Her knickers were lace.”
Legless — extremely drunk. “He was legless!”
Lift — elevator. “We took the lift upstairs.”
Mate — friend. “My best mate.” Can also be used in a negative term toward someone who has annoyed you. “Mate, back the hell off.”
Mobile (phone) — cell phone. “I answered my mobile.”
Numpty — a derogatory term meaning ‘stupid’. “He was a bloody numpty.”
Old Bill — police. “Here come the Old Bill.”
Pigs — a derogatory term for the police force. “Here come the pigs!”
Pissed — drunk. “He was completely pissed.”
Pissed off — angry. “You pissed her off.”
Plank — mildly offensive term meaning ‘stupid’ or ‘idiot’. “Shut up, you plank.”
Prick — a derogatory term meaning ‘stupid’. “Stop being a prick!”
Secondary school — High school. “I’m at secondary school.”
Shag — to have sex. “Fancy a shag?”
Sixth Form — non-compulsory final two years of high school. “We went to the same Sixth Form.”
Slapper — offensive term for a woman with loose morals. “She was a total slapper.”
The Big Smoke — a large city, especially London. “We headed back to The Big Smoke.”
Tosser — mildly offensive term. “You tosser!”
Trap — mouth. “Shut your trap!”
Trolleyed — drunk/intoxicated with alcohol. “They were completely trolleyed.”
Trousers — pants. “He wore black trousers.”
Twat — a derogatory term meaning ‘stupid’ or ‘obnoxious’. “He was a twat.”
Wanker — mildly offensive term. “You bloody wanker.”
Prologue
ARTHUR
Aged thirteen
I stared into the fire.
The flames grew higher and higher, crawling up the stone chimney. I felt the blistering heat on my forehead and cheeks, felt my eyebrows begin to singe. I leaned in even closer. I wanted to know what it felt like when the flames licked my skin.
I wanted to know what they had felt when they were trapped, when the fire had burned them alive. I reached out my hand, my fingers moving closer to the flames. Their dance was reflected in my glasses. All I could see was an aura of orange and red and yellow. My skin started to burn as my fingertips almost touched the flame. I smelled my arm hair burning. I moved closer and closer, almost touching it—
“Arthur!” Someone pulled on my shoulder, wrenching me back into the ancient wingback chair. “What the fuck, son?” My dad crouched before me. I looked into his eyes but could still see the flames beckoning me closer from the corner of my eye. “What the hell were you doing?” He took hold of my upper arms, then my throbbing hand. It was bright red where the flames had got too close. “Christ, Arthur! Look at the bloody state of your hand!”
“I wanted to know what they felt,” I said, staring at my red and bubbled skin. Dad got up and walked into the kitchen. When he came back, he was holding a bag of frozen peas. He pressed it to my palm. It hurt like a bitch, but I wouldn’t tell him that. I didn’t care if it hurt.