Beautiful Disaster (Privilege 2)

Ariana simply stared at him. Off in the shower room, a few guys hooted and hollered. Laughter filled the air.

"You can drop the ignorant act. It's beneath you," she said, crossing her arms over her chest.

"What ignorant act?" Palmer said, gripping his bag strap with both hands.

Ariana scoffed. "You know you were about to kiss me the other night. You led me on."

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Palmer laughed, tipping his head back slightly. "Led you on? I'd known you for one day."

Embarrassment heated Ariana's face, but she told herself not to let it get to her. She was right. She knew she was right. "Yes. And you led me on for one day." Palmer's smile waned slightly. Ariana walked toward him. "If Lexa hadn't shown up at that moment, you would have kissed me. Just admit it."

He took a deep breath and blew it out, studying her for a long moment. Ariana could have died from the strain of wanting to touch him. To just sink into his chest and wrap his arms around her. Then, finally, he spoke. "I can't."

She blinked, tearing her gaze away from his arms and looking into his eyes. "Can't because it's not true, or won't because you have a girlfriend?"

"A little bit of both?" he said with an annoyingly endearing smile.

"What the hell is that supposed to mean?" Ariana asked.

"Nothing," he said, averting his eyes. He adjusted the strap of his bag and started past her, avoiding her gaze. "Forget I said anything."

"No," Ariana said, her heart pounding. Palmer paused and placed his hands on either side of the doorway, leaning into them. He tipped his head forward and groaned, a noise that sent a skitter of nervousness through Ariana. "The other night you said ... you implied that you're all about fairness, right?"

Palmer, his back still to her, snorted. "Right."

"So do you really think it's fair to say something like that to me and then not elaborate? To not tell me the truth?" Ariana asked, crossing her arms over her chest.

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"No. I guess not." He stood up straight and turned around to face her. There was obvious conflict in his gorgeous eyes. Conflict that gave her hope. "So here's the truth. I love Lexa. I've been with her forever and I love her. I'm sorry if that hurts or whatever, but I do."

Ariana's heart shriveled like a raisin in the sun.

"But--"

And just like that it expanded again.

"But?" she repeated hopefully.

"But it's complicated. If I'm being totally honest, that night . . . maybe I forgot for a second that I was in love with her," Palmer said. "Just for a second."

Ariana stared at him. Did he have any idea how awful this made her feel? He kept dangling what she wanted just within her grasp, then snatching it away again.

"I do like you, Ana. You're ... different than the other girls I know. But I just... I can't," he said. " I hope you understand."

Ariana swallowed hard. She was not going to play the victim here. Not going to let him see the hundreds of awful, warring emotions he had inspired in her. She was going to be the bigger person and put an end to this, right here, right now. For her own sake. For his

. For Lexa's.

"I understand," she said in a clear, unaffected voice. "I completely understand."

"Good." The depth of his relief was obvious. "So . . . we're okay then. We're friends."

"Yes," Ariana said with a nod. "We're friends."

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