I cried out into the room, the sound echoing off the old beamed ceilings. Arthur crawled above me. His eyes met mine as he slid inside me, as he hooked his arms under mine and filled me, chest to chest. He groaned, and the sound was a symphony in my ears as he thrust inside me at a steady, maddening pace. As I closed my eyes, tears pricked behind my lids.
In all the years that he had come to me in Oxford, in all the nights since the pit, it had never been like this. It had never, ever been like this for me. And I knew it never would be again.
I opened my eyes. He lifted his face from my neck and saw my tears fall. Arthur frowned, then licked at the falling tears as he increased his pace. He drove me slowly insane, gently pushing and pushing me until I tensed, then cried out in ecstasy as I came. I held on to him tightly as I melted against him. Arthur kissed me, then he stilled, groaning into my mouth as I swallowed the sound of his release.
He fell forward, his head tucking into my neck, his lips kissing my damp skin. He stayed inside me, thrusting softly as our pleasure was wrung out. I ran my hands along his back and stroked his hot skin.
Arthur lifted his head, then pulled out of me, bringing me to his chest. His heart was racing as I pressed my ear to his pecs. His breathing was heavy, and I wondered what he was thinking. I knew he wouldn’t tell me. At least, I knew I had to give him time to open up to me.
But this, what we had just shared, was a start.
We had just made love. Arthur had just made love to me. I never thought I would ever see the day when he let me in enough to have that.
He thought himself dark. He thought himself untouchable and unloveable. To me he was anything but.
I stared at the beams in the ceiling. His hand was entwined with mine. I felt him light a cigarette then smelled the smoke crawling around us. The white smoke billowed into the air above us, and I watched as it faded into nothing.
My mind drifted to the conversations we had had. When Arthur had pushed me, trying to test me, to see if I would run away. If I would abandon him because of his life, because of what he had done—still did. If I would eventually shy away from the black hole and empty void that lived within him. If I would finally flee from the demons he fought daily and the ones he let take control of his soul.
I wouldn’t. Holding him like this made it worth it. It made everything—all the good, the bad and the depraved—worth it.
“There’s comfort in darkness,” I said, softly, so as not to disturb the aftermath of our first love-making. But Arthur tensed, and his hand tightened in mine. With my free hand I ran lazy circles on the back of his palm. “People are afraid of the dark.” I knew he was listening to every word I said by the way he held his breath. “But there’s solace to be found in darkness too.” I smiled as I saw the midnight sky through the skylight in the old ceiling. The stars and the moon hung just outside, illuminating us where we lay.
“Like that,” I said, pointing at the sky. “We wouldn’t see the stars without the dark. The moon.” I turned my head to Arthur, to the scars on his torso—knife marks from his hard upbringing, from his many violent fights. Some, from the look of things, that had been close to being fatal. I kissed his biggest scar, then looked up at his watching gaze. “I’m not afraid of the dark, Arthur. I never have been.”
He stared at me for so long I didn’t think he would give me a response. Then, “Good,” was all he said as I closed my eyes and felt him wrap around me, darkness and all.
“Come on, princess. Wake up.”
I blinked my eyes open. The room was still dark. But in the slither of light from the lamp on the bedside table, I saw Arthur. He was dressed and waiting for me. I realised he mustn’t have slept at all when I saw on the clock that only two hours had passed. “Get dressed.”
“Where are we going?” I asked, rubbing sleep from my eyes as I kicked my legs off the side of the bed. Arthur’s nostrils flared at the sight of my naked body stretching, but he tossed some underwear, black leggings and his hoodie at me. I quickly dressed, smelling his scent on the hoodie as I pulled it over my head. I laughed when I looked down; the hem fell to my knees. Then my heart thudded erratically when I saw an amused smirk on Arthur’s mouth.